Heal- Book One
by Floodtail- AKA Floody
Summary: "I don't hate you. I just hate how you understand me." Jade needed Tori to understand, and they needed each other to heal. But how can one heal invisible wounds that run deeper than the skin, especially if they're being slashed open every day, every hour, every minute? ;Jade/Tori; femslash. M for triggers.
1. Snow and Ice

CHAPTER ONE

**I have become a huge Jori fan, (like, obsessively, to the point of where I'm daydreaming and missing things in class) and I honestly couldn't help myself to not writing a FanFic. If you know me in real life (you know who you are FandomCrossroads,) then please, just skip this story. I've told you I'm much darker and bold on here!**

**To my other fans or people reading this- You'll have to have watched 'A Christmas Tori' and 'Tori and Jade's Play Date' to see all the lines I took from the episodes. :D Or if you've watched em all, keep an eye out for the lines from other episodes, cuz there are plenty! **

**It'll be a little bumpy in character, so I apologize if anything comes off OOC. Everyone shall develop and change character throughout the story! Surely the story would fail if Jade and Tori hated each other throughout, amiright? :D If you are one of my other FFN fans, I apologize sincerely that I have been inactive for so long. My sister broke my laptop and I had no other computer on hand. Soooo sorry! :( If Jade's part when she talks about her family sounds bitter, my apologies. That could be a little bit of my own bitterness leaking in there, because unfortunately, my home life is rather… rocky, at the moment. Not something I really care to talk about, but I just am going through a lot atm.**

**If you have a problem with gay things, too bad. You shouldn't be reading this. I'm NOT going to make a big deal with the 'laws' about it, because to be quite frank, you love who you love, and that's just how simple it is; at least, that's my view on it. Now, on you read! :D**

Who had made her like this?

She knew. She knew and hated all of them. Her dark heart and cold soul was because of them.

It was no use laying blame. She was already irreparable, like a vase smashed to thousands of glittering shards, dust, powder. Unhealable.

She was beautiful and she was _broken_. Her father had once said there was a gravitational pull with people like her. Everyone is drawn to people who are beautifully broken. They try to fix them and only end up breaking them even more.

That was often the occurrence in her case, she had always thought with a bitter smile. No one dug deep, because as they knew her bite was _much _worse than her bark, or so she said.

She had built up nearly impenetrable walls, created a near-flawless facade of darkness. A sarcastic, bitter, violent facade, but still believable, nevertheless. She either hated you, tolerated you, or didn't know you existed.

Until _she_ came. The new kid. That weird Trina Vega's little sister.

_Her. _

God, how Jade _hated_ Tori. Then, to her loathing and surprise, it changed. The night was supposed to be cheerful— Christmas Eve. Then the tables turned, even though Jade didn't want them to. It was so much easier to loathe Victoria Vega. Tori, with her optimism, her confidence, her sweet personality. It was so hard to hate her, but she did. She hated those brown eyes flecked with amber and chocolate and gold, the grin that always sparkled in their depths, the falling waves of mocha hair and the chiming laugh and… and everything.

But she didn't hate Tori for any reason, did she? No. She hated how the deep, soulful eyes always pierced her right down to her heart, finding the weak links in her facade, climbing the walls even as she built them.

It was quite a paradox.

Jade had always liked to tell herself, and indeed for a while it was true, that she couldn't feel anything. Only anger, tolerance or hate. Those were her modes; that was what she stuck to.

Dear Lord, she despised Tori Vega.

It had been the night before Christmas. Snow was spiraling down into the night, melting on the ground. The cold white flakes were rare in the hot climate, and the shrieks of children enjoying it were driving Jade up a wall. She gritted her teeth, clenching her pale hands on the steering wheel as she drove to the Vega residence.

She was going to tell Tori the idea and leave. Plain and simple, the way she liked it. Her gift was actually a good one, and she'd let herself feel a bit of pride at it. What better than to help Tori out, in a non-materialistic way?

"So-called time for giving," Jade muttered under her breath. "Ugh… I hate the holidays."

She flicked on the window wipers, snorting angrily. She didn't like snow, either. Not one little bit. It was too white, too clean… too _happy_. And it brought up memories, ones she didn't want to remember. Ones she'd been trying to forget for so long.

As she turned into the expanse of the driveway, a string of Christmas lights flickering on, bathing the gravel in a merry glow. Jade wrapped her black jacket even more tightly around her shivering frame and stepped from the car, her boots crunching underneath her. Stars shone down like chips of light, far away and unfeeling. The gravel walk wound through a patch of shrubbery. The glossy green leaves were dusted in snow, and Jade's teeth chattered. This cold drove straight to her bones; it was unlike any other cold she'd ever felt.

She knocked loudly on the polished oak door, hearing it echo inside. Footsteps, followed by a muffled voice, were heard from the interior.

"Tori, get the door!" she heard Trina yell. A muffled reply. From Tori?

Jade inhaled slightly as the younger Vega swung open the door, shock instantly stiffening the girl's face. Warmth and light and the smell of baking spilled out, washing over her. She gratefully drank in the warmth, carefully not letting her relief at seeing Tori show.

"J-Jade?" Tori stuttered, stepping back slightly.

"Correct." Jade smiled in a feral manner.

"Uhm…what are you here for?"

Jade stepped past, shaking wet slush from her boots. "You," she replied in a bored tone. She narrowed her eyes in surprise when she saw Robbie by a massive Christmas tree. "They're flocking the tree," Tori said as an explanation. "'Flocking' means putting on fake snow."

"I know what it means, Vega," Jade snapped, throwing her bags down.

"Wait!"

Jade turned. "What?"

"You don't have those new scissors on you, do you?" Tori asked, apprehension flickering across her face.

"No," Jade said indignantly, pulling off her jacket and shaking snow from her hair.

Tori gave her a look of suspicion, raising an eyebrow.

Jade sighed loudly and turned to the side, holding her arms out. "Search me."

Tori walked over, patting down both her arms with a look from narrowed brown eyes.

"Don't be shy," Jade told her as the girl's hands reached her mid-torso. Tori looked up in surprise, and Jade smirked at her evident embarrassment. Perfect. That was exactly what she'd been going for. Tori moved her hands down, giving an angry noise as she patted the lump that was a pair of sharpened scissors. Jade grit her teeth as the scissors were removed and snipped several times in her face. Tori gave her a look that said 'explain that'.

"Those are my _old _scissors," she said sweetly, enjoying the anger that darted across her rival's face. Tori's eyes flickered with heat as she scoffed at Jade's obvious lie.

"Good to know you were planning to kill me," Tori scorned her. Jade's eyes widened in disbelief, and she studied Tori's angry features. "I wouldn't have killed you," she said carefully, twining her hands together. "I would've just hurt you badly."

"That makes me feel so much better." Vega raised an eyebrow and threw the blades aside, wiping her hands on her hips. "Okay. You're here. So what do you want?"

Jade raised her eyes skyward, sighing in boredom. "Merry Christmas."

Tori looked surprised. "Wait, _you're_ my secret Santa?"

"Ho, ho, ho." Jade replied as an answer, her boredom dripping off the words.

"Hooo," Tori replied, grinning, her cheer spreading a little to Jade. "So… what's my gift?"

"An idea," she said consideringly, "for a gift to give to Andre."

"Wait, you have an idea?"

"A perfect one," she assured Tori. "Do you honestly think I would come over here without any good reason?"

"Awesome! Tell me!" Tori said excitedly.

Jade smirked at her rival, an idea coming to mind. "_Beg_ me."

Tori rolled her eyes. "Come _on_! If you have an idea, just—"

A loud buzzing cut into her words, making them both glance up in curiosity.

Trina was armed with a long silver tube. "How do I make it flock?" she shouted at Robbie.

Robbie pointed at it, "You just press the top red button—"

A huge glob of fake white snow exploded from the end, hitting Robbie square in the face. Tori burst into laughter and Jade smirked as Robbie gasped in shock, bending over with fake snow dripping all over him.

Trina turned it off, gasping. "Sorry!" the elder Vega said, her voice high with suppressed laughter.

Robbie lifted his hands as if to wipe the huge mess off. "_Please_ get me a flock rag," he gasped. While Robbie tried to shake off the white goo, Jade turned away from the dripping boy, eyeing Tori.

She really didn't know why she hated the younger Vega, she thought apprehensively.

_Why do I?_

She didn't hate Cat, who was far more annoying and bubbly, she didn't hate Beck, her ex-boyfriend, who was so clueless sometimes, she didn't hate Andre, who was… well, she was okay with Andre, or Robbie and his infuriating puppet.

Perhaps it was because they were both actresses?

No, she was fine with everyone else in Sikowitz's class. Well, mostly.

Was it because they were both beautiful?

_Wait_, she though, shocked at herself, feeling her cheeks flush hotly, _Did I really just think of Tori as… beautiful? _

Suddenly she was flashed back to their 'date' at Nozu's sushi bar. They had to play a believable husband and wife in a play, so they had been forced to interact for five whole hours, which was pure and utter torture. Sikowitz had left, and Tori had called a waiter over.

"_Excuse me." She had said, grimacing like the idea of hours with Jade pained her deeply. "My 'date' and I were wondering, do you have a flight of stairs we could throw ourselves down?" _

After that, they'd talked.

"_Worst night ever," Jade had muttered, stirring her drink absentmindedly._

"_Oh, you think _I'm _having fun on this 'date'?" Tori snapped, air quoting the words with contempt, her brown eyes glaring daggers at Jade. "Because I'm not." _

"_Then let's not talk." Jade snapped back, turning her head, her lip curling up in a snarl of dislike._

"_Fine!"_

_There was a pause. "Jade, you know—"_

_Jade had groaned loudly, burying her head in her hands._

"_There is no good reason that we shouldn't be able to sit here, and have a conversation!" Jade had been so annoyed at her persistence. _

"_I've got a good reason!" she'd retorted, glaring at Tori balefully. "Which is?" Tori had snorted. "I don't like you!" She fired back. "Really?" she'd asked, disbelief coloring her tone. "You can't think of _one _thing you like about me, Jade West?"_

Don't say my name, Vega, _she'd thought bitterly._ _"I like when you're sad," she said hopefully, wishing she were back at home... anywhere else. Anything but this… questionnaire. She actually hated when Tori was sad. The mood always infected her, too. She convinced herself that it wasn't because she cared for Tori._

_Tori had sighed, obviously losing patience. "Okay. Try again. Reach deep down into your twisted, bitter soul and see if you can find _anything_ good to say about me."_

"_Hmm," she said, thinking of a good trait, "Okay. Uh, your singing isn't…. awful."_

"_Thanks so much." Tori had said sarcastically. "Now let's hear you say something nice about me," she said, genuinely curious._

"_Sure," she said. "I admire how you're not afraid to say what you think." "That's stupid!" she had retorted._

"See_?" Tori had responded, a grin on her face. "Now, your turn again."_

Tori had said something soon after that Jade never stopped thinking about. It hovered in her mind, always there, day and night. Why did she always think about it? It was infuriating. Especially because it had come from those always grinning lips, that smooth face with the high cheekbones and eyes like sunlight shafting into a still pond...

"_I guess some people might say that, from… certain angles…. You're pretty." Jade had said. Even if she resented it, she had meant it sincerely. Nothing had ever been more true. "Um, thanks?" Tori had replied, obviously not expecting that._

"_You could say I'm pretty."_

"_You are pretty." Her sworn enemy had said, and the pure honesty had thrummed in her voice, and it gave Jade a thrill she hadn't felt in… well, ever._

She was snapped out of it when Tori spoke from the couch. "Well? Your idea?"

Jade crouched down to Tori's level, ignoring the peal of butterflies that stirred her stomach as Tori's eyes lit in interest. "Here, listen up, Vega…."

Half an hour later, she left, feeling warmer than before. Tori had loved the idea and hugged her profusely, (To which Jade had stood still as a statue in her embrace) after both of them planning to meet up an hour before the performance on the stairs.

Jade's idea was to get Andre's music teacher to raise his grade by singing the song Andre had written. With Jade, Cat, and Tori, it should sound excellent—enough to get Andre an A.

"_Jade, that's genius! Andre will love it."_

"Obviously_. I'm not an idiot."_

"_Thanks a lot, Jade. Really. You're a good friend… even if we do butt heads sometimes."_

_She had smiled a huge sincere smile, and with a goodbye Jade had left, into the cold and snowy night._

"God, Jade, stop being so happy… you hate Tori, remember?" she said to herself, unable to stop thinking of the feeling of Tori's arms around her. "Snap out of it, West!"

Jade had never felt this way before. It was so different for her... so warm and glowing. She knew it wasn't hate. No, it was far from it. But she refused to admit that. As if not thinking about it could make it go away. "Stupid Tori Vega!" Jade snarled, cutting the engine as she pulled, suddenly hungry, into Nozu's sushi bar. "Dear Lord… what it is about her?" She ran cold fingers through her snow-dusted hair, shaking the flakes melted on her fingers, making them colder than ever, like she was made of bendable and breakable ice. Grabbing her purse from the console, she crunched through ice to the front door, where buttery yellow light spilled through.

Her heart clenched painfully as she saw the stage where Tori and her had sung 'Take A Hint' to those obnoxious twits that had been hitting on them.

_As if they had a chance, _she thought sourly, her mouth twisting into a grimace. _Idiots. _She sat on a cold wooden seat, her hands automatically clenching into frustrated fists. _I hate Tori. But I don't. How can that be? God… it's so frustrating. _She slammed her fist on the table, nearly upsetting her water and making the ice cubes rattle ominously.

_You don't hate Tori, _a voice squeaked in her mind. _Jade, you—_

She cut off the thought immediately. "No," she said to herself, banishing the thought before it even completed itself. "You hate Vega. That's it. That's all there will be. Final."

So why did her heart thud when she saw Tori? Tori, and her always smiling face, her sadness when Jade scorned her, her willingness to forgive and let be? Why was she so cruel to the girl, like she was masking something else…?


	2. Shattered

CHAPTER TWO

Tori pushed into Hollywood Arts, her dress for the performance hugging her tightly. It made her break into a slight sweat, beads of water rolling down her palms, and her stomach churned as she saw Cat wearing a tacky reindeer costume.

_It _is _Cat, _she reminded herself. _What else would she wear? _

"Hiii~!" Cat giggled, bouncing over, the reindeer antlers swaying back and forth. "Are you ready, Cat? Got all the lyrics?"

Cat nodded. "I even decorated!" She chirped, gesturing around herself.

The stairs were covered in tinsel and ribbon, and a tree dominated the main staircase. "That's great, Cat! Thanks."

"I'm here," a bored voice came from the hallway. "Are you idiots ready?"

"And Jade is just in a lovely mood today," Tori muttered, rolling her eyes. "Yes, of course we are."

Jade emerged from the hall, her teal eyes narrowed. "Did you even _wear _a dress, Vega?"

"Duh. Did you?"

"Unlike some people, I'm not stupid." Her eyes darted to Cat, and Tori ground her teeth, her patience waning. "Obviously I did."

A red, velvet Santa hat was perched on Jade's hair, and Cat wore a set of fake reindeer antlers. Tori could see the red trim of a dress under both of their trench coats and she took a deep breath: this was really happening. She could only hope it worked. Or else she would have to go yodeling with Sikowitz tonight.

She shuddered. Now, _that _was a terrifying prospect.

"Okay, here's the plan. School is opening up in about ten, fifteen minutes. Andre's teacher will be coming out at 10:00 sharp. Everyone else, including Andre, will already be out here. We'll have Beck cut the lights, and I'll do the talking. Then, we sing. Do you both have the stage movements memorized?"

"Again, I'm not stupid, Vega. Did you think I was going to totter around up there like an idiot?"

"Do you ever lay off, Jade?" Tori retorted.

"No. Get used to it." the girl snapped back, her chin tilted up defiantly. Tori noticed a silver chain resting on her sternum, her skin next to it as alike as moonlight against snow.

"I was just making sure. Now both of you get up there, and be ready. This has to be perfect."

"Kay kay!" Cat said cheerfully, quickly bouncing up the stairs. Jade followed at a more leisurely pace, stalking behind. She paused for a split-second to look at Tori, her eyes unreadable. Tori found her gaze held for a while longer, confusion hammering against her chest, like a bird trying to escape the ribcage. She felt a hot flush rise in her cheeks and she was the first to look away, her eyes finding the scuffed floor. Tori turned on her PearPhone, sending a quick text to Beck.

_Are you ready to cut the lights and turn on the new ones?  
-Tori_

_Yeah, of course. You guys out on the stairs?_

_-Beck_

_Yup. It starts in seven minutes. Be ready._

_-Tori_

Ok.  
-Beck

Tori turned off the phone, stuffing it in her boot. She looked up, seeing Jade quickly change her gaze to the lockers.

**********

The halls were milling with all the students of Hollywood Arts. Tori turned as Cat gasped and tapped her shoulder, pointing at Anthony, Andre's teacher.

"There's Robbie with Andre's teacher!"

"Hurry! Go, go!" Tori hissed, getting them into position. She coughed, adjusting her mike, and then she called out in a magnified voice.

"Hey, Anthony!" The teacher looked up in surprise, and Tori decided to start the show. Everyone was looking her way. Clearing away her nervousness, she spoke as cheerfully as she could.

"Okay. So, you guys know Anthony, one of Hollywood Arts awesome music teachers?"

"Yeah! Here he is, to my right." Rex yelled out. Tori gave a quick thumbs up to Robbie, and he nodded, grinning ear to ear.

"Well," she said, very aware of Jade's eyes on her, "Earlier this week, he gave Andre Harris a _D _on a Christmas song he wrote as a project. And, well, I just don't think that's very fair."

She heard Andre whimper, his eyes downcast as he shook his head. "Aw man, now _everybody _knows!"

Tori grinned mischievously at Andre and then turned back to the crowd, adjusting her mic and smiling broadly at the crowd. "So we thought you guys should hear Andre's Christmas song and decide for yourself if that grade was appropriate," she finished. In unison, they all pulled off their trench coats, revealing bright red Christmas dresses, amidst whoops from the crowd.

Tori snorted, thinking of how there would be many happy perverts watching them.

Well, why not give them a show?

At the same moment, the lights cut and Tori silently thanked Beck for actually doing his part. Cheery trumpet and bell music rang out, and Tori took a breath, launching into the first stanza. Her voice rang out, and she smiled. She loved singing—it felt so natural.

"_Christmas singing, sleigh bells a-ringing_

_It's that time of year_

_Everyone's toasting, chestnuts a-roasting Christmas time is here."_

She danced back a few steps, still singing. They all alternated verses for a bit, finally moving into the stage stuff. She could hear Cat and Jade singing too, and she was very impressed how their voices complemented hers.

_They're such good singers, _she thought briefly, her mind full of lyrics. _I'll have to tell them._

"_Candy canes and mistletoe, Jack Frost nipping at your nose~"_

She turned to Jade, tapping the girl's nose with her finger. Jade's eyes flashed blue and she bit at Tori's finger, a smirk curling her lips. Tori danced away, closing up the song with a few more stanzas. The cheers were almost deafening.

After everyone had finally stopped clapping, Tori took a step to the top stair, looking down at Andre, and then Anthony.

"So, what did _you _think? Are you going to change Andre's grade to… perhaps an A?"

"Well…"

Tori smiled winningly, and Anthony's face softened.

Anthony nodded. "An A it is." He and Andre clapped hands.

Tori turned, grinning at Cat and Jade. They all hugged Andre, and she sighed. It was over, and it was good. Everyone was… well, in Christmas cheer.

"I have to admit, Vega, that your singing wasn't bad."

"That's like telling me I'm a god of music, coming from you, Jade."

Tori put her feet up on the table, popping a pretzel in her mouth. It was the day after Christmas, with snow silently falling. She had invited Jade and Cat over after school to hang out and just talk. To her surprise, Jade had accepted. And she was being decent. _I guess everyone is nice sometimes, _she thought. _After all, it is the holidays._

"TORI!" A screech came from the stairs.

"What?!" she yelled back, leaning over the back of the sofa to see Trina, looking furious.

"You stole my boots!"

"I did not!" Tori protested.

"Then where are they?"

Tori ground her teeth. "Try," she hissed, "Checking your room."

Trina flounced up the stairs, grunting angrily. "They better be in there!"

Tori leaned back, sighing through her nose. "Why did I have to get the most annoying sister on the planet?"

"At least you don't have a brother who is in jail," Cat piped up, munching a huge bag of bibble.

Jade rolled her eyes. "I don't like to admit it, Tori, but I actually hate Trina way more than you."

"That's a surprise." Tori snorted, flipping through her phone. "Did you honestly just say you hate me less than someone else?"

Jade smirked. "Don't worry, Vega. You're still really annoying. I doubt that'll ever change. But I do hate a lot of things."

"Don't you make videos of stuff you hate and post it on the Slap?" Cat asked. "Because you hate a lot of things. Like… uh… like a million. Ducks, old people, buzz cuts, flowers, panties, the word moist—"

"You watch that old thing?"

"Yes," Tori and Cat said simultaneously.

Tori broke in. "I didn't think it was possible to hate so many things."

Jade rocked forward on her heels. "Trust me, when you've seen as much as me, you'll get to hating a lot."

"Why?"

"Personal reasons," she said, grinning evilly. "Some of my most hated things are shrimp with tails, yellow, birthday parties, Santa, hot dogs with ketchup—man, I _hate those_—aloe vera, sisters who look alike—" 

"So _that's _why you hate me and Trina!" 

"I- I never thought about it," she said, seemingly caught off guard.

"Then why do you hate me, exactly?"

Tori felt the air chill with tension when the words left her lips, and the atmosphere got very stiff.

"I don't want to talk about this right now, Vega." 

Tori gave her a look, and Jade returned it, haughtily raising an eyebrow in challenge.

"Yeah, Jade," Cat said, her voice still as high and clueless as ever, "Tori's nice and you shouldn't hate nice people…"

Jade heaved a breath, something flickering in her eyes, and glared cuttingly at the red-head. "It's time," she murmured under her breath, and Tori was sure she shouldn't have heard. Then Jade looked up. "Cat, leave. _Now." _

"But I—"

"Hey Cat, look!" Jade interrupted her. "There's a huge bag of bibble outside! Go get it!"

Cat squealed and dashed outside, slamming the door behind her.

"Won't she get hypothermia?" Tori asked, concerned.

"I left my car unlocked. She can use what little sense she has and get in." Jade crossed to the door and locked it. Then she turned, running a hand through her hair… looking very unlike her usual prickly self. Rather, she looked weary and confused.

"Why did you send her outside?" Tori queried, tilting her head in confusion.

Jade frowned, a deep line furrowing between the slant of her eyebrows. "Because."

"Jade, earlier— before we did the performance-you were looking at me. And you weren't giving me the 'death glare' as usual."

Jade's eyes lost their typical icy stare and were replaced with raw, hopeless misery, the sadness piercing Tori to the core.

"I don't hate you," she said quietly, sitting back on the couch. "At least, not anymore. I can't hate you. Not when you're still good to me even after I treat you like crap."

"Not always," Tori argued. "You're good to me sometimes."

"That's bullshit." Jade scoffed disbelievingly. "Anyways… no, Vega, I don't hate you."

Tori was astounded that Jade—sarcastic, belittling, angry, dark Jade—was saying all this to her. But this was a whole different side to the girl Tori had thought was just dark and goth, nothing more. But now…

"Jade," she said softly, "I know you can't always have been this way. Something made you so… so prickly. No one is so completely cold… so bitter, so emotionless. I know it's not my place to ask, but… Can you tell me…?"

Jade's head snapped up, her eyes regaining some of their cold fire. Then it died, and a shadowed look replaced it. Tori started in alarm and guilt as she realized the girl had tears pooling in her eyes.

Jade angrily wiped a hand across her face, smearing her makeup. The eyes were bloodshot, as though she hadn't slept in days. "God, I hate crying. If you tell anyone what I'm going to tell you, I will use my scissors and decapitate you within the week. It won't be pretty, Vega. I wouldn't tell you, but there isn't anyone else. Cat's spacey, Andre and I aren't really friends, Robbie's a weirdo and a wimp, Beck…" Her hands clenched. "I— I can't go to him anymore. But you… you'll understand. Even if only a little." 

Tori was at a loss of words. Jade stood up and started pacing. "I wouldn't be able to tell you when I became this way. I just turned like this one day after _it _happened. No one knew why, because I haven't told anyone. Not my family… Not anyone." Her hands started shaking.

"Jade, this sounds really cheesy, and I hate cheesiness, but you can trust me. I know you don't like me, but I admire you—"

"Yeah, okay. Don't get all poetic on me. This happened four years ago. I'm over it. So I don't want your sympathy, Vega, or your pity. If you tell anyone—"

"You'll take off my head while I'm asleep. Got it." Tori smiled weakly.

"Yes. Remember that I'm fine." Her eyes told the opposite. Whatever it was, she most certainly wasn't "fine".

"I was thirteen. Just the age when I was starting to think about acting professionally. I lived here, in Los Angeles. I've always lived here. So many goddamn memories that I hate are buried in this place…" Tori took Jade's trembling hand, urging her to go on. The girl shook off her hand. Tori was worried about how icy cold Jade's touch was, like there was no heat in her.

"It was snowing pretty badly, and everyone was at home, because snow is rare here. I was walking home from a session at theatre." She laughed bitterly. "What a coincidence that acting is what caused this."

Tori made a helpless noise.

The dark haired girl cut in. "Shut up, Vega. It was dark out. I was sure I'd be fine, because everyone would be inside cause of the cold. God, how wrong I was. If only I had just turned and run everything— everything— would be different now. Anyways, I was just walking along, when someone grabbed me from behind." Tears were silently sliding down her cheeks, her face pale and hair livid against the white skin. "I fucking hate saying this. I hate him for doing this to me!" Her voice cracked, rising in a wail, and her hands were balled into fists.

"Jade, it's okay, please just go on," Tori whispered, placing a hand on her violently shaking arm. Jade was swallowing, clenching her fists like there was an enemy in front of her. Maybe in her memories, there was. "The guy put a knife to me. I can still feel the metal on my neck, that cold metal, and there's a scar there. He told me to go with him, or I'd die. What choice did I have? I should've let him kill me," she added, bitterness cloaking her voice. "I went. He… he pinned me down in a sheltered alley, and he took off my clothes, and tied me up and… and he…"

She couldn't talk anymore, she was choking on her sobs, her head falling into her hands as her body shook, spasming as she cried, pain seeping from her.

"Jade, Jade… shh, it's okay, no one will hurt you now… I'm here, Jade. I'm here."

Tori took the sobbing girl into her arms, holding her as she relived her terrible trauma, all her darkness and toughness stripped away to reveal what she was… a broken down person, with no one to hear her. No one to understand.

Tori arranged Jade as she stopped crying, now completely silent. But her eyes let Tori know that she couldn't see the Vega house—she was lost in her terrible pain still, and the Latina pulled a quilt over her.

"Just stay here, Jade. I promise I'll come back in a little while." Tori wasn't even sure Jade had heard; she was shaking and still not all there. Slipping out the door into the snow, Tori saw Cat in Jade's car, shivering and looking disappointed.

"Jade _lied!" _Cat said angrily as soon as Tori got in the car. "There was no bibble at all! And she locked the house so I almost froze to death!"

"Jade is inside. She… uh… she got a stomach bug and she can't drive, so she's staying at my place for now." Tori hoped the lie was believable; she couldn't tell Cat what had truly transpired. Cat was like a five year old trapped in a sixteen year old body—she probably wouldn't even understand what Jade had gone through. Tori actually wasn't sure if the bubbly girl would even would get the concept.

As Tori drove back to Cat's house, not even hearing the red-head's endless chatter, she couldn't stop thinking. How wrong she had been about the raven-haired girl who was always picking on her. How terribly, terribly wrong. Jade wasn't mean or cruel, mocking or bullying, she was shattered and misunderstood. The prickliness had all gone to reveal a person so … so utterly fallen apart.

"Jade West, I swear I'll do whatever it takes to heal you," she vowed under her breath.

_Whatever it takes, I swear to God these wounds will die._

*********

After she had driven through the swirls of snow and ice and pulled back into her own driveway, she crunched through slush to the front door, pulling it open. Jade was still on the couch, but sitting up now, her eyes burning with dark fire as she stared at her hands.

"Jade?" Tori said quietly, pushing the door shut.

Jade instantly looked up, eyes clearing and her features flinching away slightly, and the sight of her so different broke Tori's heart. Never had she thought she'd want the mean, sarcastic, awful Jade back. At least that person had been solid, real, or so she thought. But now…

"Jade," she said tentatively, "Are… are you okay?"

Then the dark clouds cleared, replacing with a familiar icy blue-green glare. Jade coughed in her hand, her face distinctly embarrassed. "Thanks for the listening ear, Vega, but I'm out of here." 

"W-what?" Tori stammered.

"I said," she responded slowly, her eyes narrowed, "That I'm leaving." Then she snatched up her bag and pushed past Tori, her hands still trembling faintly, her face pale, white as the snow that spiraled outdoors.

"Jade, what the hell?" Tori darted past the other girl and stood, blocking the front door. "You just… I don't know, told me your deepest secret, and now you're just _leaving?" _

"I shouldn't have told you. Let it go. Forget it." Her chin trembled as she jutted it forward in defiance. 

"No, Jade, I'm not going to _let it go. _You need to—"

"Ooooh_, Jade, you need to stay here," _Jade mocked, imitating Tori's plea. "Vega, get out of the way. Now."

"No. And I don't talk like that!"

Jade stuttered. "N-no? Are you seriously going to keep me captive?"

"Yes."

Jade stepped forward threateningly, brandishing her scissors. "Vega, if you don't get out of the way…"

Tori raised her chin defiantly. "Go ahead, Jade West. Cut me to pieces on the floor. Go to town, because you won't do it. I know you better than you think."

Jade was nose to nose with her in a second. "Vega," she breathed dangerously, "You know _nothing _about me. And you don't want to, not an innocent one like you. Get out of the way. I'm not saying it again." Jade pulled out her scissors, holding them firmly by Tori's hand.

Tori closed her eyes. "No." Jade's chest was heaving. "Alright then. You give me no choice—" With that, the raven haired girl grabbed Tori by the shoulders and swung her bodily away from the door, almost throwing her down to the ground. Tori stumbled and fell, hard, as she slammed backward into the table, catching her forehead on the corner. When she looked up, Jade had gone, emptiness in her place.

Tori scrambled up, rubbing a sore spot on her temple and feeling heat emanate from the now forming bruise. Blood welled under her trembling fingers, and she pulled them away to see red blossoming on the pale skin like a crimson flower. That had been so unlike Jade, who was all bark and no bite. Had she really felt…. Scared? Of Tori?

Touching a shaking hand to her face, she realized tears were sliding down her cheeks.

Tears and blood.

Tori placed a hand over the dark shadow of a bruise on her face from where she had crashed into the table. She had claimed it to tripping on a shoe to Trina, but she didn't think her sister believed the lie. No amount of makeup would cover it, so she gave up, leaving for school with her head down.

What she'd do when she saw Jade, she had no idea. Especially with this thing on her temple. "Hey, chica!" Andre greeted her when she walked into school. "How are—woah, what happened to you?"

Tori rolled her eyes. "Is it that noticeable?"

"Yeah. Looks like Trina threw a boot at your face."

"Uh—uh, yeah. That's exactly what happened." She said gratefully, seizing the excuse.

"Well, I'd be ready for a day of Jade teasing you about it, huh?" Andre chuckled good-naturedly, throwing his hands apart.

Tori forced out a laugh. "Yeah, I bet."

"Tori!"

The girl whirled. "What? Huh?" 

Cat was walking with Robbie toward her and Andre. "What happened to your _face?" _Robbie gaped.

"I got into a massive brawl and won," she drawled sarcastically. "No—not really. Trina got into a hissy fit and threw a boot at me." _I have to admit, Trina _would _do that. _She thought, shrugging slightly as Robbie eyed her disbelievingly.

"Must have been a heavy boot. Anyways, Sikowitz won't be happy about that."

"Why?"

"We're doing Improv and he hates having people who look… um, odd, on stage." Robbie said. "Yeah, and that thing is pretty big. I didn't think Trina had enough muscle to lift a feather, let alone a boot—" Rex piped up. "Shut up!" hissed Robbie, seeing Trina approach from the halls.

"Looks like Vega got into a street fight!" A familiar voice, one she'd been dreading, came from her right. "What a surprise."

Tori turned slowly to see Jade, her eyes conveying words clear as if she'd spoke: _Don't tell them what really happened, Vega, or you're dead._

"I need to talk to you." Jade grabbed Tori by the hand and jerked her across the hall into the janitor's closet, ignoring the confused looks from Andre, Cat, and Robbie.

"What do you want?" Tori asked acidly, harshly, as soon as the door was closed. "Here to tell me to keep my mouth shut? Or to shove me again?" Jade winced, her eyes avoiding Tori's. 

"Tori, listen… I'm sorry. I didn't think I would hurt you…"

"Well, you did." Tori spat, feeling unusually angry. "Jade, if all you want to do is beat me up with your insults after you opened up, go ahead. Just don't delude yourself into thinking I'll listen again, not if this is how you act."'

Jade took a step back as if Tori had struck her. "I didn't mean to throw you into the table, you idiot! I was only trying to get away- you made me feel trapped, and… and I just couldn't deal with it. I realized after I was already home that I could have really hurt you, but it was snowing too hard to go back, and my PearPhone was broken, so…"

Tori was silent, and then she spoke softly. "I'm not mad. I just think you need someone to lean on." Then she looked directly into Jade's eyes. "What you went through broke you, Jade. I want—I _have—_to help you. Don't give me that crap about how you're over it; you're not, anyone can see it."

Jade gave her a long look. Then she said a single sentence—"Nozu's, 8:00, tonight. Don't be late."

Then she was gone, slamming the door behind her, and leaving Tori alone with only her hammering heart and limp hands to accompany her.


	3. Opening Doors

CHAPTER THREE

I'm so thrilled at all the feedback Heal has gotten! Your reviews mean a lot to me, and each one makes me write faster: it's a scientifically proven fact. I LIVE off reviews xD :)

Thanks!

Jade stalked through the halls, her hands clenched around a cup of coffee. She loved coffee, one of the few things in her life she was fond of. There weren't many.

Tori's angry face kept swimming through her mind, and guilt plagued her as she saw the bruise _she _had caused on the girl's face. Pain had kept fleeting across her features, as if the shove had hurt her more than she was letting on.

_I didn't shove her that hard, did I?_

Then she remembered how forcefully she had pushed, the image of blood swelling across and spilling down in scarlet streams, and her hands tightened around the warm cup until they stung with heat.

She pushed open the door to Skiowitz's class, dropping into her seat. She was well aware of nervous glances thrown at her, but she ignored them, setting her jaw angrily.

"Alright, alright!" Sikowitz shouted, clapping loudly as he entered the room. "As most of you know, we're doing Improv today. I want Cat, Beck, and Andre up on the stage."

Jade heaved a breath of relief as she wasn't picked, and then she frowned as she realized her coffee was all gone. She tossed the cup in the trash and turned her attention to the stage, thoughts still racing.

"Alphebetical Improv time! The scene: Andre, you've gotten into a fight at school. Cat, you're the mom, and you're mad at Andre for fighting. Beck, you're the dad, and you're trying to calm Cat down. Action!"

Andre thought for a few moments, and then put on an indignant face.

"All I'm saying is that I didn't start it, Mom!" Andre said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"But you still got in a fight," Cat said, rearranging her face into a half-angry expression. It looked more like she was constipated than mad, Jade thought with a smirk.

"Cat, it's okay. He was probably just defending himself." Beck reminded her.

"Don't worry, Mom, I'm okay, really." Andre said pleadingly.

"Exactly my point! That means you fought and won so you'll be suspended from school." Cat shot back.

"Fights always happened at my school," Beck said, placing a hand on Cat's shoulder.

"Yeah, they did—" Andre said.

"Andre, off the stage!" Sikowitz cut in, sipping from a coconut. "Your letter was _G."_

Andre swore under his breath as he hopped off the stage, his hair swinging forward to shield his eyes. Jade smirked at him. "Smooth job, Harris."

"Shut up, Jade."

Jade cocked an eyebrow at him, her eyes icy and a dangerous, predatory grin on her face. "I- I mean," Andre said, backtracking immediately, "Uh, sorry."

Improv ended soon after, with the bell clanging loudly. Jade pushed past everyone, her eyes downward. 

"Jade!"

She turned, eyes searching for whoever had called. To her surprise and displeasure, it was Beck.

"What do you want, Oliver?" she snapped, still walking. Beck jogged up beside her, keeping pace with her quick stride.

"Something's up, Jade. What is it?"

"What do you mean?" She growled, turning sharply on a heel to face him. His eyebrows slanted downward in a sharp frown, brown dappled hair casting a pale shadow over his usually warm eyes.

"Tori showed up today with a bruise on her face. You look guilty every time you so much as glance at her. You went to talk to her in the janitor's closet when usually you try and avoid her as much as possible. She's acting different to you, too. I know when something's off. So what is it?"

"You want to know what it is?" Jade asked coldly.

Beck nodded, looking expectant.

"It's none of your business." She fired back curtly, spinning around stalking off, and leaving a confused Beck behind.

The day ended quickly, most of it a blur for her. She was dreading the meeting at eight but anticipating at the same time.

Tori was like a drug. Dangerous and addictive. And if there was anything that Jade was, it was dangerous.

She needed risk to spice up her life, and she would get it.

After the day had ended and she was done with everything, it was 7:45. She was currently driving down the freeway, music blaring as she cleared her thoughts.

She had to apologize.

She felt extremely guilty that she had basically injured and embarrassed Tori. She could have been hurt even more—Jade was at least thankful all she had caused was a bruise, and not a broken arm. She felt her phone buzz sharply, and she threw a quick glance at it.

"Why is Tori calling?" She murmured, taking a sharp right onto Hols Avenue. She grabbed her phone and slid the 'Answer' button, crooking it between her ear and shoulder, an unaware, genuine smile coming in as Tori's voice rang quite clearly in her ear.

"What do you want, Vega?" she shouted over the roar of other cars.

"I'm at Nozu's, where are you?"

"My my, didn't you get there early? Just can't wait to see me, can you?" Jade smirked. "Get a table and order. I'll be there in five."

Jade hung up, turned down the music, and cruised down the road. Before she pulled into the restaurant parking lot, she flipped back her hair, which was mussed from the wind, and applied a fresh layer of chapstick. Then she cut the ignition and hopped from the car, the chilly wind carrying a frosty edge as she strode toward the restaurant.

"There you are," Tori said as Jade let the door slam behind her. The girl had been leaning against the entryway wall. "I've been waiting for ten minutes."

"I said eight, it's only—" Jade checked the time—"Only 7:50. Why here so early, huh?"

"I always get to things early," Tori said, looking strangely uncomfortable. "It's habit."

"Yeah, whatever, let's get a table."

The two of them picked a two-seater table by the exit and Tori laced her fingers together. "Well?" she prompted, "Why am I here?"

"Don't act like nothing's changed," Jade snapped, and then she instantly felt bad as Tori recoiled slightly.

"Sorry," she backtracked, softening her tone. "Like you said, we need to talk. I've been blocking you out."

"I'd realized." Tori snorted, her eyes resting on Jade. They looked like they were scanning her, looking for chinks in the armor that was Jade West, and that made her break into a slight sweat.

"So, ask away. I can't guarantee an answer to all your questions, though." Jade said, leaning back in her chair.

To her surprise, Tori shrugged. "There's nothing to ask, Jade… what would I ask?"

"Chizz, Vega, are you seriously that dumb? You might ask why I've been running scared this whole time, why I told you, stuff like that."

"I know the answers to those," Tori said in a genuine, earnest voice. "You've been running scared because it was weird having me know something about you that was real for once, and you told me… Wait, actually I don't know why you told me. So… why?"

"Something changed," Jade said, leaning forward and locking eyes with Tori. "Something changed, Vega, on Christmas Eve. And I didn't know what it was, why it had… but I needed to get it out. And I thought, hell, why not you? Beck wouldn't understand, and he would act all sweet, which I didn't want, Andre and I aren't close enough for that, Robbie is an idiot, my family is insane, and Cat probably doesn't even know what rape is."

"I admire how you can just say it like that," Tori commented, sipping from her water with an eyebrow raised. Jade noticed with a pang of relief that the bruise was fading to little more than a pale shadow. "Most would be traumatized. But you, you're… at least hiding your pain. I don't know if that's good or bad."

"I've got an answer for you," Jade snapped. "It's bad. But anyways, I was saying… You aren't a complete dimwit. I felt you'd understand, if even only a little."

"I do." Tori leaned forward, locking eyes intensely with Jade and making her lightheaded. "A lot more than I expected, actually."

"Tori, if you had to describe me in one word, what would it be?" Jade said suddenly, the question falling from her lips without thought. She was scared of the answer. It would surely be prickly, dark, sassy, mean, cruel— something like her. And it would hurt, coming from Tori.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and fiddled with the straw, listening for the answer as Tori fumbled for an answer.

"Hmm," Tori said, looking thoughtful, "It would be exciting. Exciting or beautiful."

"Why that? I'm not an exciting person." Jade muttered, fiddling with her drink. "And I'm not as pretty as you." It was a rare, vulnerable moment that Jade showed, truth lacing her words, one that made Tori cough in surprise.

"Not that kind of exciting," Tori corrected her. "More like the chaotic kind. And Jade, for the second time, yes, you are pretty. I'm average, but you… This sounds weird, but I can see why Beck loves— loved? you."

Jade made a noncommittal noise, choosing to ignore the comment about Beck. "I guess. Usually people say I'm bitter or dark."

"Sometimes you are, but not always. Jade, you know that I hardly know anything about you, even though we've known each other for almost two years now?"

"Tori, you don't want to know me." Jade snorted. "You don't need my crap of a life leaking into your own."

"But I want to know you," Tori replied honestly.

"I don't want a companion to my misery, Vega. Drop it."

"You could at least tell me about yourself, even a little," Tori persisted.

"Fine," Jade snapped. "My favorite color is black. My favorite song is 'Safe and Sound'. Favorite animal is a wolf. What else?" 

"I didn't mean little stuff like that—wait, why do you like that song?"

Jade tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "Why shouldn't I?"

"I don't know, it's actually a good song… not dark, I guess, and I didn't think…"

"That I would like a song like that?" Jade finished.

"Uh, yeah." Tori shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, I do. Surprise, surprise, I'm not a total gank all the time."

Tori chuckled. "I'm starting to realize that."

"What else?"

Tori folded her arms. "Um, what about your family?"

"My family?" Jade said, and Tori thought she could hear nervousness in the girl's voice.

"Yes."

"I have a little brother," Jade said coldly. "I haven't seen him in months. I live on my own now."

"I'm sorry," Tori whispered, placing a hand on Jade's. Her fingers were shaking ever so slightly.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Jade muttered. "I don't think you would understand. You… you've got a _happy _family."

Tori frowned. "I don't think having Trina as a sister counts as happy."

Jade said nothing, only stirred her drink, eyebrows curling downward in a sharp frown. When she looked up, her face was iced over again.

"I'm here… you know, if you do ever want to talk. Or if you want to vent."

Jade looked up, and the intensity of her eyes startled Tori. "I don't vent. I let it build up. And let's just say this, Vega," she added simply, "If I ever find the people who made me like this, they will be feeling my pain for a _long _time, and that's a promise. Now, Vega…"

"Yeah?"

"Let's go back to my place. I'm getting sick of the reek of fish here." Jade said curtly, slamming a 5$ on the table and shoving back her chair.

"Uh, Jade… you completely sure about that?"

"Yes. Why?" she said, her eyes narrowed.

"It's… well, I didn't think you'd want me at your place." Tori said nervously. "I mean… you don't exactly like me."

"I changed my mind," Jade answered coldly, making Tori freeze in surprise. "Come on."


	4. Moments

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, sadly, nor do I own the lyrics to Safe and Sound (the one by Megan Nicole!) WHICH is a beautiful song. **

**If you want to hear a song from Tori to Jade, listen to 'You Are The Moon' by the Hush Sound. It's literally perfect for these two! Or, A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, which also is Tori to Jade. Go listen to them now-before you start reading!**

**And, if you want a video that is literally MADE for Heal, go on YouTube right now. Look up 'I Know I Could Love You if we Try', and add 'Jade and Tori' in your keywords. Then watch the beauty :)**

**And I think we all know that Jori is probably the best OTP that ever existed. I mean c'mon it's perfect :D**

**I can't wait until I get to stick 'em together for all the Jori fluff and stuff ;)**

Tori tapped her fingers nervously against the side of Jade's car as the world outside rushed past.

"No!" Jade shouted, slamming the brakes on a red light.

Tori snatched her fingers back from the car. "Sorry."

Jade snorted and turned sharply, screeching the brakes. "Here we are. Get out of my car."

Tori scrambled out of the car, her eyes widening in wonder at the building before her. "You live here?"

"Yeah, I do. Got a problem with that?"

"N- no, it's just—"

"A nice place?" Jade smirked, her eyes arching upward, the moon glinting off the studs by her eyebrow. "Were you expecting me to live in some run down hutch? Or a tent on a roadside?"

"What— no! I was expecting something a little more… you know. Jade-like."

"You mean dark and uninviting?" Jade flashed a rare grin. "It is, trust me. You haven't seen the inside. Come on."

When they walked through the front door, Tori was impressed, and as Jade had predicted, not surprised. There was a bedroom, a small kitchenette linked to a living room, and a bathroom. It was small and simple, but it was clearly Jade's; the whole place had that Gothic, night-soul feel. A dark sofa was pushed against the wall, a case of scissors was on the wall, and the whole place was just so… unlit. The only light was a lamp in the corner, currently glowing feebly.

Tori jumped and screamed as something brushed against her leg. She leaped on the sofa, peering into the darkness.

"What the hell, Vega?!" Jade snapped. "There are other people in this building who probably don't appreciate your screaming!"

"Something touched me!" Tori spat back, glowering at Jade. "Please tell me you've got a pet or something—"

"Oh, yes." Jade grinned cruelly, "I've got a tarantula. He must've gotten loose from the cage again—"

Tori whimpered and pulled her limbs even more tightly against her hammering chest.

"Chill, Vega. I was joking. Yeah, I've got a cat. He's black, so you wouldn't have seen him."

Just as she spoke, two bright blue-green eyes glowed at her from the floor. Tori heaved a relieved sigh.

"Not funny, Jade!"

"It wasn't intended to be," Jade said softly. She padded over, her feet soundless on the carpet, and scooped up the cat, sitting down by Tori. "So what do you think?"

"Nice place you've got here. How do you afford it?"

Her voice grew cold, closed off. "My dad pays it off."

"Nice of him," she said carefully, the cat purring loudly as she rubbed its ears.

Jade scoffed and mumbled an argument about her dad, her voice growing louder as she glanced at Tori's finger's brushing the cat's ear.

"Odd. He doesn't usually like strangers," Jade commented, running her fingers against the dark fur. Her fingers glowed starkly pale against the pitch-black pelt, like the moon radiating from her skin.

"His eyes are the same color as yours," Tori noticed. "And your hair is black like his."

"Well, aren't you just a smart one today?" Jade muttered dryly. "That's why I bought him. I wanted company." Her voice grew sad. "It gets lonely around here, even for me."

"I'm sorry," Tori said, her heart aching for her friend. "What's his name?"

"Tawny. Like Tawny Walker Black from the Scissoring." Her voice was full of contempt, like she should have known that.

"He's adorable," Tori said quietly, running her hand along the cat's back. It purred, the sound rumbling in the silent apartment. "So why am I here, exactly?"

"He won't be so adorable when he rips your face off." Jade didn't answer her question. Instead, she stood. "We didn't eat at Nozu's. You hungry?"

"Yeah, kind of, but you don't need to make me anything—"

"It's fine. I've got enough food."

Tori shrugged. "Okay… Thanks a lot." As if to punctuate her words, her stomach grumbled loudly.

"How does frozen pizza sound?"

"If you cook it, it sounds great. What brand is it?"

"DiGiorno," Jade replied, rummaging in her freezer and emerging with a large cheese pizza.

"Oh my God, you're awesome. That's my favorite."

Jade made a noncommittal noise and shoved the pizza in the oven, tossing the cardboard over her shoulder. The cat yowled angrily as it smashed next to it.

Jade ignored this and regarded Tori through slitted eyes. She was unnerved by the intensity that blazed through them. They were predatory and cold, but raw emotion was underneath that frosty layer.

"I'm usually able to categorize people," She said finally. "But I can't with you. And that makes me angry."

"That's why you hate— hated me?"

"I suppose so, yes. There are people I hate— Sinjin, he's a damn creeping freak, Trina, she's an annoying, desperate wazzbag, lots and lots of others at HA. I tolerate you, Beck, and Robbie, and once again, lots of others. And I only like Cat and Andre."

"Should I give them an award or something?" Tori snorted. "It'll say, 'Congratulations; you've achieved the impossible. Jade actually likes you!'"

Jade narrowed her eyes, lips thinning into a solitary line. "Vega, just because you're in my house doesn't mean I like you anymore than I usually do—"

The radio had turned on, the announcer's static voice saying, "And now, we hear 'Safe and Sound.' Stay tuned for more new hits on 12.0, The River!"

A song started to play softly, the gentle words striking Tori with the force of a bullet.

_I remember tears streaming down your face  
_

_When I said, "I'll never let you go"_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light_

_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Don't you dare look out your window, darling,_

_Everything's on fire_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on._

_Hold on to this lullaby_

_Even when the music's gone_

_Gone..._

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

_Just close your eyes_

_You'll be alright_

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound..._

"That's a beautiful song," Tori murmured.

"I'd love to sing it sometime," Jade said. Her voice was pained, and Tori was shocked to see, for the second time ever, the beginnings of tears in Jade's eyes. They didn't fall, though.

And Tori realized for the first time that Jade was so, so much more hurt than she was letting on. Something had hurt her more than even the night four years ago…

Something that was clearly eating away at her day by day, acid on metal, corroding and raw and exposed.

"Jade," Tori said boldly, "I want you to tell me about your family."

Jade's eyes clouded instantly, like she was looking back through years' worth of memories, memories dripping with pain and hurt. She was scarred by her past, so clearly damaged, Tori wondered how stupid she'd been not to have seen it before.

"Why do you want to know about that crap?" Jade snapped angrily, turning away.

"I care about you."

Jade turned back toward Tori, a red flush in her face and her words rough with bitterness. "And why? All I've done is treat you like shit."

Tori frowned. "I don't think you do. Not always. Just tell me."

Jade sat down on an chair that swept upward. She draped her arms over the side, her forehead crinkled as she called up all the years of hate and broken ties.

"Fine." Her voice held the traces of surrender. "If it makes you shut up about it, I'll tell you." Waving a noncommittal hand in the air, her jaw set in an angry manner, she said, "My mom, my real one, gave me up for adoption right after I was born. I don't know who she is, and I don't want to; she probably screwed around with someone and decided I was useless after she got pregnant." She laughed, but there was no humor, only anger. "I went to my dad— obviously, not my real one either, and his wife. I loved her. She treated me like a little princess, all the time. Then my dad abused her and I and he divorced her a year later. I was twelve when they divorced. He got, and still has, custody of me; the mom was too scared to fight him." Her voice thickened in fury. "Later on, I knew he wouldn't give a damn that I got raped; he only say it was my own fault, so I didn't tell him. He's an eternal prick, so he did as I expected and married again after the divorce. The new wife, she was horrible, and we hate each other. They fight all the time, and it's a vicious circle of abuse and hate; she kicked me out soon as I turned sixteen. Said I was old enough to live on my own. I got out as fast as I could and I've lived here since…. At least here I don't have to worry about being beaten each day."

Tori immediately leaped from her chair and sat beside Jade. The girl was stiff as a statue, even though her eyes were filled with deep, dark pools of horrible memories.

"Jade… Oh my God… that's horrible. And your dad…" Tori felt anger heat her face and blood rushed to her ears. "How could anyone be such a prick to you? Anyone?" Her heart thumped with anger, heat warming her ears. She felt a sudden urge to find this man and rip him to pieces for hurting Jade.

"I'm not exactly the most innocent and pretty little thing," Jade muttered. "He probably thinks I deserve it. And he isn't wary of hurting people either, he's a scumbag."

"You don't deserve this," Tori said heatedly, her hands finding Jade's shoulders as she turned to face her. "Not any of it. Don't think that. Jade, you're a beautiful person, and don't let anyone tell you differently."

Jade tilted up her head. "I wouldn't dream of it," she said dryly. Then, her tone softening a little, her face flushing slightly, she said, "Tori… thank you for coming over here."

"I was glad to," she replied, and then she blushed as she realized what it sounded like. "I mean— I, uh… I'm glad to help you out."

Jade frowned slightly as the doorbell rang loudly. "Who's that? I'm not expecting anyone."

Tori shrugged, wiping her glasses. "Go check. What's the worse that could happen?"

Jade laughed humorlessly. "It could be a robber or a psychopath serial killer, now that you mention it, out to kill us soon as we let him in."

Tori snorted. "Well, aren't you just a little ray of sunshine?"

Jade swung open the door. Tori flinched, half expecting someone in black to leap in and shoot. What they got, however, was much worse.

"Jadey!"

A little red head bounded into the apartment, bringing with her the strong smell of bubblegum and candy. She jumped onto Jade, who shoved her off, grumbling angrily.

Jade ground her teeth, incensed. "Cat! What the hell are you doing here? It's nine at night—"

"Tori's here," Cat defended herself. "And I'm only here because I'm bored. My brother is at a 'special' hospital and my parents are with him so there's nothing to do except eat bibble and watch TV and I got bored and—"

Tori tilted her head, cutting Cat off before she spontaneously combusted. "Why is he there?"

Cat gave her a long look, as if trying to communicate through a glance. "'Special reasons,'" she said, air-quoting with her fingers. Then her eyes brightened. "I smell pizza!"

Jade swore loudly, making Tori wince at her coarse language, and leaped to the oven. "It almost burned!"

"Chizz! I hate burned pizza." Tori grumbled, fiddling with her hair.

Cat bounced over and perched on a chair. "Why are you here, Tori?"

"Do I have to tell you, Cat?" Tori groaned, folding her hands on the counter.

"Pleaseeeeyyyy!" Cat wailed, her eyes huge and pleading.

Tori struggled to come up with a believable lie. "Uh, er—"

"It's okay, Vega. She knows about the family." Jade said, her back to them as she pulled out the pizza. Then she turned, wiping her forehead, her face unreadable. As she passed Tori, she whispered, feather soft in her ear.

"She doesn't know about before the other incident, though… and don't tell her. She's not mature enough."

Tori dipped her head slightly, signaling she'd heard. "Cat, I'm here because Jade was just telling me about… y'know. Her family."

Cat pouted slightly. "Jadey… I thought you only told me."

"Call me Jadey again, and I'll dump ice down your shirt," Jade snapped, sinking onto chair and tossing Cat and Tori a slice of pizza. "Yeah, I told her. What's the deal?"

Cat looked confused. "But— but you don't like her."

Jade rubbed her temples, her eyes looking very weary. "Cat, there's a big difference between not liking someone, and not trusting someone. I don't like Tori—" Her voice weakened a little here, faltering, wavering as though she didn't believe her own words, "—but I trust her."

Tori felt warmed down to the tips of her toes. "Thanks… I guess?"

Cat started humming loudly and off-key, eliciting a loud screech of "No!" from Jade. Cat pouted but stopped, her eyebrows furrowed in a frown.

"Oh," Cat said, quickly switching topics in her usual bubbly way, "Did you see Beck's update on the Slap?"

Tori noticed Jade's hand clench around her glass of water as she leaned forward slightly, sloshing it. "No."

"Cat," Tori said warningly. She had seen it, and telling Jade would be a very bad idea. "Don't—"

"He's dating someone," Cat said cluelessly.

The reaction was as instantaneous as if someone had dropped a Mento into a can of Coke; Jade stood up sharply, spilling her water, and her knuckles whitened, her eyes narrowing. _"What? _Who is it?!"

Cat shrugged, looking baffled as to why Jade had reacted so angrily. "I don't know."

"Jade, calm down—"

Jade turned, baring her teeth furiously. "Shut up, Vega." Then her features settled back into the same icy mask. "No. It's fine. I don't give a damn who he dates. Let him screw around with everyone in Hollywood Arts, I couldn't care less."

Tori gestured at the door. "Cat… can you leave for a second?"

The perky red head shrugged in confusion but went without a word, humming to herself again, causing a snarl from Jade.

"Why'd you send her out?" Jade frowned, pacing back and forth, restless.

She reminded Tori of a trapped panther. The dark beauty and grace of one, the power and lithe strength that resided underneath the impartial face, the flickering fire that burned so bright under the layer of ice.

Jade argued herself. She was pure light, refusing to die or be crushed beneath the awfulness of her life, living and flaming like an eternal star that would not die. And then her other side, the perplexing side. She was deep and dark like a never-ending trench, unwavering black and dark, unforgiving and cold as ice.

It was so tangled up that Tori doubted she'd ever figure it out… but she'd not stop trying.

Jade had drawn her in, like she was a magnet, and Tori hadn't the resistance to pull out of the circling addiction that was Jade West.

Tori crossed the room to sit on the sofa behind Jade. Eventually she stopped pacing, and the angry look in her eye dimmed to be replaced with sadness.

"It's just great to know he moved on so quickly," Jade said bitterly, sarcasm dripping from her words. "Really makes me feel just indisposable."

She threw her slice of pizza away, hurling it viciously into the trash with a loud thump, a tense muscle flickering in her jaw as she looked at her feet.

"Can I come back in now?" a voice floated from the hallway.

Tori gave Jade a worried look, a subtle crease between her eyebrows. "You can call me anytime you need to, Jade." She offered softly. "I'm here for you."

Then she opened the pane of sanded wood, letting Cat in, breaking the unspoken moment between Jade and herself.

**Tell me in your reviews what you thought of the three songs, and the video!**

I'm well aware this chapter wasn't up to usual standards, but I promise things will be better quality after this. Stay tuned!


	5. Into the Storm

CHAPTER FIVE

Clouds roiled overhead, their thick mottled bellies blocking any trace of sun from leaking through. The flashing sky was like a strange canvas, splattered and streaked with black, blue, gray, and purple. Thunder growled and roared, and lightning flickered like heavenly fire as it webbed the sky in bright bands of white.

A loud crack of thunder, accompanied by the forked tongue of the fire, rumbled through Hollywood Arts. Tori winced as she banged her locker shut, but the howl of the wind skewed the sound from being heard by anyone.

"It sounds like a pack of wolves out there," Andre commented, leaning against the locker opposite Tori. "I sure won't have any fun walking home in this chizz. And any driver is going to wreck themselves."

"Is it really all that bad?" Tori asked helplessly, straining to look through the sweeping sheets of rain that drenched the courtyard.

"Chica, Trina would kill you both trying to drive home in this. I don't know how I'm going to get home." Andre said, shrugging. "As a matter of fact," he added, "No one will be able to drive, it's getting worse. Look, you can't see through the rain now!"

Tori groaned. "What will we do? Stay here until it gets better out?"

"I think that's all we _can _do— Holy chizz!" He exclaimed, his eyes widening.

Tori peered through the window and gasped as she saw a table fly across the courtyard, swept in the claws of the screaming wind.

"Yeah," she said shakily, "I'm not letting Trina take me home."

Andre chortled. "I should think not."

"You scared of the weather, Vega?" A careless laugh came from behind them. Tori whirled angrily, locking eyes with Jade's; deep chocolate meeting icy blue. A smirk played across Jade's pale features, and Tori found herself very irritated that the girl was back to being so iced over and contemptuous. Like nothing had changed.

"Yeah, I am," she snapped. "And if you had any sense, Jade, you'd be scared too."

"Alright, alright, settle down!" A voice interrupted them. Tori looked up in surprise to see Sikowitz standing on top of the stairs. The whole of Hollywood Arts were milling around the lockers, calling home and stretching up their phones to get signal. A huge crash of thunder made Tori flinch again, eliciting a scoff from Jade, which she pointedly ignored.

"For those of you who plan to walk home, that would be a very bad idea," Sikowitz said. "You might get hit by an uprooted tree, and then we'll lose another talent from Hollywood Arts. It's flash-flooding, so until we get further news on the situation, you will have to stay here."

His admission was met by groans and wails of protests, which he ignored, turning away and drinking from a coconut.

Jade swore loudly. "Is he kidding?! We have to stay here until this goddamn storm ends?"

"Well, if you want to go outside and get hit by a flying table—" Tori piped up hopefully, her grin dropping as Jade shot her a look of contempt.

"Hey, Jade," a whispery, rasping voice came from behind them. "I'll stay with you if you're scared of the storm."

Tori spun around, barely suppressing an eye roll as she saw Sinjin smiling hopefully at Jade. The raven-haired girl gave him an icy look that sent him scurrying away within seconds. Tori laughed, and turned it into a cough as Jade glared at her.

"Hey," Andre cut in, worry in his voice. "You two. Look at Cat."

"What?" Tori said, turning. Her heart dropped when she saw Cat slumped against a locker, her head buried in her hands and her hair mussed. She raised her head as they looked, and her eyes were red and bloodshot as though she'd been crying.

Tori gasped and shoved through the students. "Excuse me!"

Jade's method was simpler. She swept out a hand, making several students stagger back as she hit them square in the chest. "Get out of the damn way!"

She was the first to reach Cat, standing imposingly over the red-head and crossing her arms. A scowl played across her face as she looked through hooded, expressionless eyes down at Cat. "Why are you crying?"

Cat looked up, her coffee-brown eyes like a puppy's as she whimpered slightly. Her face flinched erratically as a slam of thunder rumbled through the school, shaking the lockers. Tori gave a Jade a withering look. "Think how scared you get sometimes," she said so only Jade could hear her. "And then you can be a little more sympathetic."

Jade opened her mouth to reply, and then she thought better of it and closed her mouth, her eyes softening slightly as she glanced back at Cat, making her tone kinder as she too crouched by Cat. "What's wrong, kitten?"

"I'm really scared of storms," she said breathlessly, covering her mouth with one hand, her eyes round as moons as lightning flashed through the school. "We used to have them before we moved to Los Angeles, and one of them tore down our house…" She trailed off, whimpering.

Tori laid a hand comfortingly on Cat's knee. "It's okay. I'm sure that won't happen—"

With a sharp buzz, the power cut, plunging them all into darkness. A few startled screams of fear cut off as everyone realized what had happened, and then the hall was lit by the rippling bluish glow of phones.

"Everyone!" Sikowitz's voice rang out. He was illuminated by a brief flash of lightning, and then plummeted back into pitch black and blue light. Tori wrapped an arm around Cat, realizing she was trembling violently and breathing heavily. Tori felt Jade's fingers brush across her arm and then rest there, giving a reassuring squeeze, icy and yet comforting all at once.

"That's my arm," Tori muttered to Jade, figuring she had thought her arm was Cat's.

"I know it is," came the soft reply, leaving Tori baffled. But she turned her attention back to where she thought Sikowitz was standing.

"Everyone, stay calm. Find your friends and camp in the main hallway until the storm is over!" His voice sounded irritated, and Tori stifled a chuckle as she heard him grumbling about how he was out of coconut milk and how he hated having to be stuck in a building with whiny teenagers.

Twisting back around to Cat, she turned on her phone and wedged it under her locker door, casting faint light over the four of them; the glow was wavering and blue and it cascaded down like a waterfall of light. Jade's face looked slightly fearful now, long wavering shadows playing down from her sweeping eyelashes, as if she'd finally realized this was more than just a little rainstorm. Cat was back to crying quietly, and Tori gave Andre a helpless look, which he returned with a shrug and an equally confused look. "I don't know how to deal with crying girls," he muttered.

"Tori? Tori, is that you?"

Tori craned her head to see Beck and Robbie picking their way towards the foursome. Robbie looked terrified, and Beck looked cool and collected, as always, flipping his mop of hair before slumping against the locker beside Cat.

The Latina noticed Jade stiffen beside her, and Tori shook Jade's hand off as it tightened painfully around her arm. She leaned back against her backpack, and they formed a circle.

"Why is my leg damp?" Rex said suddenly. "Robbie, did you pee yourself again?"

"Rex, shut up!" Robbie hissed, embarrassment thickly lacing his words. Jade snorted and moved her hand back to Tori's knee, the always icy fingers surprisingly warm for once. Tori, not even consciously aware of doing it, placed her hand on top of Jade's, mirroring it. When Jade didn't shake her off, her heart beat sped instinctively and her stomach churned… but not unpleasantly. It felt like a cloud, almost, like falling, or floating upward. Her whole body felt warmed and she directed her attention back to the conversation.

"— Isn't Tori's house about a minute from here?"

"Huh?" Tori said, jerked from her thoughts.

"I said," Beck repeated patiently, "Isn't your house like a minute from here?" His eyes darted down to where the dimming light illuminated the twine of her's and Jade's hands, but he said nothing. His eyes were mildly curious, but not angry or intruding, and Tori was glad— not for the first time—that Beck was in their group of friends.

"Yeah, it is. What are you proposing?"

Beck spread his hands. "My car is already beat up, but still pretty sturdy, so it can stand the rain without getting worse. I figure none of us want to stay here, right?" He asked, to which they murmured agreement. Tori felt Jade's fingers twitch in her grasp and she ran her forefinger along the other's palm.

"Jade's a really good driver. She could probably drive through a tornado and come out safely. So, if it's okay with you, Tor, we could stay at your place until the storm lets up…?"

"Yeah, I guess that'd be alright. My parents are out of town on a trip. But can your car hold seven people?"

"Seven?" Beck frowned in confusion.

Tori rolled her eyes. "Trina," she added, a brief explanation. "She'd kill me if we leave her behind."

Beck grinned, the mischief practically glowing from his features. "Don't worry," he chuckled. "We won't let that happen. No, my car only holds six anyways. She can deal here; chill out. The worst she'd do is piss off everyone in the building or try and walk home and die."

Tori shrugged. "Okay. But we'd better go, before Sikowitz prevents us. And if Trina does murder me in class tomorrow, or if she does die trying to walk home in this, I'm blaming you!"

Five minutes later, after a dash toward Beck's car in the parking lot that left them soaking wet and shivering and exhausted from dodging flying debris, they were crammed into the little mini-van. Jade was in the driving seat, and Tori in the passenger. Cat had insisted the middle seat, Beck had claimed the back seat to himself, Andre nor Robbie liked the passenger, leaving Tori stuck beside Jade. But for once, it didn't worry her or make her desolate; rather, she could only think of the feel of warm fingers intertwined with her own, and warmth and butterflies blossomed in her stomach, an unknown emotion.

Jade started the car, screeching out the parking lot. Rain lashed the dusty windows and thunder howled above them. Cat whimpered loudly at each flash of lightning, clinging tightly to Robbie. Robbie looked very nervous, which made a smile play around Tori's lips as she glanced back at the little red head clutching Robbie's sleeve.

After they had driven down a few roads, avoiding flooded areas, Jade shouted over the roar of the storm. "Vega! Is this it?"

Tori peered from the window, making out a dark silhouette of a house. "Yes," she answered. "Park it and let's go in!"

Jade swerved in the driveway, stopping the car with a screech. The purr of the car hummed to a stop on the gravel walk.

"On my count, everyone runs to the door," Tori told everyone, her hand on the cold metal of the door. "Three… two… go!"

"You forgot one!" Cat squealed as they all exploded from the car, madly dashing to the door as wind screeched, making them stagger erratically across the walk.

They stopped under the porch, dripping and panting, shaking raindrops from their hair and clothes. Tori fumbled for her keys and unlocked the house, her hands sliding across the ridged metal.

"Aw man, you got me all wet!" Rex complained. "Now I'm wet with pee and rain!"

Robbie muttered a retort and followed as they all trailed inside, water slowly running down their bodies. "If you don't take off your wet clothes, the carpet and couch will get wet, and my mom will kill me," Tori told them, shaking out her hair and sliding off her jacket. "So take off your shoes and jackets, please—"

"Tori wants us to strip!" Jade said dryly, twisting her hair and causing water to rush out. "I never would have thought Vega was such a naughty—"

"Shut up!" Tori said, flushing in embarrassment as she wrung her hair. "I totally was not!"

Jade smirked but complied, removing her jacket and halter top, leaving her in nothing but a black tank and dripping black leggings. Tori flushed as the visible bra straps slid back from the tight tank. "I hope you're satisfied."

Tori turned smartly on a heel, ignoring the comment, and strode to the window, checking the weather. The storm had only worsened, with water slowly flooding the street, and lashing the whole land outside. Lightning flashed every other second, and the rumble of thunder was almost continuous. The clear drops of precipitation slid down the window like tears, smudging the window with frosted cold. Her gaze slid to the clock and she moaned when she saw the time. It was a quarter past five.

"Don't hate me for saying it," she said tentatively, "But I think you guys are going to have to spend the night here."

Their heads all turned. "What?" Jade was the first to snap. "No way!"

Tori raised an eyebrow. "You know you can't drive home in this anymore than I could fly. It's gotten a lot worse. Turn on the news if you don't believe me."

Jade shot her an icy look and angrily punched a button on the remote, turning up the volume, her eyes burning.

"— And in Los Angeles, storms continue to ravage the area." The TV glowed on, showing a weatherman in front a map. The area around where they lived was streaked with red and orange splashes. "We're now hitting a record high for inches of rain, and our storm experts predict that this new batch of cold fronts may last for at least two more days. Watch out for flash floods, high winds, low to ground lightning, and funnel clouds. And now with us is—"

Jade turned off the TV. "Damnit. I hate when you're right. Fine, so we do stay, I'd rather stay here than die trying to get home."

"Yay!" Cat chirped, all fear forgotten. "Sleepover! I love sleepovers!"

At the same moment, Beck, Andre, and Robbie, collectively let out a groan.

Tori clapped. "Well, you're stuck here! This ought be fun!"

I know that there are lots more people reading this than the four reviewers. If you are reading, and haven't reviewed, I would really appreciate if you did. Thank you!


	6. First Touches

CHAPTER SIX

**Hey y'all! I have formed the playlist for 'Heal', all of these I listen to whilst writing, please take a listen whenever you can to these songs!**

"**A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri (Tori's song to Jade or Jade's song to Tori; this WILL be their song soon!)**

"**Safe and Sound" by Megan Nicole (Theme Song)**

"**Human Sacrifice" by Sweetbox (Jade's song to Beck—Beck will be coming up as problem, possibly, I haven't decided yet)  
**

"**You Are The Moon" by The Hush Sound (Tori's song to Jade)**

**THINGS I LISTEN TO WHILE WRTING**

"**Skinny Love" by Birdy**

"**Hymn For The Missing" by Red**

"**I Know I'm A Wolf" by Young Heretics**

"**Kiss it All Better" by He Is We **

**And many more coming soon!**

**I'm THRILLED at all the feedback! You guys have gone above and beyond! 3**

Tori grinned as Beck flopped backward over the couch, raising an eyebrow at her, his long black and brown dappled hair falling backward over his forehead. His tone was gently teasing, calm and cool as always despite the hell storm pounding at the house outside. "And where, Miss Tori, will we all be sleeping, exactly?"

Tori frowned. "I guess one of you can take my room—"

"No, no, that's not fair to you. You can keep your room." Andre replied, stretching out on the couch. "I can bunk here and Beck on the other couch, if that's okay."

"That sounds good. Cat, can you take Trina's room?"

Cat nodded, snuggling against Robbie. Her deep brown eyes were not nearly as scared now, and her lips curled at the corners with her customary smile. Robbie looked content too, and his arm was draped almost casually over Cat's shoulder, which made Tori grin even wider at her friends. "Okay, that's settled. Robbie, I don't know about you—"

"I can sleep on the floor, as long as I have a pillow and blanket," he suggested, shrugging slightly.

"Man, I am NOT sleeping on the floor with you!" Rex put in. "I can sleep with Tori—"

Everyone burst into laughter, even Jade, and Cat looked mortified as she realized what the slip of words sounded like. A high red color rose in Robbie's cheeks and he looked just as horrified as Cat. "Rex will sleep on the floor too," Robbie said tightly, his voice very embarrassed.

"What an unfortunate choice of vocabulary," Jade muttered, and Tori choked as she tried to suppress a laugh.

Cat's eyes were round, and she seemed to be struggling to contain her laughter now. It bubbled up and she started giggling, which brought them all into another fit of gasping chuckles.

"Okay," Tori gasped as they all calmed down. "Robbie, I'll get you a quilt and some pillows. That settles us, I guess—"

"You forgot me."

Jade's voice fell through the silence that followed, her tone cold, devoid of happiness, and her eyes unreadable. Guilt immediately pounded through Tori, and her eyes found Jade's hands. Her hands— the hands that, oh God, the hands that had pulsed next to Tori's earlier, heart to heart, warmth and fire— "There's nowhere else for me, is there?"

"She could sleep in your room too," Cat offered, playing with her hair. "Cause there's nowhere else, and your room is big and Trina's is small." A certain knowing gleam lit her coffee brown eyes, and Tori wondered for the first time if Cat was much more intelligent then she let on.

Tori stammered. "I— No, I don't— I mean— unless you're okay with it?"

"That'd be fine." Jade said shortly, turning away to examine her nails. "Now we're all settled, why don't we eat? I'm starved."

Tori remained as she was for a moment, and then she nodded. "Okay, I'll fix something."

"Do you have bibble?!" exclaimed Cat, leaping from her seat with her eyes flashing excitedly, and her candy-red lips extended in a hopeful smile.

Tori chuckled. "Sorry, Cat. We're fresh out." She turned as Cat's smile dropped and her face fell, the brown eyes saddening. "But," she added quickly, "you can help me fix something else. And Beck, turn on a movie or something; dinner will be a while."

Jade snatched the remote from Beck's hands, and she shot Tori a meaningful look. "Can we watch the Scissoring?"

"No!" Cat gasped, her eyes wide in a comical display of horror. "That's scary, and you've seen it already, like a million times!"

Tori watched Jade open her mouth for an angry retort, eyes flashing emerald-ice daggers, and she broke in before Cat would get yelled at.

"I've never seen the Scissoring," she offered, raising her hands slightly in a helpless shrug. Jade's eyes were round in surprise as she looked back, and something— maybe gratitude?— was flickering in her eyes.

"That's good enough for me," Jade replied, lazily turning on the TV. "Robbie, go put it in."

"But I don't want—"

Jade gave him her famous glare. Robbie squeaked in fear, stumbled from the couch, and darted over to the TV and slid in a red and black CD. As the opening credits rolled on, Tori found her eyes not on the TV screen, but instead latched onto the cascading, raven-feather hair of her greatest mystery.

Hours later, after frozen pizza had been baked and eaten, the storm still raging and screaming outside the snug, lamp lit walls of the Vega household, Tori was sitting on her bed. Her legs were propped against the backboard, her eyes narrowed as she sketched lightly on a pad of paper. Light flickered over the ruffled edges of the white surface, each flutter in the warmth making Tori fear the power would cut here, too.

"What are you drawing?"

Tori looked up in surprise, her glasses sliding down her nose. Shoving them back up the narrow bridge of soft skin, she grinned slightly, encouraged by the lack of barbed venom in Jade's voice. "I'm drawing your cat," she offered, flipping the sketchpad Jade's way. Tori had already drawn the fluffy, tufted ears of Tawny, and the dip of the chin, the wedged head.

Jade's eyes widened a fraction as she ran a thumb over the light stencils. "Looks a lot like him," she said, and Tori was further baffled by the absence of sarcasm. "You're pretty good at drawing. I didn't know."

"Thanks?"

"No problem." Jade shook her hair out and her leaf-green rimmed eyes looked nervous. "Vega, do you have any clothes for me to borrow?"

Tori let one more stroke of pencil out onto the arch of fur above the eye and laid the paper down. "Yeah, but I don't know if they'll fit. Let me check."

She hopped over Cat, who had her eyes closed and was bobbing her head with hot pink headphones hooked to her ears. Pulling open the smooth, marbled wood of the dresser, she rummaged through rows of soft cloth and ruffled pants until she emerged with a long, kitten soft sweatpants, navy colored and dotted with minuscule lint balls. She tossed them to Jade and passed over the light colored shirts until she reached a dark blue tank that dipped low in a "V" curve in the front and hemmed high in the waistline.

"Those okay?" she queried, handing Jade the top.

"Fine, thanks. And I don't envy the kids at HA who are having to sleep in that hole." A rare, genuine grin curled her cheeks upward, and Tori laughed, picturing Trina. She could see her sister now, scowling and cursing to the heavens, complaining and pissing off everyone in the vicinity.

"Just imagine Trina," she choked out, doubling up in laughter. Jade gave a chuckle and shut herself in the bathroom to change, light pouring under the cracks in the doorframe.

"Tori!"

Tori whirled to see Cat, her headphones off and her puppy-dog eyes gazing anxiously up at her. "Hey, what's up?"

Cat stood, pulling down her shirt, fingers dancing along the arch of pink plastic. "I'm tired and I'm going to bed, good night!"

Tori wished her a good night, settling back on the bed. As Cat turned to go, she looked back at Tori, her eyebrows raised mischievously and her lips extended in a sly grin. "I hope you just sleep tonight," she laughed, whirling out the door, red hair flashing out behind her.

Tori stared after her, open mouthed, glasses slipping down her nose as blood rose in her cheeks. She coughed in embarrassment and crawled back on the bed, starting to lightly trace the fluff of fur on the cat's angular cheek. She swallowed nervously, and wondered just how smart Cat really was.

"They're a little tight in the waist, but they'll do."

Jade had emerged from the bathroom, the shirt hugging her body in all the right ways, making Tori's stomach flutter as she stalked toward the bed like a cat creeping toward a mouse. The soft cloth of the sweats swayed around her bare ankles, and the bed shook as Jade climbed in next to her; she could feel the warmth radiating from her bare skin like an aura of sun or moon.

"I'm going to sleep now," she announced, closing her sketchbook and laying it on her beside table. Maybe she was ill; why else would her heart be fluttering madly and her breathing coming so heavily? She curled under the sheets, sighing as the warm covers rubbed against her ice cold feet and and hands.

She shuddered as Jade made no comment, just reached over her, flat paned stomach brushing against her chest as she flicked off the lamp. Heat bloomed from where Jade had touched, and Tori wondered if she was going mentally insane. Or if she had some terrible disease.

When she closed her eyes, sleep was not long in coming, especially with the light touch of Jade's fingers on her back.

She was shaken awake hours later by a huge crash of thunder. She shot up only to see that Jade was sitting up already, her eyes fixed on the window where the storm clanged on.

Falling back down, well aware that Jade had done the same, Tori rolled over, her eyes finding the ridged surface of the ceiling. Her eyes narrowed as she remembered the contact earlier, and she glanced over at the window, where rain thrashed the frosty glass and lightning lit up the roiling, ravaged sky, sharply illuminating Jade's form next to her for a split second, everything bathed harshly white, before all fell back to pitch black.

"Jade?"

When she didn't reply right away, Tori assumed she was fallen back asleep. But a few seconds later, she spoke back, her voice clear, and lacking her usual venom, like she hadn't slept, not at all since they'd gotten in the bed.

"What?"

Tori fumbled for the right words, her hands shaking slightly, palms sweating. "Earlier, when we were at the school…" She desperately searched for a less embarrassing way to say it. Finding none, she spoke quickly, her face hot. "Why did you hold my hand?"

She noticed how Jade tensed beside her, and her breath quickened. "I… I don't know, really. I was just… tense. I've never seen a storm this bad in LA, and then the power cut, and Cat's fear got to me a little…" Then her voice grew bolder. "But you didn't pull away."

"No," agreed Tori. "I wouldn't have wanted to."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I mean, we're friends, I guess… right?" Tori asked, her eyes darting over to see eyes, blue as glacier ice, rimmed with leaf-green edges, staring at her softly.

"Hmm," the owner of the eyes said. "I don't know if I could put up with your damn optimism twenty four seven, Vega. But hell, why not. Sure, we're friends."

Tori rolled to face Jade, their eyes meeting. "I'm glad," Tori said softly, feeling Jade's frigid cold fingers brush her arm.

"Me too."

And Tori wasn't scared by the heat that flowered up from her heart and made her head dizzy.

This time, it was welcome.

The storm had woken Jade up right before Tori had shot from sleep, her eyes darting to the window. They were both laying back down, facing each other with wildly thrumming hearts.

Jade stared into Tori's eyes, seeing her own nervousness and adrenaline mirrored there. She didn't know why she could feel her heart racing, and Tori's hand brushed her neck, her racing pulse.

"Are you scared?" she asked quietly, her golden-amber-brown eyes traveling to the porcelain white skin of Jade's neck, her collarbone— then it stopped before things got too awkward. Jade found her own eyes lightly dancing over the curve of Tori's sternum, the hollow just above the rib cage, the arch of her cheekbones.

"Never," she replied, whisper soft. "I'm never scared."

Later on, Jade wouldn't be able to tell you who took the step first. Faces got close, too close— wonderfully so, and they both leaned forward. Their lips brushed, and hands tangled in the nape of Tori's neck, pulling her closer. Their bodies touched, pressed together, eyes closed.

It was only a feather soft brush of lips, nothing more than that, but it felt like so much more. One hand was entangled in the soft hair that swept back from the back of Tori's head, one hand cupping the curve of her jawline, light, not even fully touching.

And Tori didn't pull away, and that urged on, spurring her. It was fire and ice, hot like fireworks exploding and icy like an avalanche thundering down a mountain into bottomless depths.

She loved it and felt fire pumping through her veins, her heart ready to burst from her chest.

Tori was the first to break away, at a loss for words, her breath still coming fast and heavy. The brush was so brief, Jade wasn't sure if she could taste mint or fruit on her lips, and she felt like she was flying for the first time, feeling like she'd never had emotion before. Deep chocolate eyes, wide and round as the sun, stared into her own, and this time it was Tori who pulled her back, hugging her tighter, arms spanning her back and pressing hotly, feverishly into her skin, Tori who was pressing their lips back together.

A new thought soured her mind as her body was thrown up into the clouds. This wasn't good, this was… Tori was like fire, eternal flame with light, dancing and drawing all eyes to her with her beauty; Jade was ice, unmelting, hard with jagged edges and glinting, painful beauty, but overlooked always. Tori was light and bubbly and so dripping with innocence, and Jade was Queen of Darkness with screwed up ideals and twisted persona, with rough edges nobody wanted to get near, much less touch. If you did happen to get too close, you'd be impaled on the spikes of Jade's anger and bitterness.

But fire melted ice, right? Dulled its edges, tempered it?

She clung desperately to the thought, holding on it like it would save her life as it became more heated, both of them clutching at each other, feverish and passioned.

Jade drew back this time, her little bubble of clouded, insane happiness was popped, the reality punching her square in the chest and forcing her to stagger from the bed. Cold air surrounded her, making goosebumps erupt up and down her arms. She clenched her jaw and glanced back, a flash of white lightning showing the slender silhouette of Tori sitting up on the bed. Eyes, glowing an amber-brown in the dim, wind tossed moonlight, were narrowed into mere slits. The lightning died and all was dark again. By the next flash, Jade stumbled back when the form of Tori was right in front of her, head cocked and eyes locked on hers with an intensity that made her shiver.

"I don't know why I did that," she stuttered, all her bad-girl aura stripped away to terrible, churning nausea in her stomach, and sweating palms, and God, why couldn't she stop thinking of the fire that had flared when Tori had touched her— "I'm sorry."

Tori's head dropped back into its original place, the eyes dimming back to warm brown. "Why?"

"You were too close, I couldn't think straight— and I—"

"No." Tori placed a finger of Jade's lips, stammering to form words, and she snapped her mouth shut as the fingers pressed on it. "Why are you sorry?"

"I— I assumed—"

Tori's head tilted, her arms drawing up in front of her to pin Jade to the wall. Jade had never really seen how beautiful Tori was, with glowing skin, glinting eyes, the hollow of her sternum as it rose with a breath, the arch of her collarbone, the maddening way her scent of vanilla and lavender spun dizzyingly around her—

"I thought this was friendship, Vega," Jade murmured, her breath warming the cold skin of Tori's neck as she bent her head slightly, "And now you're kissing me?"

"If I recall correctly, it was the other way around." Tori said, her hands dropping as Jade's eyes narrowed— she could feel the tension, her eyes only seeing her opposite's face.

Jade smirked "No, I'm sure it was you."

And then they collided again, soft at first, but then it increased. Jade ran her tongue along Tori's bottom lip, a low moan coming from the Latina's mouth that drove her wildly insane. She pressed back, thoughts out the window, and her heart was pounding fit to burst—

Then the reality punched her again, harder this time, so she wouldn't be entranced again. She shoved Tori back, staggering away, her eyes burning. She struggled for breath as memories torrented around, knocking her from the here and now.

"Jade? Jade!"

She realized she had fallen to her knees, coughing uncontrollably.

Coughing like she could rid herself of the poison that lived within her.

This poison had started four years past, with one incident burnt crystal clear in her mind. Every detail embedded so deep, each feeling that she'd tried to dream, drink, cut away. The hiss of metal against her neck, blood beading against pale skin and blossoming crimson flowers against the snow, the plea for him to let her go, the fear that had stopped her heart. The jagged laugh as he clenched a hand around her face, cupping her chin, marking her as his as he broke her into pieces so fucking small they couldn't even be pieced back together. Her screams of pain, her helpless struggles, icing as he drew a knife across her… hoping fervently someone would hear. Someone would hear and rescue her.

But no one did. No one had ever heard her.

She remembered lying broken in that alley, wishing the snow would kill her, feeling so dead inside, like that man had hacked out her heart and soul instead of innocence.

Then a year later, her only parent figure spun away from her with the signing of a document. The divorce was so hard, so mentally psyching. She hated it, she hated it, she wanted it to stop, the pain—

The goddamned pain that crippled her every single day.

She was so incensed, so cloaked in the memory and the disease of it, she didn't feel. Her tie to reality had been disconnected, and she was lost in time, plunged into the past.

Four years old. Giggling by the hearth-fire as she tore open a present. A happy family had once been hers. She remembered the Easters, Christmases, Thanksgivings, soured now by the memories more recent.

She was ten now, growing up, her face already starting to lose that babyish look, replaced by shadows and lines, sharp corners and straight edges, but still the naive her, full of innocence.

A big old dandy fifth grader, starting to tentatively get more responsible, to start taking care of herself.

Then thirteen. Stressed, in eighth grade, with loads of homework and classes and theatre. She kept her head above water though, because she'd not fall behind. Then she was burned away into who she is now, on that cold snowy night that haunts her every waking moment.

Now she's fifteen, snappish and prickly and cruel, barbed walls rising higher as who she once was had been destroyed two years past. She could have been healed, cured, if she had good parents to help her through. Instead she had only those who beat her down each day, pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

Now she was here, on her knees, gasping and sobbing and choking on the bile of corroded memories, open like exposed ribs—

And Tori.

The thought snapped her out of it, and she touched back to the ground, her vision blurred with angry, bitter tears. Tori's hands were cupping her jaw, the skin cool and soft, a thumb gently swiping away her tears as she shuddered out a breath. Eyes like sun dancing along a still, muddied forest pond peered into hers, anxiousness and worry thick in the gaze.

"Jade? Jade, answer me, please."

"What?" The voice that came out was not her own; it was a stranger's. It was raw and vulnerable and shaking, and Jade West was none of those things.

Was she?

"You just collapsed and starting shaking uncontrollably and I didn't know…" Her breathless voice, full of concern— Concern for Jade— reached deep and twisted her heart.

Jade shook her head slowly, her hands knotted in her hair. "No," she said hoarsely. "I paid a little trip to the past." She raised a shaking head to look Tori in the eyes. The girl flinched away, and Jade wondered just how broken her eyes must look, how different and open her face would be.

She croaked the words as though they pained her to the core, scouring away at her bones until nothing was left but bleached white emptiness. "And these wounds, they're so deep, I— I can't heal them."

**Everyone who is reading this— remember to review! :) **


	7. Seeing

CHAPTER SEVEN

Tori paced restlessly in front the window, pausing every few seconds to look at the form of Jade. She was slumped against the headboard of the bed, her shoulders shifting restlessly, black hair masking her eyes, her whole body trembling. She kept rubbing the back of her neck, where a faint white scar lay. A scar from a knife four years ago.

Tori kept feeling the hungry, warm lips against her own, each movement sending her stomach into a storm of butterflies and summer heat. Then the warmth had snapped as Jade had staggered away, coughing and convulsing. Reliving a past so bad it had severed her from the now, sending her into a 'coma' of sorts.

Tori stilled her feet, biting her bottom lip thoughtfully. Like she'd thought before, Jade's wounds ran straight to the heart, to the soul. It was like a knife was jabbing her deeper every day, twisting and plunging and eliciting screams only Tori could hear.

Tori wanted to pull that knife out and fling it away and heal those wounds, wipe away the unseen blood and quiet the agonized, unheard calls for help.

But how?

A shuddering intake of breath jerked her from her musing, and she looked down, eyes adjusting to the growing shadows. She checked her watch— it was 2:00 in the morning.

Whatever, it wasn't like she could sleep, anyway.

She padded over with bare feet and dropped down beside Jade. Her eyes were still the same, icy-emerald green; that hadn't changed. But they looked like they were glazed with shadows and broken glass.

It broke Tori's heart.

"I want whoever did this to you to feel your pain," she said simply.

"Unlikely." Jade muttered back, her voice still cracked and dry from coughing and crying. "There's more than one, and you aren't strong enough to inflict so much hurt."

Tori didn't take insult. She kept her voice level, intense, locking eyes with Jade. "You'd be surprised at what I'm capable of."

Jade scoffed, but there was no malice behind it. "You're about as threatening as a newborn kitten."

"Cats have teeth and claws," Tori responded lightly, her hands running wearily through long tumbles of caramel hair. She tilted her head, watching Jade as she took a breath, noticing the tiny details that had never really jumped out before: the satin white skin, the angular cheeks, the gleam of cunning eyes, the slender fingers, the rise and fall of her chest as the shirt ended at the hollow of her—

Woah, woah. That was the R-rated zone. Tori shook her head to clear it and gave an apologetic smile to Jade, pressing her hands together thoughtfully.

The girl with broken eyes spared her a single glance, her lips thin and her hands dancing along the lint-dusted fabric of the sweatpants.

"Maybe you are strong," she admitted. Her eyes rested on Tori's forehead, then eyes, then with a tinge of longing, her lips—

Let's not get lusty, Tori, she told herself firmly.

"Stronger than I thought," she continued, her eyes traveling up and down Tori. "Maybe… maybe you could help me." In her eyes was a faint trace of a dying hope. A plea.

Because, Tori reasoned, why would Jade want to hate her only hope of ever getting better?

The next morning dawned on a day cloudy and gray outside. The storm was anything but lessened; still raging on. Winds whistled outside and lightning flickered angrily across the storm tossed sky, though the wind had lessened rain still pounded relentlessly at the flooding streets.

Tori had gone downstairs, leaving a silent, sleeping Jade in the bed. She rubbed her eyes and rumpled her hair, shoving two PopTarts in the toaster, and cooking a plate of bacon. Trina would probably kill her— the bacon had been 'special healthy' bacon that promoted good looks (Which Tori had told her was complete and utter bull), it sizzled and popped satisfyingly in the slow murmur of the microwave. She smiled wearily as Beck popped up from the couch, his hair looking none the worse for the angry night of weather.

"I smell bacon," he announced, his nostrils flaring as he took in the warm, salted scent. "And… is that strawberry PopTart?"

Tori shook a finger at him. "Blueberry, you hairball. How do the two even smell alike?"

He grinned and loped over, plucking a raw PopTart from the counter and tearing open the package. "They both smell sweet," he said, muffled; his mouth was full of the pastry. Crumbs tumbled onto the carpet, making Tori roll her eyes.

"Get a napkin," she mock-scolded him, turning to remove the warm ones from the toaster.

"Hairball?" he questioned, swallowing and brushing crumbles from his mouth. "What did I ever do to you that would make you call me 'hairball?'"

She chortled. "You grew lots of hair."

He forced an offended, dignified face on. "My hair is incredibly sexy, you can't deny that."

Grinning, Tori removed the bacon. "Just because it's sexy, doesn't mean I'm obsessed with it like every other girl."

She chose a crispy piece and tore of a strip, savoring the warmth as it slid down her throat.

Within the next five minutes, Andre and Robbie had awakened, both of them devouring the bacon.

"Boys!" Tori exclaimed. "You eat like wolves, all the time. How do you do it?"

Andre and Robbie exchanged a glance, and then Robbie replied back with, "We aren't tiny-stomached girls obsessed with being skinny as a noodle."

Tori frowned indignantly and slid the plate away. "I am not skinny as a noodle! And anyway, you've managed to eat fifteen slices between the three of you. We all know Cat practically inhales bacon, you've only left five pieces left. I've only had half a piece, and Jade hasn't even eaten anything. What do you expect us to eat, air?"

Andre smiled apologetically. "Whoops," he mumbled around a strip of bacon. "My bad."

Tori sighed. "I'm going to wake them both up."

The corner of Beck's mouth twitched. "Careful," he cautioned, his voice warm. "Jade is murderous if you wake her roughly. I've gotten many a bruise doing it wrong."

Muttering a half-hearted retort, Tori ascended the stairs, wincing as thunder rumbled through the house. She felt her phone buzz against her hip, and she swore as she saw the 'One New Message from Trina,' light up the screen.

Tori turned it off, deciding to put off the hell storm of rage from her older sister until later. She poked her head into Trina's room to see Cat snoring soundly on the bed, her eyelashes fluttering as if she was dreaming. Her foot kicked out as Tori approached.

"Bibble…" she muttered in her sleep.

Tori tilted her head, smiled, and shook Cat gently. "Hey kitten, wake up."

Cat shot from the bed, red hair fluffed and her eyes wild until she realized where she was. "I was just about to catch a bunch of bibble," she pouted, frowning and crossing her arms over her chest. "And you woke me up."

"There's bacon downstairs," Tori offered, her lip twitching with suppressed laughter. "But the guys have almost eaten it all, so—"

Cat had jumped from the bed and whipped from the room before she finished. The stairs clanged with thundering footsteps, and she strained her ears to hear a loud, high pitched squeal of, "My bacon!" fill the house.

Tori softly stepped down the hall, gently creaking open the door to her room and peering inside. Jade was just waking up as she crept in, the forest colored eyes blinking as the covers fell away. Her face looked much softer— the eyebrows arching upward instead of slanting in a perpetual scowl, the lips curving up in a gaping yawn instead of thin and frowning. Jade's head snapped toward Tori, and her eyes blinked in surprise, the lips parting slightly as their eyes met.

"Good morning," Tori offered, and then immediately wished she could take it back as Jade looked away with a furrow of her brow.

"Good morning to you, too."

Tori's jaws gaped as Jade smiled slightly, stretching and rolling from the bed, her black hair flawless as always.

"Someone's in a good mood," Tori said hopefully as Jade yawned.

"It's when I'm nice you know I'm in a terrible mood," Jade scoffed, brushing past her, sending goosebumps erupting up her arm. "I'll be really bouncy today."

Tori took a breath and said boldly, "You didn't seem so moody with me last night."

Jade turned around, her eyes shocked and angry. "That— that was— that meant nothing!"

Tori furrowed her brow, taking a step forward. "It's not something to be ashamed of—"

"It's everything to be ashamed of. Everything. You and I, it's just…" Jade's breath was coming heavily. "It was wrong. You're not— we're both—"

"It's not wrong, Jade," she said softly. "It's just not. I can't help being drawn to you—"

Jade bared her teeth, cutting Tori off. "Shut up!" Then she spun around, dark hair flouncing behind her, and stalked out.

Tori followed behind her, catching up and placing her hands firmly on Jade's shoulders. With a strength she didn't know she had, she whirled Jade around and pressed her against the wall, willing her to understand. Jade let out a yelp of protest, straining to break free.

"What is hurting you so much?" She whispered, staring into the eyes, trying to see the slashed, bleeding wounds that lay under snowy pale skin. "Tell me."

Jade flinched away, her lashes fluttering as though she was fighting to hold back tears.

"Please," Tori murmured, her hands feeling Jade's wild pulse as she swallowed. 

"My father," she managed. "Tori, I— I lied to you. I wasn't kicked out because my stepmother hated me, it's… They kicked me out because…" Her throat rippled as she swallowed, eyes darting toward Tori's feet. "Because I went against their religion. They say people who are like me are lower than filth, they deserve to be persecuted and outcasted, if they love the same gender. Not even if they love both…" Her eyes found Tori's, fire raging behind iced over eyes. "Don't you understand?"

Tori quirked her lip. "I don't think I— oh! That's horrible. You can't help who you love, no matter who they are."

Jade shook her head, a bitter snarl curving her mouth downward. "But that didn't fucking matter to my parents, Vega."

She ducked under Tori's outstretched arm and hurried downstairs, her breath hitching with unshed tears.

Jade tipped back her mug, warm coffee swirling into her mouth and tasting dry and bitter on her tongue. She could see Tori trying to catch her eye, but she ignored it, sipping the burning hot liquid, as if she could scorch away the sinful feeling that lit her on fire.

"When is this damn storm going to end?" She snapped, slamming her mug onto the counter. Her frustration transferred over into her voice, and she sighed angrily as Tori gave her yet another worried look.

She had loved Beck, loved him like her boyfriend. Then he broke her heart.

Then Tori.

She didn't love Tori. Not at all. The kiss… it had been her nerves, old feelings stirred up and confused for something else. That was all.

Besides, she had done her best to repress her sexuality all these years. No way would she fail now because of one night.

"I thought you liked storms," Cat said.

"Not when they keep me locked up here!"

Tori made an angry noise and turned away. "Then just leave!"

Jade rolled her eyes dramatically and downed the rest of the coffee, her head starting to throb with a migraine. "I would," she pointed out dryly, "But I could drown trying to drive away."

Tori snorted, and her eyes gleamed with hurt as she looked Jade in the eye. A tempest of anger was building in her eyes, and Jade was forcibly reminded of what she'd said— "Cats have claws."

"You know what? Forget it," Jade said, guilt constricting her heart, her breath whooshing out in a sigh of surrender. "I'll be nice."

"Jade? Nice? Impossible!" Rex drawled.

Jade slowly turned to look at the puppet, her eyebrows raised. Robbie coughed and looked away, his face pale. "Fuck off, Rex," she said, flicking a piece of bacon into the puppet's eye. He squealed and Robbie gave Jade an indignant glare, which she returned with a smirk.

An hour later, Jade was lounging on the stairs, a cheesy comedy blaring in the background. She was listening to music, earbuds blocking out all sound except the storm of noise in her ears, her eyes closed as she nodded slightly to the tune.

She opened her eyes, sensing someone behind her. Twisting around, she frowned as she saw Tori gazing at her, brown eyes unreadable. Ignoring the stir in her stomach as the eyes just looked openly at her, she folded her hands. "What?"

"Is it safe to say we're friends now?"

Jade smacked her lightly on the knee. "That's what you wanted to ask? Yes, I already told you so, now go away."

"It doesn't just mean are you friends with me now. I mean, are you going to be nice to me at school? No more murder attempts, no more rude comments? And we get to hug and hang out like normal friends do?"

"I can't guarantee the former…"

Tori smiled slightly. "Nix that. You wouldn't be Jade without snide comments. So, friends?"

"Yes."

Tori placed her hand on Jade's collarbone, causing heat to ripple from the spot— God, her body was failing her, tearing apart her icy charisma— and a flush to creep up her face. "I'll see you tomorrow. Beck, Andre, Robbie and Cat are all leaving. The storm let up."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really?" She glanced at the window to see mild rain falling down, but no lightning and only a little thunder. "I guess I'll see you then," she said, rising to her feet.

"I look forward to it," Tori said.

Jade bowed her head and murmured, so Tori couldn't hear, "So do I."

Hey guys, thanks for all the feedback this has gotten. I never expected this story to become so popular, and you guys are awesome,I love y'all 3

I want all of you to send up a prayer or whatever. My dead-beat dad is skipping on paying child support for three months now (my mom is working herself to death trying to keep a roof over our heads, which i'm so grateful for)— please pray that my dad comes to his senses and realizes he could care about his own daughter even a little bit.

Thanks, and look for the next chapter— it's a HUGE plot twist upcoming!


	8. It All Comes Crashing Down

CHAPTER EIGHT

Jade leaned back in the black sofa of her apartment, stroking Tawny's muscle-corded back as he purred contentedly. The night was just rising outside, sun rays bleeding red onto the dusky gray clouds that slashed the sky. They reminded her of dove wings, fanning out with feathery tips across the star speckled velvet.

Furrowing her brow, she wondered why Tori hadn't texted her back yet. The two had been continually talking, from everything to homework and their favorite ice-cream flavors, along with more sensual topics. She went back to the last text she had sent— about half an hour ago, Tori usually replied within minutes— and frowned. She had only asked what Tori was doing right now, and she hadn't replied since.

As she browsed the texts, her phone buzzed and the screen flipped to show 'Incoming Call from: Beck Oliver."

She debated whether to answer or not, normally she wouldn't have, but her curiosity won over and she tapped the 'Answer' key, her voice hard as stone as she raised it to her lips. "What do you want?"

"Jade! Jade, are you there?" His voice was muffled, and the background sounded like— was that sirens?

Why was there blaring sirens and frantic screaming in the background?

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Why are you calling me? And what the hell is that background noise?"

His voice sounded frantic, which worried her; Beck never got upset at anything. She recalled the time she had once cut off his hair and he hadn't gotten mad, only saying, "It'll grow back thicker now."

His voice cracked. "Jade, you need to get to the LA hospital on Hols Avenue, now."

Jade's jaw dropped, and she inhaled sharply. "Why? Who's hurt?! Is it—"

"It's Tori, and it's…" She could hear him gasp for breath and shout something to someone in the fade. "There was— she was in a really bad wreck. I have to go, but hurry up!"

"Wait! Beck Oliver, don't you dare hang up on me—"

With a sharp click, the call ended. Jade swore loudly, throwing the cat from her lap with a yowl and tossing her phone in a satchel. She ran from the apartment, locking the door with shaking fingers, and sprinted downstairs to her car in the lot.

The car roared to life, purring rustily on the stained concrete as she screeched from the parking lot onto the road. She drove like a demon, running red lights and jumping in front of other cars. Several cars honked at her, and someone flipped her off as she swerved onto the long Hols Avenue. All the while, her thoughts raced. Beck's voice had been extremely upset— which happened never; she knew that. And Tori.

Tori. Her Tori, her light— someone she had trusted her deepest self with— was in the hospital, had been in a wreck, was… was dying?

She halted in the parking lot, brakes squealing and jerking to a halt. She threw open the car door, leapt out and locked it with a honk of the horn, slamming the door with a resounding thud. Her heart was in her throat and she grit her teeth, pounding toward the neon sign of 'Emergency Room,' the sharp smell of stale coffee and cleanliness blasting her in the face as she swung open the heavy metal door. White, unnatural light harshly lit her features as she glanced around.

"Jade? Jade, is that you?"

She spun to face a tall figure walking toward her, hair ruffled and arms clenched by his sides. Was that blood on his jacket?

"Beck?" She said, voice quavering. "Why is there blood on you?"

Beck swallowed, his throat bobbing up. "It's not mine." His eyes didn't meet hers, and he pursed his lips in a frown of extreme worry. "…Come with me. I'll explain on the way."

Jade trotted after him, her combat boots clicking loudly against the cold tile as Beck swiftly walked away, his gait limping slightly.

"This all happened about a half hour ago," Beck said quietly. "I got there first and helped the paramedics get her in the ambulance. That's why there's blood."

Right when I was talking to her, Jade thought, her stomach nauseated.

"Tori was out with Trina… they were driving to see a new movie, and Trina's all right, only minor injuries—"

"I don't care about her!" She said harshly, her words acid in her mouth as she spat them out frantically. "What about Tori?"

"They were at an intersection when another car ran a red light and it…" He heaved a deep breath, visibly pained. "It slammed right into Tori's side. Completely totaled the car. The doctors said the guy was drunk, and he— he died on impact. Tori went into a coma, and she's…" His voice cracked a little. "It's— it's really bad. They don't know if she'll make it through the night, if she'll live. If she does, she'll.. they say that she'll be crippled..."

Jade stumbled, her legs failing her as she crumpled to the floor, the world spinning around her, ears ringing as shock imploded around her. She couldn't register the words or the ringing in her ears and Tori was hurt and she might die and oh my fucking _God— _

_Tori, my light, my life, you can't die, holy God…. _

_And you can't be crippled, why did this happen— _

She wasn't aware of her rasping breaths and spinning vision, or her tears and Beck helping her back up and guiding her toward a room where doctors worked to save a life. She wasn't aware of the beeping of IV machines or the sobs of her friends.

All she could think of was how horribly she'd treated someone now dying in a hospital cot—

And God, she swore she would be the sweetest person in the world, if only Tori would live.

And she couldn't stop thinking of the lips brushing feverishly in a dark room, and how she had pushed away her growing fear of the warmth that she associated with the youngest Vega.

She staggered to her feet and stopped beside where Andre and Cat looked solemnly at the mass of medical equipment and the click of pens as doctors frenzied to save her life.

"I want details," Jade whispered, voice cracking.

"She broke her foot, her leg was crushed, and has internal bleeding and bruising." Andre said grimly, his eyes bloodshot as he looked through the buzzing of medical staff. "They said she was lucky not to be killed on impact. The doctors said that the car hood flipped backward and protected most of her, but the airbag exploded, that's what caused the internal stuff, and the bottom imploded and mangled up her leg—"

Jade snarled. "I fucking hate whoever did this." Her eye twitched as she slumped back onto a chair, feeling like she was about to throw up. "I hate this!"

Now she knew. She didn't hate Tori; and she would be— beyond broken. She'd be nothing, if Tori died. It would be like someone taking the shards of her and crushing them to powder under their heel, and letting them fall away to be lost in the wind.

Closing her eyes, she did something she hadn't done in years.

She prayed.

She prayed for Tori's life, she prayed for understanding of her feelings, she prayed be happy again.

And last of all, she prayed to heal.

It was hours later, about one in the morning. Beck, Andre, and Robbie had all gone home, with Jade promising to text them hourly updates on the situation. Tori's life was a little more secure now, but she'd lost a lot of blood and things still were unsure.

Jade felt like her heart was going to explode with each glance at her crumpled form, the faintly moving pulse that fluttered in her sternum.

Jade leaned on Cat's shoulder, taking shuddering breaths, black hair fanning out over her shoulders as she tried not to fall apart, tried to make sense of what had happened that would make Tori deserve this.

"Jade?"

Jade glanced up to see Cat staring at the wall, her eyes alert, but sleepiness weighing in more heavily with each passing minute. Jade couldn't fall asleep, not even if the great God himself came down and ordered it. She couldn't sleep until she knew Tori would be okay, until she could hug her and know that everything would be alright and they could be fine…

"What?" she muttered, folding her legs and sitting up. A yawn parted her jaws and she snapped them shut.

Cat's question took her by surprise, the query laced with Cat's typical naive, curious innocence. "Do you love Tori?"

Jade shot her a furtive look, forcing down the explosion of butterflies and fire in her heart. "Like what? Like a friend?"

"Yeah."

"Of course I do," Jade said wearily. "I don't want her to die!"

That was a vast understatement.

Cat leaned on Jade's shoulder. "I never thought this could happen." Her voice grew deeply miserable. "And I can't believe that it did."

Jade pulled her arms close. "Neither can I." She paused. "Cat, can I have a moment alone with her?"

Cat nodded, stumbling sleepily from the room. Jade rose to her feet, padding close to Tori's side.

Her slender form was bound in bandages, her ribs casted over, her leg propped up and swollen, twisted oddly. Her face had escaped most injury— still beautiful hair, still beautiful skin and neck, with only a few slight bruises and cuts. And yet Jade saw none of it, only saw things she wanted to stay with her forever, things she couldn't live without. Jade leaned down to kiss her forehead, her hands cupping the still features, smooth as glass. She could feel tears sting her eyes. She let them fall, plashing onto Tori's forehead and echoing Jade's ragged gasps for breath.

She put her lips to the fragile shell of Tori's ear, and whispered feather-soft, shivering violently, "Tori… Tori, wherever you are, hear me. You… you have to live, okay?" Her breath shuddered as she blinked wet lashes together to keep from going into full hysterics. "I can't do this without you… I trust you, Tori, I need you to live for me. Please…"

Tori stirred slightly, making her heart leap, but then she became still again. Jade placed a hand over her chest, hovering it there, but not touching it.

"Tori," she whispered so soft she could hardly hear herself. "I can't heal without you."

-flashback-

Tori had been sitting in the passenger seat, her head back and a slight smile dancing along her lips as she sent a text to Jade. The music was thrumming in her ears as Trina cruised along the freeway, slowing slightly as the intersection came up.

The light was a bright orb of green, so Trina drove across. Tori sensed something was off, she could hear the squeal of tires and a loud screeching sound of breaks—

SLAM!

Tori was thrown backward a car plowed into them, and a scream tore from her as the world exploded into a supernova of light—

_Pain._

_Rocketing through her_

_She couldn't breathe,_

_Couldn't think,_

_Couldn't feel— _

_There was screaming— _

_Crunching metal— _

_The squeal of tires— _

_Explosions— _

_Flashes of light— _

_And crippling pain— _

_And then all was dark._

Tori blinked open her eyes and became aware of a different kind of hurt. It was there, battering all over her, but it felt— cut off. Like she was feeling someone else's pain.

She sat up and shot out of the cot, frowning as her body moved fluidly, with grace and ease, like she was made of air.

When she looked down, a scream that was quickly stifled erupted from her mouth. Clapping her hands to her face, she stared, horrorstruck, at the cold-barred cot.

Her body— the very same— was lying still and motionless in the hard mattress of the hospital bed, chest rising and falling with faint breath. She bit her lip as she paced slowly around the cot, her body passing through solid objects. Only then did the realization hit her hard, stunning her.

She was seeing from outside her own body, ghostlike and an apparation. She'd heard of such occurrences, but never believed them.

Now she knew.

Memory came rushing back, almost knocking her over. She remembered her abruptly cut off scream as the car slammed into them, blinding, fiery pain, and then… nothing.

Her body— herself— shocked her as she stared, speechless, downward. Her face was flecked with bleeding cuts, bruises peppering the visible skin. Her chest was bound in thick white cloth, the hair fanning out to rest just above her rising and falling torso.

And her leg.

She could feel, even in this form, the searing, burning pain that scorched it. And slowly, it was becoming numb, just around her foot, like it was no longer a part of her.

Her eyes slowly left the broken form and landed on the person sitting stiffly beside her. She swallowed, a lump in her throat, when she saw that it was Jade.

Recent tear tracks trailed down her pale skin, and her eyes were locked on the closed ones of Tori's physical body. Jade was leaning over her, and as Tori watched silently, pain still binding her, Jade bent over and pressed her lips to the body-Tori's forehead. Shocked further, she tilted her head to listen to Jade's murmured words.

"Tori, wherever you are, listen to me… Please stay with me. You have to live, I need you…"

Her breath hitched and she pressed her hands together as if in prayer, and Tori had to step closer, all the way until her insubstantial form was touching Jade.

Jade was praying for Tori's life. She was praying for understanding. And most importantly, she was praying to heal and mend her broken spirit.

And it was then it hit her. Tori knew she might die.

This could be her final chapter.

**Has anyone heard of being in a coma and seeing the world from outside your body? They're making a movie similar to that, and I thought hey, we still need Tori's POV. That's exactly what's going on here. Because, wouldn't you like to see Tori's reaction to the sweet things Jade says while she's in the coma? :) **

**Don't worry. What kind of an author would I be if I killed Tori? (A damn good one that isn't scared of angst, for sure, but even I'm not that cruel, my friends *evil cackle* ) This will shove along Heal a lot, and romance will start budding soon. Keep an eye out, and remember to review for an earlier chapter! I'm not going to guarantee anything will be alright-what's a story without angst?— but no one will die. (or WILL they?)**

**Reviews are like gifts. If you give them to me I will be very happy and very likely to write faster!**


	9. Dreams

CHAPTER NINE

Jade woke up with a snap. Despite her surety that'd she wouldn't fall asleep, the feel of Tori's skin had lulled her into it, giving her brief respite from this living nightmare.

She straightened as she realized someone had walked in the room, and her eyes swiveled around to see a long, white-coated doctor with a receding hairline and a large clipboard clutched in his arms. He didn't even spare a glance for Jade; he started tinkering with IV machines and adjusting the height of the suspension that propped up Tori's leg. Jade wasn't aware of it, but she had leaned forward protectively, a hand hovering over Tori's bound chest.

"Are you related to Miss Victoria Vega?"

Jade snapped her head up as the doctor asked the question. His head was down, his hand scribbling furiously across a pad of legal paper, his glasses sliding down his pudgy nose. "No," Jade said curtly, her hand drawing back. "I'm a friend of hers. Jade. Jade West."

"Ah." The doctor looked up, his eyes not unkind. "I was going to wait for her family to appear to tell them news on her condition."

"You can tell me. I can pass on the news." Jade raised her chin, daring him to say no.

The doctor frowned, his eyes considering, but her pleading tone seemed to win him over, and he turned to stand beside a beeping monitor. "Her condition is much more stable," he said formally, his hands flying at the beeping lights on the computer. "She's almost certainly going to live. The only thing that protected her from being instantly killed or seriously maimed was the hood of the car—"

"I know that; can you get on with it?" Jade snapped, her anxiety gripping and wringing out her heart.

"Her internal bruising should be mended within a few weeks," he said stiffly, "As well as all her other minor injuries. However, her leg is another subject. It was crushed under the weight of the seat, and her major arteries were damaged severely. We're going to have to amputate it."

The words didn't hit her at first. They rested on the surface, and finally they sunk in, leaving her winded as if she'd been beaten in the chest. She fell back a little, gaping, and then her eyes flashed blue fire. "You're not going to do that and stick her in some damn wheelchair or rehab place," Jade snarled. "She'll need to walk again, and you're going to make that happen!"

"Prosthetics will be ordered, Miss West, I can assure you that Victoria will be able to—"

"Screw that." She stood, stepping forward to lock eyes with him. "Screw the reassurances, and do it. If you don't get her better, you'll have me to talk to."

Then she turned smartly on a heel and all but ran out, fury scorching her thoughts an angry red.

She wandered aimlessly in the car for hours. Driving was something that calmed her. The landscape flying by outside, wind pushing back her hair, and the feel of smooth leather under her hands allowed her scrambled thoughts to rearrange from their disorder and fury.

Jade had always been someone who looked to the future, pondered the possibilities. She did that now, a slight frown curving her lips downward as an image bubbled up in her mind.

She could see them all now. Andre, slouching against his locker with his dancing dark eyebrows. Beck, leaning next to him, his face calm and collected as always, his hair swept to the side as he struck up an easy conversation. Robbie, straightening his glasses and arguing with Rex. Cat, chattering about some new candy or gig she'd found, her flyaway red hair fanning out as she giggled and lightened the mood. Jade, staring icily away into the distance, sipping from a coffee and making the occasional snide comment.

And Tori. She wouldn't be full of light and laughter as always. She wouldn't be bouncing around or always optimistic, and she wouldn't be— Jade swallowed back a cry— she wouldn't be walking toward Jade with that determined look in her eye, wouldn't be striding around a stage with her natural ease and grace.

She'd be in a wheelchair, or at best, limping with a prosthetic. The thought made her grit her teeth and slam the breaks, her breath ragged as she bit her lip angrily.

Tori was so sweet, so innocent, so… so full of life. She didn't deserve this.

Jade found herself surprised to learn that she'd take Tori's place in a heartbeat. She'd rather it be herself in that cot, with the propped up leg, and with Tori and her friends torn up over her…

And Jade couldn't help thinking, if she was in a coma on that bed, would Tori pray for her life? Would her world be in crumbles, too?

Would Tori have kissed her as tenderly?

She was further angered when she realized that was a question she couldn't answer.

Pulling over at an abandoned parking lot, Jade pulled out her phone and called someone she'd sworn never to call again; not after he'd broken her heart.

She dialed Beck's number, the sequence familiar as ever. She could feel her eyes sting with tears, and she dashed them away with a stiff hand, swallowing thickly.

Beck picked up on the third ring, his voice muffled as if he'd just woken up. "Jade?"

"No, it's the Hamburglar." She growled sarcastically. "Yes, it's Jade. The doctors just got in a new report about Tori."

His voice instantly became more alert. "Is she okay?"

"She'll live," Jade said grimly, "But they're going to amputate her leg."

She could hear the inhale of shock on Beck's line, and his voice wavered. "But— but she'll live?"

"Yes, but she'll be crippled! She might not walk ever again!" She could hear her voice rising angrily, pitching in fury. "All because a damn drunk had to run that light!"

Beck sighed. "We need to be grateful she wasn't killed, or worse. Just be glad all she's losing is a leg. In the end, that's a small price to pay."

"Not to her! She might never act again."

"Since when have you cared so much about her?" Beck's voice was sharp. "Jade?"

Jade's sight blurred red. Finding no answer to his probing question, she jerked away the phone and slammed a trembling finger to the 'End Call' button.

She took a shuddering gasp of a breath.

And then, alone in a car lot with no one to hear but the sun frowning upon her, she finally allowed herself to cry.

Tori's eyes opened.

She could feel the difference now. She had awoken from the coma. The pain was real, searingly hot and sharp, blazing through her… She was awake, and in the cot, not wandering like some half-dead ghost.

Her whole body felt bruised, and she could feel her stomach prick sharply in hunger. Her neck wouldn't let her sit up— it was too stiff— but she was alive. Alive, and that was all that mattered for now.

Her eyes traveled down to her leg, and she gasped sharply as she noticed there was no pain there.

In fact, there was no feeling at all.

"Tori! You're awake!"

Tori strained her eyes to the left to see who had spoken, and she smiled weakly as she saw her mother springing up from a blue chair. Her face looked gaunt and haunted, as if shed hadn't slept at all.

"My baby, I was so afraid…"

Tori shook her head, wincing in pain as her mother starting crying. "Mom, I'm fine, really," she protested, clenching her teeth as her ribs flashed with pain. "I mean, I'm alive…" Her voice trailed of uncertainly as her leg tingled numbly. She would almost have welcomed back the pain, if only to feel something.

Her mom drew back, and pulled out her phone. "I've got to tell the family… and your friends! And—"

"Mom, is Trina okay?" Tori asked anxiously, suddenly remembering her sister had been in the car.

"She's fine." Her mother smiled, but it was a sad one, like she knew more than she was telling. "She sprained an ankle and got a little cut up, but that's it."

Tori sank back down, sighing in relief. "What happened while I was out?"

"Your friends were very worried about you. Especially that one… oh, what's her name… oh, yes. Jade. They all stayed here overnight but they went home this morning."

"Can you ask them to come here?" Tori whispered, trembling with exertion as she sat up. Her mother gently pushed her back down and nodded, silently pulling out her phone.

Tori allowed her thoughts to flow now, blinking rapidly as she remembered the dream-like state where she'd been transported out of her body. She could almost still feel the press of Jade's lips to her forehead, and her heart gave one painful thump.

She rested and ate a little, feeling a little stronger. Her body felt limp and weak, which her mother told her was from blood loss. Then, she added with a duck of her head, "Robbie gave you a pint of his blood, like you did for him that one time."

Tori smiled fondly at the memory. "Mom…" She said hesitantly.

"Yes, baby?"

"When I was out…" She swallowed. "I'm not sure if I dreamed it, or it was… I don't know, a hallucination or something. I was outside of my body, and I could see the room and everything that was happening." She looked away. "I heard the doctors say that they have to amputate my leg."

Tori could see her mother trying not to cry, trying to be strong, and her voice shook as she spoke. "They'll do everything they can to make sure you walk again, baby, you'll be okay—"

"We're here!"

The door swung open and her friends piled in. Tori's eyes flew to Jade, who was looking down. Her makeup looked smudged and her eyes were red, as though she'd been crying recently, and Tori noticed Beck kept shooting glances her way.

Andre stopped by the edge of the bed, his eyes full of concern as he looked down at her. "You okay, Tori?"

She smiled sadly and shook her head a little. "I've felt better."

He squeezed her hand, his eyes deep pools of anxiety as he rocked back on his heels. "We were worried sick."

Cat and Robbie crowded the other side of the bed, Beck came to stand beside Andre, and Jade stopped silently at the foot of the bed, her eyes meeting Tori's.

She could see more emotion than she'd ever thought possible racing through Jade's face: worry, anger at the situation, misery, fear, and… An emotion that Tori surely was imagining.

She didn't see love in Jade's eyes. She was just imagining it… right? She was confused and hungry, and was seeing things.

"We heard about your leg," Cat burst out, her face full of sadness. "I'm so sorry, Tori, really I—"

"It's okay, Cat. I heard too." She ducked her head. "And it doesn't hurt, really— I can't feel it." She could feel her eyes prick with tears, which she blinked away. "I'll be fine," she repeated firmly. "I'll be the same old me."

Jade looked away.

"Guys, I want to talk to each of you. Alone. Andre, you first."

The other five left the room.

"Including you, Mom," Tori added with a plastered-on grin.

Her mom gave her a exasperated but loving look, and left anyways, leaving Tori and her best friend alone in the room.

"I told you driving with Trina would wreck you eventually," he joked, but the words came out as bitterly dry. "Sorry. I didn't mean—"

"It's okay." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, this is all happening so fast, I just…"

"Can't believe it?" Andre suggested, his face furrowed in a sad frown. "I can't either." He looked at his hands. "You must be tired of hearing people say it, but everything's gonna be okay. You will walk again." He smiled half-heartedly. "We'll make sure of it, chica."

After they'd hugged and she had thanked him, Tori called in Robbie, who looked nervous.

"I heard about your donation," she said gratefully. "Thanks, Robbie."

"It was no problem, really," he muttered, his glasses sliding down his nose. "I'm glad you're alive."

She laughed. "I am too. Plus—" She wiggled her eyebrows— "I'm happy it's my leg that's ruined, and not my face. I'd hate to lose my wonderful cheekbones." Her voice sounded flat and lifeless, and she looked away, her body searing with pain again at the sudden movement.

He gave a lopsided smile. "True."

"Can you call in Cat?"

He nodded, and left. But Tori wasn't seeing Cat's worried face or her admissions of concern— all she could do was anticipate when Jade came through the door.

Jade's eyes were huge circles of melted ice when she walked in.

The depth of them was full of clarity, intensified by smudged black eyeliner as she walked to the edge of the room, pacing slowly, her shoulders sloping like a cat's as she stalked up and down the white-walled room.

"Jade," she said softly.

She stopped pacing and looked forlornly at Tori, her footsteps soundless as she padded over. Her eyes were unusually soft and full of grief as she looked down. "It's not me that needs healing now," she whispered.

"Jade, while I was in the coma…" She swallowed, searching for words. "Have you ever seen those movies where someone is in the hospital and they can see from outside their body?"

Jade nodded, a quick jerk of her head. Even the movement seemed downcast.

"That happened to me."

Jade's eyes widened minutely, her head shaking. "That's impossible."

"It is. I saw you—" Here she sat up and looked Jade in the eye— "I heard you, praying. For me." She reached out for Jade's shoulder. "Why would you pray for me?"

Jade's lips thinned. "Because, well… damnit. You're Tori. You deserve to live and be happy." She sighed. "I do want you to be happy, even if it seems like all I do is make your life hell." Her gaze flickered away. "I'll help you get through this."

Tori smiled. "I'd like that." She lifted a hand to her forehead, indicating the spot where Jade had kissed her. "I felt that. Saw it."

"I should have been there to protect you."Jade's cheeks turned a pale blush-color, her eyes darting downward. "I was worried." Her hands found Tori's arm. "I'd rather be there on that cot than you."

"If you were," Tori said, "I'd've done the same as you did." Her eyes darted upward to the snow-white skin of Jade's forehead— no, it was white like the moon, emitting a glow of pure radiance.

And the moon got fuller each night, more beautiful.

"I'm sorry," Jade said quietly, her cascading hair fanning out in wisps just underneath her sternum. Her eyes twinkled. "About your leg. I almost mauled the doctor when he told me."

"I saw," Tori reminded her. And then, more quietly, she added, "I saw everything."

Both of them looked up as the door clicked open, the same doctor entering with two other nurses following behind him. He didn't look surprised to see Jade in the room, just giving her a formal nod. "It's time for your surgery, Miss Vega," he said gently, his glasses slipping down his nose as he looked softly at Tori's face, full of trepidation.

Tori swallowed, her throat bobbing slightly as her hand trembled underneath Jade's. "I— I'm ready." Her brown eyes were full of fear as she blinked at Jade. "Stay with me," she whispered.

Jade squeezed her hand. "I always will."

The doctors wheeled Tori from the room, the five of them and Tori's parents following suit. Jade was well aware of Beck shooting her curious glances, which she ignored. The white tile clicked against her combat boots as she kept steady pace with the long stride of the doctors, her nose flaring as the overwhelming scent of sterilization and bitter coffee hit her when the doctors turned into a large, cavernous room.

"We're afraid that you all will have to stay out here," the doctor said firmly. "This is a very delicate process, and we need utmost concentration."

Jade didn't like his snotty tone, but she nodded curtly anyways, a tense muscle flickering in her jaw. She leaned back against the wall, prepared to wait.

"I'm worried," Cat said softly, leaning against her shoulder. Jade let her, even shifting a little to take her weight. "Jadey…Tori's gonna be able to walk again, right?"

Jade closed her eyes, a tired sigh heaving from deep in her chest. "Yes."

"But everything's different now," Cat sighed, her voice solemn and her chocolate brown eyes dejected.

Jade looked down at the normally-ditzy redhead, who had her head ducked, a forlorn look on her face. "Nothing ever stays the same," she pointed out quietly. "Not you, not me, not Tori." A soft exhale escaped her jaws. "We can try to keep everything unchanged, but it won't stay that way." Her eyes flickered open and she was sure her face was vulnerably full of grief. "Everything changes," she repeated, whisper soft. "Everything."

Hours later, the door opened. Cat had fallen asleep, snuggled against Jade's shoulder, and Beck, Andre, and Robbie had talked amongst themselves and played on their phones to pass the time. Jade had done nothing but lose herself into her thoughts and feelings, trying to make sense of her heart… it was becoming unreliable, for her. It had gone and… and gotten attached to Tori.

Jade didn't not like the comforting feeling she got whenever Tori was near, but it was confusing… very confusing.

Her eyes hadn't left the door the whole time, and when it opened, they blurred trying to adjust to the sudden change.

"Good news," the doctor said, striding out with a formal nod. "Everything went according to plan. Her other injuries should be healed in two weeks or less, if she rests. Her prosthetic leg will be ordered today."

Tori's parents crowded forward and started asking questions, and Jade turned away, nudging Cat awake and off her shoulder. She folded her arms, sliding down the wall a little as exhaustion finally caught up to her. She straightened, determined not to fall into the enfolding arms of sleep, and took a calming breath.

Whatever happened, whatever changed, Jade West would _not_ become weak.

Tori felt like darkness was lapping gently, like waves on a beach, at the corners of her vision. The world spun in shaky spirals, and her whole body felt numb as stone. She tried to wiggle her fingers, but the effort exhausted her and she fell back, swallowing thickly as she struggled to stay awake, thrashed desperately to escape the clutching fingers of darkness.

She remembered being wheeled into the room, and then the doctors' reassurances; remembered them injecting her with something to make her sleep. Then… it was a blank. A deep, dark, dreamless state of unconscious nothingness. She knew that during that nothingness that had surgically removed her leg.

She took in a breath, concentrating only on that. Her eyes fluttered shut for a heartbeat, then open, then closed again. If she just focused on that, she could stay awake.

She squinted as white light poured over her, shattering the blankness that pressed temptingly at her eyes. Voices, ones she knew were familiar, buzzed in her ears like butterflies. She couldn't think, couldn't wrap her head around it, knew she ought be greeting them. But all she could think was, stay awake, stay awake. Her brain didn't— couldn't— process the words, and she closed her eyes against the flurrying confusion as faces swam before her eyes and her body tingled from stone to feeling.

One voice sliced like a knife through the murky cloud of hazed confusion, reaching her mind, processing the words and making her snap from her daze.

"Are you okay?"

It was a simple question, really. It shouldn't have broken the stone-like feeling in her belly, in her whole body. But suddenly she was buzzing all over, fire flaring through her as she blinked foggily up at a face that leaned over her.

"Jade?"

Tori knew her voice was thick and slurred, her eyes glazed as she tried— really tried— to break away from the misty grasp of drug-induced sleep.

The face smiled, but Tori thought, somewhere in the back of her dazed mind, that it was a sorrowful, despondent kind of smile. "I promised I'd be here, didn't I?"

Tori nodded slowly, grappling against the murk of sleep to rise up from the bed. "Yeah," she murmured, shaking her head to clear it. "You did."

The face showed alarm. "Lay back down. You need to sleep— for God's sake, Tor, you just lost a leg, and a whole lot of blood."

_Ah, _Tori thought sleepily, _that's why I feel so tired. _

But before she could reply, darkness had dragged her down into a thick, comforting fold of warmth and sleep.

_Tori dreamed._

_She was taken from the bright walls and sharp smells of the hospital and transported to a lush green forest._

_Trees stretched away in all directions before her, dappled golden light falling in rich patterns to the soft soil below her feet. Tiny shoots of green grass made a thick carpet as she stepped forward, eyes struggling to take in the beauty of nature's making. _

_She could hear the clean, clear sound of running water, and could feel the brisk wind blowing through the trees. Birdsong, more tuneful and life-like than anything she'd ever heard, twittered in her ears as she inhaled a deep breath of the crisp air. It tasted of high mountains, snow and light and sun, all at once. _

_She turned, feet furrowing in the dimpled chocolate-brown soil, cool under her heels. She realized she was barefoot, only wearing a pair of simple jeans and a soft white tank that smelled of sunshine and rain. Some instinct urged her forward, across the lush tangles of ivy and grass, across twigs and fallen leaves, through glades and rocks, under the animated, rustling ceiling of leaves and sky. She looked up, open mouthed, at the broken ceiling of shards; green and blue, over and over. The bright shades, vivid hues, reminded her of Jade's eyes._

_She stopped when she reached a large, churning, frothing river. The water was an ever-moving mosaic of color, gray and green and steely blue, white foam topping the crested waves. The water danced across the glittering bed of orange and gray rocks, leaves and twigs swept downstream in a spiraling grip of the river's arms. Rocks, slippery with algae, created water-broken path across the river, a little bridge of dappled gray stone. Tori felt her feet take an unconscious step forward, sinking under the damp grass that lined the edge. _

"_Tori."_

_Tori looked up from the flowing, rippling eddies of the river; the shimmering, arrow-like shoals of fish had caught her eye as they darted through the glassy water. Her eyes gazed across the band of shining water, to where someone— someone she felt her heart stop at seeing— was leaning against a towering oak tree. The leaves cast a beautiful pattern across her lovely features, the sheer green of forest matching her glowing eyes. _

"_Come across, Tori." The figure straightened, her hair the color of ravens' wings, outspread, unfurling with feathery wisps on her shoulders as she stepped to the side, her hands beckoning Tori. _

_Tori took a tentative step to the first rock, her arms stretching out for balance as she sought a way to still her trembling hands and make it across. The first rock wobbled a little as it took her weight, but it stayed firm. She hopped easily across the broader rocks, but on the last one, it shook violently and overturned, sending her toppling toward the water. _

_Her screech was cut off abruptly— sending clouds of robins and bluejays flurrying up from the trees— as a hand gripped her arm and hauled her up seconds before she plunged into the strong current. The hand felt like ice, and she shivered, not unpleasantly, as the owner of it pulled her close and hauled them both from the roaring river. _

"_Jade," Tori whispered in awe, for that was who it had been all along. The girl smiled at her— such a soft and warm smile, it looked almost alien on the rough, hardened face that Jade usually wore— and stepped away lightly, her eyes softly gleaming._

_Tori could only stand, trembling in Jade's arms, as the eyes of emerald ice traveled across her face, taking in every detail with quiet, mysterious elegance._

_Tori had never been able to see with great detail in her dreams, so the beauty of Jade was magnified tenfold, a hundredfold. Her eyes were gently smudged, almost catlike— emerald and sapphire, two beautiful gems— casting pale shadows cascading onto the moon-like white skin of her cheeks. Her collarbone curved upward to meet the shadowy skin under her jawline, her shoulders sloping downward as she took a breath. _

_Jade pulled her close, her breath warming Tori's neck as she inclined her head, lips pressing hotly to her madly beating heart, which was currently screaming frenzied words in her throat. _

"_Indeed."_

"_But I'm dreaming."_

"_What else would you be doing, Vega?"_

_Tori's heart fluttered in confusion, but all her thoughts were wiped away as Jade's face came closer, her eyes searching Tori's. Her eyelashes brushed the bottom of her eyelid as she blinked. _

"_Tori," Jade said softly, her lips brushing her neck. "Wake up. It is not your time to come to the world of the dead yet." _

"_If this is the world of the dead," Tori said softly, her heart racing, "Then why are you…?"_

"_This isn't the me you know. This is the part of me that died four years past," Jade said sadly, stepping back and spreading her arms. "And this is the me I want you to find, to heal and bring back to life."_

_She smiled, the same sadness flickering underneath, and the glow of warmth and quietly hopeful pale green eyes were the last thing Tori saw before all was dark._

**EXTRA long chapter for you guys! I figured almost killing Tori compensated for it, (and chopping an essential limb off one of the main characters is pretty angst-y too) but I expect longer reviews!**

**Thanks to the following who have been here since day one:**

**Invader Jonny**

**ScottyBGood**

**Azkadellio**

**Dustin Justice**

**Thank you all so much, your reviews mean so much to me :) 3**

**Consider answering these in your reviews: What do you think of Jade softening up toward Tori? Is it realistic enough? Do you think hospital procedures were okay?**

**Were you confused at the part when Tori wakes up from after surgery? (I tried to make it sluggish, I guess, and I don't know if it worked.)**

**What are your feelings toward Tori being crippled now?**

**And did you like the detailed dream and the end with Jade's admission? :) Thanks!**


	10. Tell Me

CHAPTER TEN

**Hi guys, no thanks for the NOT positive reviews! D: Y'all don't need to be so upset over Tori. She WILL be okay and she WILL be able to still help Jade out, sheesh! I had a point for doing this, one you'll see. It may be soon, may not be soon, or even could be in the sequel- but I promise it's there.**

**The updates might be a little late now— my life is turning into hell, unfortunately— and I get to vent through writing, so things could get dark and angst-y soon.**

**BUT I JUST LOVE JORI FLUFF LIKE WE'LL SEE HERE ASDJFKL;WQ :D 3**

**JORI FLUFFFFFFFIIIINEEESSSSSS GALORE**

Jade loved the rain.

She didn't like big storms, or the lightning and thunder that accompanied it; no, she was very particular.

She liked the rainstorms, only them: thick, dark clouds that hid the sun, darkening the sky and sending rain pouring down like tears; the wind that lashed the ground and sent sweeping curtains of rain to thrash the grass in ruffled waves of steely gray.

But no matter how much she stared at the rain that pounded the thick panes of the hospital windows, she couldn't get rid of her relentless thoughts. Thoughts of Tori.

Tori, with her lovely warm eyes, her glowingly bronze skin, her laughter and her optimism… her determination. She hadn't given up on Jade.

And that thought alone comforted her more than anything, comforted her more than it should.

She couldn't deny her growing feelings for Tori, no matter how much she tried. She always had to suppress a smile when Tori turned her way, always had to refrain from saying how she felt.

She looked up coldly as Andre shook her shoulder gently.

"Jade, we're going to Karaoke Dokie to lay back and take a break from the past few days. Wanna come?"

Jade opened her mouth, prepared to tell him no, but then a voice spoke in the back of her head.

_You need a night away from your thoughts, away from Tori, and a night to just chill with your friends. You need a night away from all… this, and maybe your head will clear and these feelings will go away. _

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll come, as long as I can drive."

"It's a deal."

Six hours later, Jade cruised down the road, rolling her eyes as Cat started babbling loudly about how she had bought a ten-pound bag of bibble.

"Goddamn, Cat, you're gonna be as fat as a cow if you keep that up!" Jade interjected, turning into Karaoke Dokie. "You have a serious addiction with bibble. It's like cocaine or something to you—"

Cat pouted, eyebrows drawing together in a doleful expression. "I can't help it! It's so good! Maybe if I bring some to Tori, it'd cheer her up…"

"No!" Andre shouted, his voice panicked. "The last thing we need right now is Tori to be fat."

Jade smirked and pulled the car into a halt, locking it and slamming the door as she climbed out into the chilly night air. Gusts of wind threw the last traces of a rainstorm in her face, pushing back her hair.

_Like wings, raven wings unfolding into the night. _

Her combat boots slapped against the slick pavement that led into the thumping, noisy interior of Karaoke Dokie; she could hear the excited chatter of Robbie and Cat behind her, and with a quick shove of the door, she entered the loud, cavernous room.

She had never really been one for bright color, but she couldn't deny the sheer dizzying thrill of the place. It wiped clean her dismay and sense of impending dread, and filled it with the here and now.

She could _feel _the thick thunder of voices and music; it vibrated in her toes and coiled, not unpleasantly, up into her head, muddling her thoughts.

"Take my bag," She said to Beck, shoving it at him with a curl of her lip. "I'm going to sing."

"I thought you—"

"I want to sing," she snapped, turning away. People parted to form a path for her— they usually did, with her looks of a deadly reptile about to strike, like she was a damn rattlesnake— and she stormed up to the DJ.

She turned on her phone and dialed in a number, hands shaking as she wondered if she'd gone insane to do this.

Probably she had.

Tori picked up on the fourth ring, her voice sleepy. "Jade?"

"We're at the Karaoke Dokie, Vega, and I'm about to go on… I want you to listen to this song." She put her phone down before she could hear Tori's reply, and she laid it next to the DJ, with firm instructions: 'Don't touch my phone or I'll shove my scissors up your ass—' and then she stepped up to the stage.

"Cue up—" She looked down at the list of songs, flipping through all of them until she found one she liked. "TI76."

The DJ nodded, his eyes scared, probably from her threat, and on the computer as he turned on the music to it. Jade wondered if she was suffering brief insanity— she had asked Tori to listen to this— this breaker in the 'friendship' they'd formed.

She whipped the microphone from its shiny black holder and brought it to her lips, taking a breath as she swallowed and began the song.

"The situation turns around

Enough to figure out

That someone else has let you down

So many times

I don't know why…"

Cheering had started, but she pushed it away, her eyes fluttering shut as she struck the next line, her feelings overwhelming her.

"But I know we can make it as long as you say it

So tell me that you love me— yeah

And tell me that I take your breath away

And maybe if you take one more then I would know for sure

There's nothing left to say

Tell me that you love me anyway,"

"So tell me that you love me anyway

Whoa whoa oh

Waking up beside yourself

And what you feel inside

Is being shared with someone else

Nowhere to hide

I don't know why

But I know we can make it as long as you say it

So tell me that you love me yeah

And tell me that I take your breath away

And maybe if you take one more then I would know for sure

There's nothing left to say

But tell me that you love me anyway

Show me look what we found turn it around every day

I can hear what you say

Now I know why, know we can make it

If you tell me that you love me yeah

And tell me that I take your breath away

And maybe if you take one more...

So tell me that you love me yeah

And tell me that I take your breath away

Maybe if you take one more then I would know for sure

There's nothing left to say

But tell me that you love me anyway."

She dipped her head graciously to the thunder of applause and dismounted the stage, her hair curtaining over her eyes as she set foot beside the table. Her hands trembled as she picked up the phone, heart hammering against her ribs as she saw the call was still on, that Tori hadn't hung up.

"Tori?" She said into the speaker, her voice breaking. _Breaking like cracking ice._

"Jade…" Tori replied immediately, her voice awed. "That… was that for me?"

"You need to know." Jade said simply, her heart feeling like it was plummeting into the depths of the sun.

"Come to the hospital," Tori's voice was shaky, wind-tossed and full of excited fear over the line. "Please…"

Jade said nothing, only gently pulled the cool screen from her ear and ended the call, her mind whirling like it had been caught up in a hurricane of emotion and thoughts.

Tori had taken fire and tossed it right at her, and now…

All her ice was falling to broken, melting shards at her feet. She stood in a puddle of what she once was.

Jade shoved through a cluster of people, her eyes stinging painfully. She stopped in front of Beck. "Give me my bag," she snapped, shoving out a pale arm at him.

He gave her a suspicious look, but handed it over. "You better watch what you're doing, Jade—" he said, his hair shadowing his narrowed eyes as she stormed past him. "—This is a dangerous path you walk."

She whipped around, eyes shooting fire as she opened her mouth to retort angrily, but he had already melted back into the crowd.

Jade swallowed and emerged into the parking lot, a frown creasing her face as she saw rain had begun to lash down again.

Well, it wasn't like a little rain would stop her from getting to Tori.

In fact, nothing short of an apocalypse could stop her.

Tori sat up in her cot, her heart hammering, mouth dry as sandpaper. She shot another glance at the shadowy shape of her phone, the small flat shape cloaked in darkness.

Night had fallen outside, with blurred moonlight pouring through the dusty window of her hospital room. It rippled palely on the tiled floor, speckled with the opaque shadows of raindrops. The dull roar of rain outside had created a lulling sound, coaxing her into sleep, but she couldn't sleep now. Not when she knew who was on her way.

Tori dared to look outside the window again. Upon her request, the doctors had moved her cot right next to little square of glass, so she could see any cars coming and going in the parking lot. Right now, all she could make out were the lump-like shadows of the vehicles parked outside, their forms blurring with spiraling wind and lashing rain.

Tori sighed and lay back down, her head hitting the downy pillow with a soft thud. She stared at the ceiling dully, tears pricking her eyes. The realization of what she had lost was hitting her hard— it had seemed so unreal before because it had been there— and she couldn't help but feel the emptiness where her leg had been. It gaped like a hole, mocking her. She couldn't escape the swallowing, yawning fear that consumed her: she'd never walk again, never chase her dreams on the stage.

She knew of the stories where amputees could feel the missing limb, but right now those stories seemed farther away than the distant stars.

With nothing else to think of, her mind wandered to the dream she had woken up from hours before. She usually forgot dreams when she awoke, the tiny details slipping through her fingers like water— but this had been different. She remembered every word, every sensation.

Jade.

Tori knew she was falling for the dark beauty, and that terrified her more than her accident, scared her out of her mind. Jade was already so hurt, and Tori didn't want to break her any more.

And she felt like the glow of green eyes was burnt into the back of her eyelids; she could see the cat-like gleam every time her eyes shut.

Tori shot back up, her eyes straining in the dark as the door in her room opened a fraction, a sliver of yellow light appearing in the wall of darkness. A tall figure slipped through the door, closing it softly, her eyes glinting in the half-light.

"So tell me that you love me," Jade sang softly as she came through the darkness, sitting on the edge of the cot, her eyes unreadable as she tilted her head at Tori. The moonlight cast shadows that obscured her face, smudging dark and light on her pale features.

"And tell me that I take your breath away," Tori said back softly, awestruck at the beautiful figure sitting on her cot, looking at her like she was all that existed, all that mattered. She leaned forward, gasping a little as her body twinged with pain. She almost fell over— she wasn't used to this imbalance on one side of her body— and took Jade's icy hand in hers, searching the deep, shadowed pools of emerald and sapphire.

Both were gems, like Jade.

Jade looked down. "I don't know why you've broken down my walls," she murmured, "But you have." She looked up, fear gripping her gaze. "You have to help me, Tori," she said softly. "I'm so sick of being broken. So fucking sick of it."

"I'll do whatever I can," Tori whispered.

Jade's head turned away. "Thank you."

"Jade, why do I feel so nervous whenever you get near me?" Tori blurted out, face heating with a blush.

"I swear to God, my sultry looks are causing people to drop for me left and right," Jade said wryly, but her eyes flashed nervously.

"Har-dee-har," Tori said sarcastically. "So funny I forgot to laugh."

The next moment— like the first time, Tori wasn't sure who had initiated it, only that it felt good, better than anything, knocking her breath from her lungs— Jade's hands were tangled in her hair, circling her neck, icy fingertips dancing across her collarbone and jawline and making her shudder apart in the slender, pale fingers. Lips pressed hotly against hers, moving and gasping. She was like an instrument and Jade was playing her in exactly the right way, melody soaring from her.

She'd never felt so… right.

Tori pulled back with a gasp, lungs burning from lack of oxygen. When she flicked her tongue across her lips, she could taste Jade there— a combination of sharp wintry ice and cool mint, of fresh streams trickling glassily down a forest and the jabbing peaks of snowy mountaintops. Jade's eyes were watching her with something akin to awe, and Tori found her eyes wandering over the way her skin sloped down to meet her sternum, pale in the rain washed room, dappled with shadow—

"For God's sake, Tori, take a breath before you pass out."

Tori realized she had been swaying dangerously, her vision flecked with white, and she inhaled until her ribs ached, heart flurrying madly against them.

"Jade," She breathed, body tingling, neck shivering from the feel of icy fingers brushing against her sensitive nape.

"Tori," Jade said back— her voice was obviously struggling to stay calm— but it failed, trembling as she met Tori's stunned gaze. Her eyes dropped, voice cracking. "Fuck." She looked away, standing abruptly.

"What?" Tori struggled to sit up, well aware that if Jade decided to leave, there was nothing she could do, short of hopping one-legged after her.

"I _don't _like you," Jade said, her back to Tori. "This is not fucking good. This can't be happening."

"Jade, don't do…" Tori gestured hopelessly. "…this. Don't spazz out on me. I need you to be the strong one for a little while…" She looked down where the covers settled emptily on where there had once been a limb, and fear suddenly plunged into her, like meteors crashing into earth. "… And oh my God, I'm so scared, Jade, I'm terrified. What's going to happen to me?"

She knew her words were true, and they poured out brokenly; she couldn't stop them. "What if I can't walk again, what if I never can become a singer— what if—" She choked a wailing sob and buried her head in her hands.

She heard the bed squeak as Jade crossed over and sat beside her, arms encircling her as she finally let out all her fear and misery in a messy cry, her shuddering limbs shaking the bed.

"Shh."

Jade's lips pressed to her ear, arms holding her tight. "I know you're scared," she whispered. "I know how it feels. I've been scared too, Tori." Her voice shook. "God, I've been more scared than you have, and I… I haven't completely fallen apart yet, have I?"

Tori shook her head mutely, dropping her head and burying it in between Jade's neck and shoulder, her breath coming out in shaking gasps. "Why did this have to happen?"

"I don't know, Tori." Jade's hand rubbed her back in a comforting motion, circles and patterns tracing a story of pain on her spine. "Damnit, I.. I just don't know."

**Like I said, updates might not be as frequent. Likely they'll be once or twice a week now~  
**

**If you're reading this, please review so I can get a rough idea of how many readers I'm writing for!**


	11. Falling Angels

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**I know I private messaged some of you asking about 1st person POV, but I had up to here already written when I did that. **

**To everyone else reading: I'm switching this all to 1st person points of view. My reason is because I write a hell of a lot better in 1st person and Heal should be the best it can be. If you're confused, things WILL smooth over!**

**Onward!**

**TORI'S POV:**

I wake up abruptly the next morning, my heart hammering as I look around. The rainstorm has not stopped, clouds still blanket the sky in dull hues of steel and black, and the stingingly icy drops of precipitation are frosting the window in jagged silvery stripes, cold to the touch.

Jade has pulled a hard-backed chair next to my cot. She is sleeping in it quietly, chest rising and falling evenly, faintly, her eyelashes flickering as if she is in a dream.

As I watch, enraptured, eyes drinking in her beauty, she stirs. Her hair tumbles from her shoulder as she straightens, a yawn parting her mouth as she blinks unevenly.

When she sees me, her eyes open wider and the storm clouds in them clear. She gets up from the chair; I can see that her movements are stiff and hurting her from staying in such a position all night.

"That must have been uncomfortable," I say, feeling painful twinges in the bound stump that was once my leg. The doctors had removed it just below the knee, which I was grateful for; I hadn't lost it all.

She shakes her head, hair fanning out in luxurious dark curls. "I wasn't thinking about it," she replies, "My mind was occupied with… other things." Her eyes dart down to my lips, which leaves me fumbling and blushing at her smooth words. "After you fell asleep, the doctor came in. Said he'd gotten the prosthetic in. They'll be strapping it on today, and letting you use it for a week. You'll be going home soon."

Her words strike me hard, leaving me aching for life to be back to normal.

But it won't. Not really. Everything has changed.

"Thank you for last night," I say softly. Her eyebrow perks up, the silver stud arching with it.

"What for?"

I draw my eyebrows together, remembering the way her lips felt against mine, her arms circling my neck. "Everything. I was feeling out of sorts, and you… you helped me with that."

She laughs, a jubilant, smooth sound like quicksilver, her teeth showing in a smile. "Good to know."

We both jump as the door clangs hollowly, someone knocking forcefully on the outside. I pull the sheets up, run my hands through my hair, and straighten my shirt. "Come in!" I shout at the door, sharing a confused glance with Jade. Surely the doctors wouldn't be knocking this early in the morning?

The door swings open, and Beck steps through.

**-oOoOoOoOoOoOo-**

I am aware, as soon as the first glimpse of his fluffed-up hair and solemn face poke through, of Jade stiffening beside me. Her jaw settles in a frown, eyes narrowing slightly as he leans against the doorframe.

"Beck," she says coolly, meeting his eyes. I can see anger and questions swimming, flickering like minnows in the depths of pale green and blue, but I just give a sidelong look, hoping she can keep her temper.

"Jade," he responds flatly. "I want to talk to Tori. Alone."

The emphasis on the last word is hard to miss, and it clearly gets under Jade's skin, digging like a knife, probing and angry. She rises from her chair, heated fury lighting her gaze as she takes a threatening step forward. I cough lightly, and she swivels around, eyes boring into me.

I shake my head slightly, hoping she gets the message. With a withering look at Beck, she leaves the room, slamming the door behind her and rattling the frame hollowly.

My voice is dry as dust in my mouth. "Hi, Beck," I say, attempting to be cheerful and woefully ignorant. "What brings you here?"

His face is wrinkled in a frown. The expression seems so foreign on his usually kind and open face, that it leads me to wonder: why is he here? Why is there sadness and confusion in his eyes? What has— oh no.

It hits me then, and only then do I remember how truly smart Beck is. He's very intuitive, able to pick up on undercurrents of emotion easily, able to draw conclusion from a single motion.

A string of swear words flies through my mind as I meet his gaze, but all he does is sit stiffly on the chair Jade was on, his knees knocking together.

"I'm glad that you're okay," he says, avoiding my question and my gaze. "I helped the paramedics get you in the ambulance." He plasters on a fake, forced smile; it looks more like a grimace. "You ruined my favorite jacket."

I shrug apologetically. "My bad. Thank you for… for helping." I feel my heart fluttering madly, nervousness coursing in my veins. His brown eyes are dull and lifeless, but he doesn't look angry, just resigned. Like he's already guessed what I feel for his ex-girlfriend— the fiery emotion, what I can't put a name to.

"I've noticed you made a new friend," he says awkwardly, hands wringing together. "I…"

"She's a good person once you see past the anger," I input quietly, suddenly needing to defend her. "I can't imagine why you let her go."

His hair flips to the side as his head snaps up angrily, nostrils flaring, eyes sparking with irritation. "I let her go, Tori, for a reason I'm sure you'll see soon if you keep on like this."

I find myself struggling up, my body swaying for balance as the stump where a leg was digs into the bed as I glare at him. "No, I don't see, I'm afraid." Hostility pulses through me, the commanding desire to defend Jade rushing into my head, heating my ears. "What did she even do?"

"She was so convinced she was set apart and broken," he snarls, his lip raising as his eyes pierce into me vindictively. "When all she went through was a divorce and a mildly abusive father— like that's nothing no one else has gone through! She was so overdramatic about something so little, she was so closed off and convinced I couldn't help her— so iced over, so given up."

My heart stops as I realize he knows nothing about that scar on the back of Jade's neck, doesn't know where it came from. Doesn't know it came from a cold knife and a snowy alley four years ago. He only knows the top-story, and that scares me. Jade trusted me with something she hasn't told her boyfriend of three years— and that knowledge is exhilarating and dizzying all at once.

"No," I say softly. "No, I think you hurt her even more than you ever knew, she's more hurt about—" I break off the sentence, remembering how I swore I wouldn't tell anyone.

Beck's eyebrows dig together over his nose, eyes piercing, as if he's trying to make me understand. "Tori. Jade has up so many brick walls— if I couldn't get past them, I doubt you will—"

I hold up a hand to silence him. "Maybe it takes a different kind of resilience, Beck. Maybe it takes someone who sees past the black clothing and mean jibes and mask of ice, to someone kind and loving and strong." I frown, fingers tracing circles, little patterns on the bedsheets. "I just don't know how to bring that person out."

Beck stands abruptly, his hands clenching at his sides. A hiss escapes through his clenched teeth, his eyes sad. "You can't bring back something that never existed, Tori."

After a long look, he leaves, his back slouched in defeat as he shuts the door behind him. I know I ought to feel guilty, but I don't— only a possessive feeling, like Beck's trying to ruin or take what's mine. _Mine._

Despite what he's said, I _know _that he's wrong. That Jade, the one that felt and had feelings that weren't iced over, she existed— exists— living underneath thick ice _a_nd darkness. I've seen her shining through, when Jade talks to me, when she is there for me, when she confides in me— and I think, with a painful swallow, when she kissed me.

Jade does care. I know she does. I see the gleam in her eye when she looks at me, hear the pound of her heart when I draw near.

I know what it feels like to have a crush on someone. The butterflies, the way your eyes are drawn to them, the excitement.

And I am feeling that whenever I see her.

I don't want it to be true— God knows that it could hurt my career, what with the world being so stubborn about it all— but I can't deny what's growing inside of me, twining around my bones and through my veins and constricting my heart.

I am falling in love with Jade West.

I'd always expected it to be some handsome, ruffle-haired boy— maybe one that looked like Beck. I had a crush on him for a few weeks, but then I saw the softer side of Jade, and that knocked him out of my range of interest— one that would smile and make me swoon, some guy that was quiet and sweet and calm and steady.

Jade is none of those things. She's loud and sharp and wild and different. She's icy fire, dangerous and addictive and daring, she's darkness and blinding black light and cracked and beautiful in her own way. She's ever changing like the tide and darker than night, her light shining only to me. She's singing a song only I can hear. It's a song I love, one I could listen to for an eternity.

Her smile is like a cat playing with a mouse, a wolf chasing its prey. She is _unpredictable. _

And I find myself wanting to take the challenge, because Jade is worth it.

Jade was worth the car accident, she was— is— worth losing it all.

When she stalks back in, I'm still pondering it, and only her fingers snapping under my eyes jerk me back to reality.

I jump slightly, startled, meeting her gaze.

Her eyes, green like freshly unfurled leaves, stare daringly into mine. And underneath, I can see exactly what I've been feeling.

She's crushing too, plummeting like a fallen angel.

I'm gripped by an insane urge to just grab her and hold her and never let her go. I don't want to lose her.

I do the next best thing; I pull her closer and press my lips against hers. She freezes up, gasping against me, for a moment— ice in my hands— and then she melts into it. My hands curl protectively around her shoulder blades, heart racing against the hollow bars of my ribs. She opens up to me with a muted gasp, and we break apart after what seems like an eternity.

"Lusty Tori is something I never thought I'd see," she breathes, her eyes captivating me as her chest heaves with a breath. She's so flawlessly beautiful, radiant like the silvery gray and cream orb that hovers in the sky each night.

I breathe out softly, my hands still wrapped around her. My courage fails me as her eyes pierce mine; I cannot say my feelings, so I look away.

"This might not work," she says, feather-soft, like comforting words brushing my ear. "With the world being so narrow minded and stupid about it all."

"But we can try anyway," I tell her.

"Okay," she agrees, "We can give it a shot," and I can't help thinking—

Her smile is like the moon.

**JADE'S POV:**

Most people have ulterior motives for all they do. They do something to gain— your pity, your money, anything. I've always been convinced that the reason to help someone is for greed. And most of the time, I've been right.

But Tori… I just can't imagine her helping me because of that. She's doing it because she honestly wants to and she cares about me— I've seen it in her eyes.

She's turning me around. She's the cure, the cast for the broken bones of me. It'll take time to heal, but I will.

I have to believe that.

The rest of the day is spent with her testing out her new prosthetic. She limps slowly, hesitantly around the hospital rehab room, her leg shaking from slightly deteriorated muscles, and smiles a wavering grin at me. I give a curl of my lip and she slowly steps across the polished hardwood, her arms extended for balance. This leg is metal and Plexi-glass, much lighter material than flesh and bone, but she's handling it well. The doctors put on fake skin over it so it looks somewhat real, and for that I am grateful. Tori needs some normalcy over the shock of the last month.

It's been a month since all this happened. She healed so quickly— I can only hope the same for myself.

But then again, physical wounds always are easier to cure than emotional scars.

The Vega family had to pay a lot of money for her hospital stay— I'm not proud to admit that I pitched in some cash to the hefty fee— but it was worth it, I think, watching Tori walking more steadily, more surely, across the room. She still stumbles and falls every so often, and moving up uneven slopes like stairs and such will be tough— but she can do it. I know she can.

The doctor is sending her on her way now. She can go home.

She doesn't need me anymore.

No, I tell myself, she does. She _wants _me— we've bonded over more than friendship, which terrifies more than it should. I'm Jade West. Tough as nails. Not afraid of anything.

Tori's changed that too. I don't want to ever lose her. She needs me, wants me, and I need her. I want her.

I feel it in every unwanted pound of my heart, intake of breath, every look she gives me from eyes like the sun and earth, warm, rich brown flecked with gold.

As we all trek out to the parking lot, her family is surrounding her, our friends, all of them exclaiming over what a miracle it is.

As the sun finally breaks the bank of steely clouds and illuminates Tori's face to a glowing gold that reminds me of angels, I allow myself to think that maybe miracles do exist.

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

**So tell me. Did you like 1st person POVs better? Worse? Tell me in reviews what you think of the chapter!**

**And personally, I just love the line I ended this chapter on. I mean, I almost never feel smug, but this time I do :)**


	12. Melted

CHAPTER TWELVE

(TORI'S POV)

I emerge from the warmth of my house into the blue sky and thawing atmosphere. Winter is drawing to a close, and the air carries a brisk chill that bites through the wool of my sweater, causing goosebumps to run up my arms and down my leg as I gently close the door behind me. The backpack seems heavier, unbalanced, as it hangs from my shoulders— everything will have to take some adjusting to, but I'm sure I can do it.

Trina is already waiting in the car. I can see her fixing her makeup from here, and I grin slightly— everything might have changed, Trina might have sprained an ankle and I have lost one, but she's still oblivious and conceited. I don't know if that's comforting or annoying, anymore.

I feel my heart pounding unnaturally loudly as I step into the car. I can see Trina is less confident as well— her fingers fumble as she stuffs the key into the ignition, and she is swallowing nervously— but we'll be fine. The big man in the sky, I think with a smile, wouldn't be so cruel as to wreck us again.

As the car thrums from the bumpy driveway and onto the already-busy road, Trina glances over at me. I can see questions already forming, so I sit back and summon all of my patience.

"You okay, Tor?"

She's in big-sister mode. The one where she cares and isn't extremely annoying— well, no more than usual.

"I'm fine. A little unbalanced, but I'll be okay. My friends will help me adjust to this."

Trina's eyes dig together in a frown as she turns onto another road, questions sparkling in her eyes. "Especially that freaky one, hm?"

"Her name is _Jade_," I snap a little too quickly, and then, with a glower at Trina, "And she's _not_ freaky."

Trina rolls her eyes, flipping a noncommittal hand. "Yeah, yeah_, whatever_. My point is, a month ago you two couldn't even be in the same room without her practically spitting fire at you, and now you two are best buds." Her dark eyes switch over to me. "And maybe even more, with the way she looks at you."

I'm reminded quite forcefully that while Trina may be completely obnoxious, she isn't stupid when it comes to these things. I'm immediately defensive. "What's that supposed to mean?" I spit angrily, shoving back in my seat as I glare at her.

"She keeps looking at you like you're her— her lover or something," Trina snaps back, cheeks blushed, "And I don't like it."

My mouth drops open, face flushing hotly. "That's so _stupid, _Trina—"

She cuts me off with a swipe of her of arm. "You're into chicks? Fine." Trina says, flipping a dismissive hand at me. "I don't mind that. What I do mind, though, is how this Jade was treating you like nothing and now after you were wrecked she's all over you. I want you to be sure, Tor, she's not just pitying you or using you for— for God knows what."

I think of how Jade has trusted me. I think of how she has opened, even if only a little, to me. I think of her lips on mine.

And I say, "No, she's not." My head shakes once, twice, firmly. "She wouldn't _do _that, Treen."

Trina doesn't look convinced, but she puckers her lips and says no more, only giving a disbelieving toss of her head and pulling into Hollywood Arts. My heart is already pounding in anxiety and excitement, wondering how school has proceeded. I've missed a month— hopefully I don't have to make up that work, or I'll be doomed— and things are bound to have changed.

As soon as I stumble in the front doors, eyes are on me, and then on the stiff metal prosthetic. They try to hide it, but I can see discreet glances, whispering, and I don't want their pity. It feels worse knowing they think less of me.

I hold my head high, stalking toward my locker with shaky legs and fluttering heartbeat. My eyes nearly pop from my head when I see the balloons and abundance of cards hanging from my locker; the '_Make It Shine'_ is completely covered with 'Get Well Soon' and sympathy papers. I smile so wide, my muscles feel like they need more space to stretch. It's a good feeling, knowing I was missed, was worried over.

"_Tori!"_

I stagger back as Cat slams into me, squealing her excitement that I'm here. I laugh and push her off gently, my leg wobbling uncontrollably as I clutch the rim of the locker for balance.

"Did you miss me?" I chuckle, as she squeezes me in a huge hug.

"Totally!" She says happily. "We were all so worried, lunch was _no_ fun because Jade was really quiet and snappy if you talked to her, and Andre and Robbie and Beck would just worry over you the whole time, I worried too but I didn't wanna be sad and—"

I cut her off. "Take a breath, Cat, before you spontaneously combust." I smile at her as she inhales a huge breath before continuing.

"But it hasn't been much fun here without you."

I return her hug. "I'm glad to be back so soon." Detaching myself from her, I shove my backpack in my locker and grab my phone and binder, limping down the hall as Cat chatters on. I'm not hearing her— she's talking about some new guy she met— and I push open Sikowitz's door, not sure what to expect.

I certainly am not expecting the explosion of noise as I enter the room. People are giving me welcomes and shouts and hugs as I stumble back from the sheer force of it. I smile politely, and return the greetings, quietly limping to my seat and slumping gratefully in the plastic surface.

Two hands land on my shoulders as I slide down. I strain my neck, trying to see who it is, when a voice floats down. Jade. "Rocking that leg, I see."

I grin. "It's not as pretty as my real one was, but it'll do." I waggle an eyebrow at her and give her a mischievous look. "Plus, I don't have to shave it."

She grins half-way and throws a glance around before dropping into the seat next to me, the set of her jaw and the glare of her eyes warding off any curious looks from our classmates. Sikowitz has clapped for attention, a coconut balanced in his right hand as he signals with his left.

"Alright, alright, that's enough!" He says loudly. "We're all very glad that you have recovered safely, Tori, and we're sorry for your loss—"

"It's not like anyone died," Jade mutters beside me. "Oh, wait, except for the—" Here she says a word I don't want to repeat, "— that hit you."

"Jade!" I hiss at her, lightly hitting her shoulder. She smirks and folds her arms, shooting me a smug look.

"What? You_ know_ it's true."

I roll my eyes and face Sikowitz again, unable to contain the smile that forms on my face as I slide a glance at Jade.

An hour later, the class has ended and I am shoving my way out the door, smiling as Cat practically trips over Andre trying to hold open the door for me.

"Thanks, Cat," I say, limping out and jerking as a hand closes around my shoulder, another arm barring my way. I turn to see Beck looking down his nose at me, eyes sad. Cat bounds away, leaving me alone with him.

"Tori," he says quickly, before I can get a word in, "I'm sorry for being so… so…"

"Such a wazzbag douche?" I supply, shifting my weight and shooting him a meaningful look. He frowns guiltily, folding his arms.

He nods. "Yeah. I was. I— I let Jade go." He swallows. "If you… form something with her, it's not on my say-so." He frowns. "I'm sorry," he repeats.

I tilt my head up. "It's okay," I say. "I accept it. Thank you, by the way."

He ducks his head and exits the room, saying nothing. His hair falls, reminding me dark rain, covering his expression. 

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Tori's being strong. I can see the looks of pity are getting to her, but she takes it all with grace, smiling and thanking everyone for their concerns. I don't know how she does it; I would have lashed out hours ago.

I fold my arms across the lunch table, the intersecting bars pressing into my skin as I lean forward, hair brushing my face as it tumbles forward.

"My brother got out of his asylum facility yesterday," Cat is saying.

Tori gives her a quizzical look. "Why was he in there in the first place?"

I reach over and snag a fry from her tray. She gives me an indignant look, but it falls away and she grins, pulling the tray out of my reach.

"He couldn't go outside without trying to climb buildings," Cat replies seriously, her eyes wide. "He was _convinced_ that he was Spiderman."

I choke on the fry, coughing as a laugh bursts out. "Sorry," I say thickly, swallowing.

Cat babbles on, and I tune out of the conversation, my eyes drifting to rest on Tori's face. I never really noticed how beautiful she really is— not hot, that's too crude a word for her, not good looking— she's _perfect. _Her hair is a warm color, reminding me of caramel falling down in sticky strands, laced with different shades of dappled, swirling, cascading brown. Her skin is a golden-bronze I used to envy, her smile lighting and stretching across her face as she laughs at what Cat has said.

And though I don't want to, though I hate doing it, I'm falling in love with her.

I never have been one for denial. I know what's beating in my chest when I see her, know why she captures me so fully, know why I see her in my dreams each night.

There is one good thing about this. Instead of being whisked back to a snowy, cold alley each night, now I see Tori when I fall asleep.

"Jade, you're staring."

I jerk back into reality as Cat shakes my shoulder. My gaze snaps from Tori to the table, and I brush Cat off. "I'm fine," I snap, cricking my neck from side to side. "I just spaced out for a second."

Cat shrugs but continues to chatter on. I focus my eyes on the table, blue bars melting into each other and interwoven like heartstrings, and wait for lunch to be over so I can stop thinking of Tori.

After the hour of lunch has ended, I stalk into the hall, my eyes sweeping side to side. I spot Tori right away, leaning against her locker and talking with Andre. Her smile is so beautiful, lighting up her face as she says something back and closes the blue metal door of her locker. The lights of 'Make it Shine' sputter on and softly glow off the ruffles of her shirt. I find my eyes drawn to every little detail of her.

I'm so enraptured, I don't see the jock advancing on her.

It's a tall kid, probably a senior. His shoulders are broad and his face is twisted in a cruel, leering snarl as he looks at Tori with contempt. He laughs sneeringly, like she's inferior. I can already feel my hands balling into tight fists, lip curling up in a bared snarl of anger, blood roaring in my ears as I watch to see when to intervene.

His eyes sweep up and down as she fiddles with the hem of her shirt, her smile wavering. She's clearly nervous, but she tries to be polite. "Um… hello?" She offers bravely, but her eyes are fearful.

_I'm going to break his goddamn nose if he does anything to her. _

He smirks at her, his hand on his hip. "I'm sorry. I didn't think Hollywood Arts was for _cripples," _he says dryly.

The smile drops completely from her face as she flushes, mouth dropping open. Andre takes a defensive step forward, his stance angry as he snaps something at the jock. Tori backs away, and her eyes look shocked and horrified as she stammers. "I—"

She doesn't get the chance to say anymore, because by then I have stormed over. I'm sure my eyes are radiating heated fury.

The jock looks down his nose at me, hazel eyes bored. "And who are—"

I grab him by the neck and shove him into the locker. He struggles weakly, stunned, as I jerk his collar forward and put my face right up to his.

"Listen up, and listen good_, buddy_," I snarl, giving him a shove for emphasis. "If I _ever _see or hear you talk to Tori again— if you so much as look at her wrong— I'll do more than shove you in a locker. If this school isn't for cripples, as you call her—" My eyes are shooting pure hatred— "Then I guess you'll have to leave too, because you'll lose more than a leg, you bastard."

He swallows, his eyes afraid. "Okay," he rasps, voice squeaking in fear. I jerk him toward Tori. "_Apologize_!"

"I— I'm sorry!" He chokes out. With a disgusted snort, I push him away. He almost trips over himself in his hurry to get away.

"Foxy," Andre chuckles. "Someone looked mad there."

I flip my hair over my shoulder, wiping the stray strands from my forehead. "He was pissing me off," I say simply. "Nobody is allowed to be mean to Vega but me."

Andre gives us both a curious glance and trots off, humming a tune as he disappears down a hallway.

"You look sexy when you're mad," Tori laughs. "No, seriously, thank you. I… I was scared there."

I tilt my head and smirk. "The jerk looked like he was about to pee himself."

Tori laughs, and as her hair falls over her shoulder, I can't help but notice how beautiful she really is.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

TORI'S POV

When it rains, the drops look like tears.

I lean back in my chair and raise an eyebrow at the striped pane of glass— the frosted window is jaggedly patterned with what can only be described as, well, tears. They hurl down like clear meteors, or falling stars, clear and shattering as they hit the ground with a sound as imperceptible as butterfly wings.

The thought of wings leads me to think of birds, bluejays and robins and then ravens, ravens with black, up stretching wings unfolding against a starry sky.

The black, wisp-like feathers on the very edge of the slicing wings remind me of Jade's hair.

Her hair, blacker than a slick of oil threaded with dizzying rainbow. The blues and greens that wind through the hair darker than the dead of night, those colors match her eyes.

I turn my thoughts back to the homework that lays on the table in front of me. School ended a few hours ago, and for some reason, I can't concentrate on my ever growing pile of homework, especially the terrible agony that is math. I usually excel at Calculus, but my thoughts are all over the place— and so I shove it away, kicking back onto the heels of the chair. It rocks dangerously, wobbling on the two back legs as I sigh loudly and furrow my brow in a frown.

"Screw this." I shove the homework away and breathe in loudly. When the chair falls back to the floor, my feet slamming with it, the hollow thud of my fake leg mocks me. That jock's words shoved straight to my heart, and I heave a breath as I think what he said might be true. There's never been a pop star missing a leg before…

_Ding-dong!_

I grit my teeth and stand awkwardly from the table, limping toward the ringing door, where someone is probably waiting outside. I'm ready to tell them off— we're not expecting anyone and there isn't mail today— but when I yank open the sheet of glossy oaken wood, my mouth set in an unforgiving line, the scowl drops from my face as I see it's Jade.

Her hair is sleek, dripping wet from the pouring rain as she tilts her head at me. Her eyes are probing, dropping for a fraction of a second to where the hollow metal and plastic of my prosthetic is knocking against the doorframe. I pull open the door wider, gesturing for her to come in.

How familiar this scene had become— me opening the door to Jade. It happens more often than not, which is a small miracle in itself, one I wouldn't even have considered a few months past.

But then Jade handed me a hammer and told me to smash open her icy mask, and I did that, and she's warmth and fire and so strikingly _real_ underneath— it just sends me into the sun, thinking about it.

"Someone looks sad," Jade comments, shaking the crystalline droplets from her tumbling hair. It reminds me of Tawny, when he pads in from the outside and fluffs his fur out, sparkling with rain against pitch-black fur. "Why?"

"Yeah, well, I'm having a lovely day today. Other than the fact that I hate this prosthetic and I keep having flashbacks of the wreck—" My breath hitches in my throat and I swallow thickly as my eyes twinge with tears and my nose burns. _God damn it._

"Tori, you think I don't have nightmares every day of having Beck call me and telling me you're in the hospital and dying?" She arches an eyebrow at me, her finger waggling in my direction. "I see that every day. And every day I'm thankful you weren't killed."

I breathe out through my nose, heart rate slowing. "True," I admit. "There's always that."

Jade falls back on my couch, the cushions bobbing under her weight. "Anyway, I came over to help you out with the leg. Doctors' orders." She smirks. "Well, at least I want to, anyways."

I start in surprise, swearing as the metal edge of the prosthetic catches against the table and I stumble forward, hands flying out as the floors races toward me. Jade is up, off the couch in the blink of an eye, helping me gain my balance. I can feel my face heating up and I blush furiously as she looks down at me.

"That was some smooth move, right there."

I laugh hollowly. "I'm surely going to be going onstage like this. Tori, the one legged pop star." My voice has a bitter, snarling razor edge that I hate, and I wince at it.

Jade pulls me closer, stroking my hair as I calm my breathing, white hot rage scorching my vision. I am suddenly blinded with anger at the driver. How selfish that driver was, to get drunk and then drive home so blatantly. He could have killed me, killed other people, and then—

I feel awful, mortified as soon as it hits me that the man I am furious at is dead, was killed agonizingly in an explosion of metal and fire. I had the good grace to only lose a leg. To lose my life… I shudder at the thought. How horrible.

Jade has gently guided me, maneuvering me over to the upward slope of the stairs. "I'm going to help you get up there," she says, nodding to indicate the top level of the house. "I'll stay right with you the whole way up."

I blink at her, glasses fogged from the rain and my own anger, now faded to uncertainty. "I'm scared. What if I fall?"

"You'll fall right into my arms," she assures me, helping me onto the first step. "Stop anytime you need."

I nod, my mouth dry as sandpaper, heart thrumming as I strain to lift myself onto the first step. It comes back; I've been walking these stairs my whole life— and I make it with only a little bit of wobble on the uneven balance from the prosthetic.

Jade's fingers are firm but not unpleasant on my shoulders as she rebalances me, her breath brushing the nape of my neck and sending goosebumps erupting down my arms.

I take the second, third, fourth, fifth steps without incident.

On the sixth, I land unevenly and topple backwards, right into Jade's arms. She staggers a little, her arms clenching painfully as she searches for balance; I am rigid in her grip as she sways and then clutches the stair-rail. After a few heart-stopping moments, she straightens me. "Go on."

I mumble an apology and take the next step tentatively. She is right beside me this time, her eyes on me, emerald and pale like spring grass as she urges me forward.

Finally, we make it to the top. Exhilarated, I grab her and hug her tightly— she freezes at first, and then slowly melts into the embrace. I can feel, can hear her heart racing against my chest, but it doesn't matter— mine is doing the same.

"You need to lay down, Tori, your strength is only just recovering, and you need rest."

"You just want to get me in bed," I grumble teasingly. A pale blush colors her cheeks but she says nothing, only helps me limp toward the cold, unused interior of my room.

Thin dust has layered the window and the air is musty, signaling how no one has been in here for weeks. Jade doesn't seem to notice— she just holds me as I lower myself onto the chilly top of the bed, the softness sinking under my weight— and I sigh in relief as my head hits the pillow. Jade cocks her head at me, lips twisting in a half-smile.

"Only you could nearly die and still come out beautiful," she says, and then her smile drops, eyes darkening. "_Shit_. I— I didn't mean to say that out loud."

"I appreciate the thought, Jade," I reply with a grin. "I'm happy my cheekbones are still wonderful."

She rolls her eyes. "And yet you still manage to be conceited through it all."

On an unspoken agreement, she sits beside me, her hair falling down in silky black and blue waves. She smells like lavender, gently rolling fields of purple and pale violet, with a blue sky soaring overhead.

My lips twist into a playful smile. "You seem tense."

I dive at her, hands digging into the ridged form of her sides as she lets out a shocked gasp and struggles out of my grip. She can't hold back a gasping laugh as my hands brush along the flat pane of her stomach; and I stop, looking down at her as she breathes heavily beneath me.

"I didn't know you were ticklish."

She struggles to escape, and then her hands fly up and wiggle along my ribs. I squeak and fall off, Jade looming over me, a smirk curling her lips upward. "The same to you."

I blow air out through my nose as her ice cold fingers send shivers brushing up my spine. I'm sure my own skin feels like fire— I can practically feel the heat emanating from myself, her fingers the opposite as they press coldly against me.

Jade leans down, her elbows propped on either side of me, her legs heavy across mine. Her soft exhale of breath is sending my heart skittering across my chest, and her eyes boring into mine. It's here when I get a good look at the eyes that have forever captivated me. She has the palest green color in them, green like pale grass, rimmed with darker emerald. Flecks of blue dance across the glowing sheen of color, and I can see her looking just as raptly into mine. I notice her full lips are slightly parted, slightly chapped and warm and I wonder why she's bending down as if—

Her lips meet mine halfway, and she rolls off her elbows, bringing me with her as we hit the bed with a soft muffled noise. She's got me locked in her arms, one hand tracing circles on my back as I shiver apart in her hands, other hand cupping my jaw as she tilts my face upward. I gasp as she runs her tongue along my bottom lip, opening up to her, and then I realize my vision is dancing with white.

I break away, taking a gulp of the stale air, my head spinning. I laugh as Jade gives me an annoyed look, frown furrowing her face. "Your lungs always seem to fail whenever this happens, Vega." She wiggles an eyebrow, the silvery gray studs above it peaking as she looks at me.

"Then I _hate_ my lungs," I rasp, my heart stuttering in a broken rhythm as she brings her face close to mine. Her eyelashes brush the top of her eyelid, full and dark, smudged black.

My heart stops when her lips press against mine, and even though it's not the first time, it feels like forever.

**Extra long chapter for all you lovely people, namely my faithful reviewers. Love y'all to bits!~~~**

**I'm not going to be doing a lemon, yet, because one of my friends (you know who you are) is reading this and keeps teasing me about it at school. **_**Darn **_**you, Bella! (just kidding, you know I love ya, thanks for being there for my agonizing over my life) **

**Plus, I don't want to go quite that far/quite that dirty in my writing, at least not today. Floody is **_**innocent! (**_**Well, at least physically….)**

**Remember to review!**


	13. Beaches and Promises

**Hey guys! Finally hit 100 reviews… wowza!**

**Next chapters till the end most likely will be bombshells (a.k.a; a LOT of new stuff happening in each one;) think of it as a twisty turny rollercoaster! No chapter will be boring or a filler. So… be prepared!**

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

I wake up with a gentle smile curling my lips, cold yellow light pouring over the bedsheets as I sit up, yawning. I extend my arms and glance to my left, grinning even further I see the quietly slumbering face of Jade.

After the events of yesterday afternoon, we hung out and talked, a silent agreement not to speak of her kissing me… even though I can't stop reliving it, over and over. I don't _want_ to forget it. Not a single detail. She slept over after the rain lashed out again during the night. The storm died away a few hours afterward, but… but she stayed anyways. She didn't leave. For me, I wonder? Or for her?

I let my eyes linger over her pale skin and slight upward turn of her mouth, as though she's dreaming of something peaceful. Her hair is rumpled, the abundance of thick black curls falling over her shoulders and chest, blue highlights shimmering like gossamer in the night.

As I watch, my eyes catching on every detail, heart in my throat, she stirs, eyes fluttering open and instantly focusing on me. She still looks sleepy— it intensifies the black smudge of mascara above the thick of her eyelashes— but she murmurs and rolls over again. I smile and laugh, shaking her. "Wake _up,_ you sleepy grunch."

She grumbles. I faintly catch her words— "I don't _want_ to,"— but she sits up with a wide yawn, slumping down. I can see the shadowy whiteness of her breasts, which makes me blush as she smirks at me.

"So what are we doing today?" she asks.

I furrow my brow. "W-what?"

She rolls her eyes. "Friends hang out together, and that's what you wanted," she clarifies with a sarcastic edge to her words, eyebrows raising skeptically. "It's Saturday, remember? I've got nothing to do today, other than waste time with an annoying Vega." She grins, a sharp upturn of her mouth.

I frown, thinking, biting the inside of my cheek. "We could hang out here. Talk. Watch cartoons."

She looks like she's about to serve up a barbed reply, so I cut in. "Like, y'know, normal friends do."

"That's boring as _hell_, Vega." She gives me a shove. "I've got a better idea. Get dressed."

I grin and awkwardly roll from the bed, limping over to my mirror. I look awful but insanely happy— rumpled, messy hair, matted eyelashes, and smudged makeup, but my eyes crinkle in a smile at the corners, and they twinkle in excitement. I'm looking forward to just spending a day with Jade. I've seen the real her, and she's fun. She's still got a sassy twist— that's what makes her Jade— but she's not cruel or icy like I assumed.

And she's a good kisser.

The thought makes me bite my bottom lip with a withheld embarrassed smile.

I pull a sweater from my drawers— it's one of those last, gripping winter days that makes cold bite deep into you— and snatch thick, kitten soft sweatpants that aren't fancy or anything, but they hide my legs and are an added comfort. Grabbing a light, worn jacket as an afterthought, I head into the bathroom to change.

When I come out, comfortably warm, leg hidden by the warm cloth, I smile at Jade and spread my arms. "So, _West._ Where are we going?"

She grabs me by the arm and tugs me to the door, unreadable. "I'm going to surprise you, _Vega. _Come on."

She wraps her arms around my hips and, much to my protest, carries me bridal style down the stairs because 'I would take to long getting down them myself'. I'm laughing all the while, and her eyes are twinkling as her arms curl comfortingly around my shoulder blades and legs.

And it's just perfect.

She drops me from her arms when we are by her car outside. The sleek back car is spattered with late raindrops from last night and the grass sparkles with dew, crystalline drops that wink and shimmer among a bed of green. With a click of her keys, she climbs in, signaling for me to get in the passenger side. The sky is a vivid blue overhead, wispy cirrus clouds feathering across the horizon, and the sun is pale— it's only ten in the morning— it softly illuminates Jade's face, which is softened in a rare half-smile.

The car is a dark convertible, and she rolls the top down. "Your hair is messy anyways," she says in response to my groan. "A little wind won't make any difference."

I lean back. "Fine."

She tosses me a strip of dark cloth. "Blindfold," she explains at my quizzical look. "I'm going to surprise you."

"You _better _not be taking me to a cemetery or anything." I say, giving her a raised eyebrow. She says nothing, just backs up from the driveway, and I tie it the square of material around my head, already smiling.

The whole ride, I can only see blurry shapes through the dark fabric. We drive for about ten minutes, and all the while Jade is humming quietly— joy clings to me as I realize she's orchestrating the tune to 'Tell Me That You Love Me.' She's probably not conscious of it, but it makes me deliriously happy for the same reason that my heart stutters whenever I'm near her.

The car turns, jerks to a halt, and she places a warm hand on my leg. "Take it off," she says mysteriously.

My hands go around the back of my hair, brushing strands from my forehead as I fumble with the loose knot. It falls away onto my lap, and my mouth drops as I goggle at the sight in front of me.

"Oh my God, Jade, you did _not," _I gasp. She chuckles, taking my hand and dragging me from the car.

I fumble through the pockets of the sweatpants, and I furrow my brow. "I don't have any money—"

"I'll pay. My treat."

She's taken me to a popular Hollywood boardwalk, one of my favorites. I can see the white foam of waves breaking on the distant beach, the salty smell of ocean salt drifting and melding with the sugary and buttered scent of cotton candy and popcorn. I spin on my feet, laughing as I take it all in. The slowly spiraling arch of a Ferris wheel catches my eye, and I grab Jade, running as fast I can manage on one leg and one prosthetic.

But now, I'm not complaining about the leg at all. Because being here, with Jade, on a beautiful day with a beautiful girl tops it all by a million.

She chuckles and pulls money from her pocket, handing it to the bored looking, elderly man in the ticket booth. He shoves two crisp white slips of paper toward us and waves us along, his eyes rolling as if he'd rather be anywhere but here. I smile broadly at him, and enter the boardwalk, old, musty wood under my feet creaking as I sweep my eyes around. The sky is feathered white and pale blue, the air cold and clear. I don't know where we should go first— everything is hooking, appealing to my eyes— but the line of the Ferris wheel is short, so I tug Jade's arm and signal towards it.

She shrugs me off. "If you're scared of heights and you start _clinging _to me, Vega, I swear to God—"

"I'm not," I say. You can hear the grin in my voice as we meander forward, entering the line. Jade's hand is around my hip— still she's protecting me— and I shiver at her touch. She's warmth, driving away the piercing cold of the outside world. I linger on the thought, my eyes darting over to Jade.

Her eyes are skyward, blue orbs of emerald ice on the clouds, face tilted toward the topmost rim on the slowly turning wheel. She looks sad, and even a little wistful, which makes me wonder if she's ever been here with Beck.

I can see her trying to be happy for my sake, forcing on a smile as we move forward in the line and show our tickets to the attendant managing the Ferris wheel. She nods and pushes us on through the gate, telling us to keep all body parts in the cart and to not lean out of it. I want to do the opposite, feeling like I could soar to the highest cloud just by raising a finger.

Jade helps me silently, her hands supporting me as I clamber into the swaying cart. My feet dangle just above the footrest, the seat cold and hard beneath me. It shakes slightly as Jade slides in beside me, smooth and silent, her face splitting in a grin as she clamps one hand around the supporting bar and another on my shoulder as she heaves herself in. "Never thought I'd say it, Vega, but I'm actually_ enjoying_ myself."

I look over at her and smirk, my hands curling around the frosty metal of the supporting bar. "That's an understatement, _West."_

She sticks out her tongue mockingly and I sock her playfully in the arm. Just as she's opening her mouth to retort, the cart jerks and starts to rise up and forward. I inhale a breath of the cool, crisp air as the ground falls away.

The wheel is quietly purring as it lifts us up, and my eyes rake across the color and life all around us, the birds winging by and the catcalls and laughs of people below beating in my ears like a heartbeat.

I think my heart decides to stop beating when Jade pulls me closer to her, my head resting on her shoulder as we hit the highest point on the ride.

The buildings below look like toys, and the people small as ants. There's me, Jade, and the passing birds, all of Hollywood stretching away like a blueprint as I look up at Jade's peaceful expression. Her eyes dart down toward me, and I can't help but hold her tighter as we slowly spiral back down, her arm snaking around my shoulders.

It's probably the best day of my life. This day tops even when I made it into Hollywood Arts. My heart didn't pound quite as hard or flutter as much that day. But here, now, with Jade's hand resting on my shoulder and my head against hers, it's a moment in forever.

All too soon, the ride shudders to a halt. We're at the bottom— Jade tugs me out and tells me to hurry up with a flash of her usual impatience— and I jump out, a smile clinging to my lips as she guides me to the winding line in the carousel. The colored bells and paint that adorn the horses are alluring, clearly well treated even after years of use. "Wow," I say, still leaning on her. "Who would've guessed that cold Jade West liked having fun?"

"I must be an imposter," she replies with a smirk. "Surely the real Jade is locked up somewhere."

I squeeze her hand. "No. I have a feeling this is the real you." Suddenly embarrassed, I duck my head, cheeks burning. I can feel her eyes on me, curious and wondering.

Suddenly I wonder how Beck must have felt to have such a wonderful person as his partner.

The thought tacks itself in, and I swallow nervously. I know that I like guys. I do. I'm not… like _that_. Am I? Am I like Jade?

Jade's different, though, I argue with myself. She's not _just __any _girl. She needs me. I need her.

Don't I?

I imagine a world without Jade. I picture coming to Hollywood Arts and forming our little group of friends. Robbie, Cat, Andre, Beck. Her name almost jumps in the train of thought, but I force myself to remove it, imagining only the others.

When Jade isn't there, it all seems warped and wrong and—and dysfunctional. I can't even picture it without feeling sick to my stomach.

And I decide today I'm going to tell her. I'm going to. I can't stand looking at her and talking to her and touching her, all while this— this feeling is growing inside me, and she doesn't know of it. The outcome could screw everything up— she could push me away and never talk to me again, at worst.

And at best, maybe she'll love me back. I can remember what my grandmother, before she died, said to me once—

"_El amor puede curar cualquier cosa, Tori. __Siempre__." _

_Love can heal anything, Tori. Always. _

_Can love heal Jade? _

I decide that if I try hard enough, it can and will, I will heal her, because I promised it. I promised Jade I'd heal her, take her bleeding soul and mend it with my own two hands.

And Tori Vega does _not _break her promises.

I let Jade help me onto the carousel. She turns up her nose at the brightly painted figures of the horses, sneering at the 'childish foolery of it all', and leads me to a seat instead— you know, the ones that are just little two-seater benches in between every five horses or so— and we sit together, legs touching.

My whole body is tense like a bowstring ready to release, and I swallow back my pounding heartbeat with a smile at Jade. She glances at me and says, "Tell anyone about today, Vega, and it'll be off with your head." Her tone is teasing but her eyes are serious— she doesn't want me to tell.

I suspect it's because word travels fast in Hollywood Arts, and it'd be interesting news that we— famed rivals that always butt heads— are now buddying up.

She's afraid her dad will hear, will find out. I can see it gleaming beneath the impartial facade.

Jade's scared, and that makes me want to protect her. The world has broken her enough already. She doesn't need her own _parent_ hurting her more.

I rest my head on Jade's shoulder. To my surprise, she doesn't shake it off, and we stay like that the whole time. I can hear her pulse, quick and faint like butterfly wings.

It seems to me like the ride is over as soon as it starts, and my head is spinning from the lazy circles of the carousel, the bubbly tune stuck in my head and winding around my head as I laugh in contentment and sway off of the podium and back onto the salty-smelling air of the boardwalk.

Jade buys us both a paper bag of popcorn. The thick, buttery scent accentuates the smell of the ocean on the air and is enthralled in the stickier, sweeter scent of candy. Distracted by the screams and laughs of children, I rustle the papery material in my hands, fingers twisting the crinkled edges into bent spikes as the popcorn shifts and spills over like falling clouds, tufts of shimmering white. I let go with one hand, and pluck a piece of the fluffy, yellow-white corn and pop it in my mouth, the flavor melting into salt and nothing on my tongue.

"Jade," I say as I swallow the piece of popcorn. She looks over, large green eyes rimmed in black, and her lips part— full and a pale shade of mauve, light catching off their surface— as she says, "What?"

I can't vocalize how much I want this day to last forever, so I just say simply, "Thank you."

Jade's smile in return is worth more than all the money in the world.

oOoOoOoOoOo

JADE'S POV

I took her today because I needed to know. I'm not sure if what I feel for Tori is real, or a spur-of-the-moment thing, so I took her on… Well, a date. It's not really one, but I don't know what else to call it. Hell, I'm not sure of anything anymore.

Except for my heart. I know what it is now. Tori Vega is the song it's singing— She's not just a person I've confided in, not just a frenemy, not even just a friend.

God, it sounds so _cliché_, but she's sunshine and happiness. She's love and light and raw determination, untainted by bitterness or greed.

The thought would have sickened me a month or two ago, but now it enfolds me and I welcome it.

I _need_ Tori Vega.

I need her hand in mine and her words of comfort and her promises of 'it'll be okay' and her smile; I need her love… and God, I… I just… just need her.

I've never felt like this. Not even with Beck. I loved Beck— for a long time, three years time— but that was different. I didn't feel the urge to fly to the stars when I thought of him or need to be at his side all the time, the urge to dance around and sing love songs. We were just… not right. It was like trying to fit together a puzzle without the right pieces, all that time, sparks flying and falling into a dead fire. Beck and I were ashes and flickering flame, and Tori and I… we're a raging _inferno_.

Tori… Tori's a different story. It's like that thought, that confirmation, finally clicked today. I've been avoiding the thought; pushing it to the sidelines… now it's grown so strong I can't hold it off any longer.

We've been here all day— riding the Ferris wheel, carousel, coasters and other mini-games, and now it's getting late. The sun is bleeding into the waves, pink cloudy streaks arching across the gray and red horizon. The very first stars glint like diamonds, the moon scratching the sky above them.

I remember Tori's words.

_You're like the moon, Jade. _

She smiles at me and takes my hand, tugging me toward the edge of the boardwalk, to where old, stained wood meets grainy white sand and clumps of duned grass. We both jump off and land with a thud in the whorls of white grains, and I can't help noticing how her hair tumbles out behind her in rich brown waves. Her eyes sparkle as we slowly wind our way to the edge of the breaking waves, and I take a deep breath, eyes sweeping slowly across the rippled, wind-broken, red and steel surface of the endless ocean. I sit on the wind-shifted ground and Tori drops beside me, her head falling on my shoulder.

"Let's play a game," she murmurs into my neck, breath warming me, and I shiver slightly at the feeling.

"Oh, yeah?" I smirk and twist to look down at her. "What kind of game?"

She bites her bottom lip and looks thoughtful, before her gaze switches from the ocean to me, eyes sparking mischievously. "Truth or Dare."

I consider it. "Okay, but _no _dangerous stuff." I look pointedly at her leg. "I don't want you getting hurt."

She looks stunned. "I never thought I'd see the day you'd say that."

It's my turn to blush. "I—"

She laughs— a rich, warm sound— and drops back against my shoulder. "So, truth or dare?"

I decide to play it out, smirking at her and brushing the strands of hair from her forehead. "Dare."

She furrows her brow before smiling devilishly and pointing outward. "I dare you to go up to mid-knee in the water."

I swear under my breath and give her a disbelieving look. "It's practically fucking _40 degrees_ outside, Vega—"

She shakes her head, nose wrinkled stubbornly. "No take-backs."

Grumbling, I rise to my feet and kick off my combat boots, padding toward the eddying edge of the water. The liquid washes icily over my toes. Gritting my teeth and casting an evil glare back at Tori, I wade in up to below my knee— seaweed brushes my leg and the water feels like it's cutting to my marrow, it's so damn_ cold_— and I wait a few seconds. It gets too much to bear, and I splash back out, shivers wracking my body as she doubles up in laughter.

"Okay, Ms. Smart-ass, you know I hate the ocean." I say to her, kicking my leg and flinging stinging, salty drops spinning toward her. "Your turn. Truth or dare?"

She tilts her head, giving me a challenging look. "Truth."

I bite my lower lip, searching for a question. Finally— I'm sure my eyes are gleaming slyly— I look sideways at her. "If you could have anyone in the world, who would it be?"

Tori's eyes glint amber, and she looks at her feet, eyes considering. Then she glances back up at me, and I can see her answer lying underneath her fear.

_You. _

But she doesn't say that. Instead, her mouth parts, and she only says, "There isn't anyone right now, really."

I furrow my brow, frowning, but I decide not to question her. There's no need to push her, no need to drive her off. I just nod sharply, toes burrowing in the sand, cold grains sifting between flesh and bone. Neither of us speak for a few minutes— we're both drowned in our thoughts, and my heart is constricting uncomfortably every time I look at her shadowed brown eyes— and I sigh loudly. The noise seems to jerk Tori out of her momentary silence and she gives me a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "Okay, Jade. Truth or dare?"

I curl my lip in a half-smirk. "Truth."

Her eyes glitter in excited fear. "I'm going to turn this back on you, West— if you could have anyone, who would it— hmph!"

She's cut off from her question because I've captured her in my arms, kissing her like I mean it, lips morphing against hers to form the silent word of '_you,_' her back shuddering in my hands. She stiffens in shock and then melts in my embrace. The sun is just falling, sinking into the waves, and her returning of the kiss answers the question that she wants me, too. We stay locked in it for what seems like eternity, before I have to break away to take a breath, my head spinning in whirling colours of pink and purple and red, all the last streaks of day fading into the deep of night. Tori's eyes are stunned as she stares at me, her face cloaked in shadow.

"Looks like someone's in _love—" _I say breathlessly, breaking off as she smiles at me, her face open and full of— what? Hopefulness?

Her eyes drop away after I blink at her, and her lips thin in confusion. "So… so what are we? Are we… a couple or something?"

I think about it before giving her a smirk. "Yes, Vega. We are." Then I force on a mock-angry look. "But if you ever make me go in the ocean again, I _swear_ I'll—"

"Oh, hush." She bats at me with a light hand, and her eyes look awed as they rest on me. Her head tilts, and she says, "You're beautiful." Then she flushes, and I'm sure she didn't mean to say it out loud.

I lean back, hands palm down in the sand as the stars glitter above us, smiling down at the start of something new. I lean forward and capture her in another kiss— more like a brush of our lips than anything— and she draw back first, eyes shrouded in an unidentifiable emotion. "So— are we… what? Are you my… my girlfriend?" Her voice is shaking and uncertain, want and worry in her beautiful brown eyes, and my heart speaks for me.

"God, Vega, how many times to I have to say _yes_?" I feel my heart racing in my chest as she smiles, eyes lighting up, and that alone is worth more than the whole world to me.

When we come together again, it's mind-numbing. That is more than enough to push away the worry about my father finding out. 

Enough to give me a brief blip of happiness, a bright flash like the stars colliding.

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

**Okay y'all, that makes enough Jori for a lot of reviews. Let's push to at least eleven reviews for this chapter! How, you ask? If you're reading this, scroll down to that lil' box and type what you liked, and your thoughts. :D I have 45 followers, so there MUST be more than seven people reading this! Prove me right!**

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**Go review!**


	14. Family

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**Finally, Jori has happened! Yay~~~~**

**I hope it wasn't rushed, because the last chapter was like a teddy bear, it was so fluffy!**

**Y'all went above and beyond on reviews!**

**Let's break the record again!**

TORI'S POV

_Girlfriend. _

_Jade West is my girlfriend. _

The thought brings a smile springing to my lips. She's given me her heart, and I'm going to fix it. It's easier now.

She's let me inside.

Trusted me.

And I'm terrified I'll make the same mistakes as Beck did. I don't want to hurt her. I _don't. _

We leave the beach, winding through the thick crowds on the boardwalk until we reach the stained blacktop of the parking lot. Jade's eyes are sparkling green and blue like multicolored stars, and while she's by no means healed, she's getting there. I can see her starting to trust me. She's hopeful, she believes I can do this.

I _can't_ let her down.

When I get home later, Jade presses me against the side of the car and kisses me until I'm light headed and breathless. As I goggle at her, she grins and pulls off, leaving me alone in the driveway with cold, unfeeling stars streaked like a road of crystal above me.

I limp inside, my face split in a huge, goofy grin. Trina is lounging on the couch, her feet propped on the table, a plate of food balanced on her knee. As I enter, she looks up, her eyes annoyed and a frown curving her lips down. "Where were you?" she snaps, voice muffled because her mouth is full of food.

I shut the door, a last puff of wind swirling coldly into the house. "Out," I say, locking it, cocking an eyebrow at Trina. "I was at the boardwalk with Jade."

This only serves to make Trina's eyes narrow further. She swallows and drapes an arm over the couch's back. "You two seem to have become best friends lately," she snorts. "I remember Jade. That girl's dangerous— she pushed me into a locker once and shoved a flyer down my bra a few months ago, Tori—"

I roll my eyes. "She does get angry if you annoy her," I say slowly, as if explaining to someone with low intellect. Which I am. "She's actually really… " I swallow. "Really nice."

Trina scoffs and pops a chip in her mouth. "Right," she drawls. "You two are more than friends, it seems lately— "

I set my jaw, staring at Trina with determination.

"Finally, you actually get something right." I see her jaw drop, but I snap at her, my frustration bubbling over. "Yeah. She's my girlfriend. And?"

Trina coughs, choking on her chip, her eyes bulging. "Jade's your— your girlfriend?" she splutters.

I nod curtly, jaw flickering with a tense muscle. "Problem?"

Trina looks flabbergasted. "Have you told Mom and Dad? And why her? She's, like, _freaky_—"

"Jade is _not _freaky."

I look away, and Trina sighs dramatically. "You have to tell the 'rents, Tor. It's simple, you just say' Mom, Dad, let's get something straight: I'm not."

I laugh at that. "Y'know, it might actually work."

Trina snorts. "Well, duh. I'm not an _idiot_." She waves her hand flippantly. "I mean, I could probably make it sound a lot more convincing than you, considering how much more talent I have."

"Sure, Treen, sure. You keep telling yourself that." Chuckling at her pride, I limp into the kitchen. Clinging to my sweater is the fading scent of butter and ocean salt and cotton candy, and stronger, winding through my hair and hands is the scent of cool, clear, fresh lavender.

Of Jade.

No, I remind myself— not just of Jade. My girlfriend. Jade's my girlfriend.

The thought warms me all over, like soft flame flickering along the pads of my fingers and whirling in my heart.

I feel my hip vibrate as a text comes through to my phone. Furrowing my brow, I dig through my pockets and curl my hands around it, the cold plastic still icy from today's events. The screen is glowing with one new message, and I flip it on from the cleft of the power button.

It's from Jade, which brings back the grin to my face. She's sent one message— simple, 'Thanks for today, Vega. You're surprisingly cool to be around. I look forward to next time.'

—Jade

As I read it, the phone jingles with another text, and the screen bumps down to reveal another message— "_Meet me at the park tomorrow at one to discuss… things?"_

I bite my bottom lip, casting around for anything I have planned tomorrow. Finding nothing, I text her back with a '_yes_' and a smiley-face, and I turn it off to see Trina rolling her eyes at me.

"Good God, Tori, you look _dreamy—"_

"Shut up!" I say, laughing. Then my smile fades as I wonder what she wants to discuss, what possibly she could_—oh. _

I can hear my heart, gripping the bleached white bone of my ribs like prison bars. If they weren't there, it'd be flying into the clouds. With a smile at Trina that I don't feel by any means, I limp away and up the stairs, feeling constrained and heavy, like my feelings are bags of sand, weighing me down.

A few hours later, my parents return home, and Trina shoves me, protesting, downstairs. With an obnoxious grin, she announces dramatically, "Mom, Dad, Tori has something to tell you!"

Dad's immediately on his feet, eyes angry. "I knew it! You're pregnant, aren't you?" He turns to my mom, his hand on his hip and his mouth set in a stern frown. "Honey, I told you that Andrew kid would do this—"

"It's _Andre," _I interrupt, shocked at his outburst. "And— wait, Andre isn't— we're not like that, Dad!"

He grumbles and drops back on the couch, and I take a breath and go on. "Anyways. I—"

"She's gay," Trina cuts in cheerfully. "Gay, _gayyyyyy_ for Jaaaade—"

"_Trina_!"

Dad is rigid in his chair again, and while there's no disapproval in his posture, there's a hint of disappointment. "Oh, well… I was really hoping for someone to carry on the Vega name…"

"Uh, hello?" Trina looks offended. "I'm _very_ much straight; very much beautiful, and—"

"No offense, sweetheart, but…" Dad chuckles. "There aren't many guys who could keep up with you."

Trina gasps, her eyes widening almost comically in anger.

"So you're… you're okay with it?" I say cautiously, waiting for the outburst, for them to kick me out.

That's what happened to Jade, after all.

My mom shakes her head, gripping my shoulders. "Honey, we're okay with whatever you choose to do. Just be careful." She smiles but it looks forced, like she's trying a joke that's not working. "At least we don't have to worry about you getting pregnant now."

I roll my eyes. "Seriously?" A laugh comes out anyway, and I hug my parents. "Thanks. I—"

"Wait, is there… anyone…_ special_?" My dad chokes on the last word, and while I'm glad he's so protective, sometimes it becomes annoying.

"Yes."

"Who is it?"

I bite my lower lip, eyes narrowed in thought. "How about I bring her over so you can meet her, instead of me just telling you?"

They agree— though my dad is still reluctant— and I head up to my room for some much needed sleep, my head full of a certain girl with dark hair and eyes like gems.

Eyes like jade.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

We meet the next day in the park. I'm sure I look simply awful— I couldn't get any sleep and my eyes are shadowed over— but Jade says nothing, her eyes blending with the cropped grass of the park. Still silent, she grips my hands and leads me into the woods, her lips thin in a frown. I can't read her expression. She's like a book I'm learning, little by little. One I haven't been able to read yet, but one that I'm slowly beginning to make out words, letters, forms, the lines and papers that make up Jade West.

I must say, it's an interesting page-turner of a book, and I can feel that we're moving into a new chapter.

Her face is sharply outlined— all edges and corners— as we stop in a glade. I can hear the sound of running water, and as Jade's eyes, edged in blackness, turn toward me, I'm struck by how eerily similar this is to the dream I had. Her breath billows against my neck against the chill of the brisk air, and a shiver wracks my body as she motions for me to sit.

I drop down into the lush grass. It's dappled in cold light, pale yellow and green, just starting to revive from the winter. This has been an awfully cold one, for California, and it has taken its toll— the trees scratch their leafless, black branches at the faint blue of the sky.

"This won't be easy," Jade says at last. "The world… well, it's still odd about these things. But it's the damn twenty first century, and I'm not going to let my parents, the world, myself, hold me back."

I fall back, hands prickling against the cracked, winter-dry grass, head tilted toward the sky. Dark trees crack the heavens, squares of blue rimmed with brown, as I glance over at Jade. Her face is turned toward me, and I give her a half smile. "Would you be opposed to coming to dinner tonight, at my house?"

Her mouth falls open. "Fuck. Seriously?"

I nod, smirking. "You gotta meet the family, Jade."

She groans loudly, and buries her head in her hand, black locks tumbling down like a shimmering, gossamer waterfall. "Might as well get it over with now."

I hug her. "Thank you!"

"Do _not _even start getting all emotional." She cocks her head at me, grinning. "Your emotions are rampant around me."

"You love it," I say.

"Yeah," she admits. "I do."

I lean against her, falling back into her lap as she shifts so she can take my weight. We both look up at the sky, but my eyes keep drifting back to curve of her jawline and the shadow of her hair brushing against me. I can hear her heartbeat and it's a comforting rhythm. Although the steady thumps might be own— my heart surges through me in happiness and contentment. I know that we've got a long way to go, a winding path that twists and turns, but if Jade's on it… I'll go along willingly.

(JADE'S POV)

I pull up into Tori's driveway, my breath shuddering out between clenched teeth as I look at the warm interior, portrayed through windows spilling over with light. How different it is from the cold place of my apartment. It only serves as a representation of my own emptiness.

Tori's filling it, though. Mending me slowly.

The thought of her brings a smile to my face, one I force down quickly. I can't have myself unraveling, unwinding over Vega. Much as I want to, even if she _is _my girlfriend, I don't want to let my armor down and be hurt again.

It's falling off anyways.

I… I just can't. I did that with Beck, and he… He stabbed me in the heart and threw me away like I was nothing, and that's an ache that drives deeper every day.

The car door slams as my fingers jerk away from it, and I take a deep breath, ribs aching from the nervousness held in the one movement. I'll have to face her. Her parents. Trina. All the while, knowing they'll be watching, ready to take a piece out of me if I hurt Tori. Except for Trina, possibly.

I wish my parents were like that, wish they actually _gave_ a damn about me. I could probably get my heart broken in a day and they still wouldn't care a bit.

My boots crunch on the gravel as I stalk up to the front door. The pane of polished oak wood gleams early, the rippling reflection of stars glancing off of it. I raise my hand and knock loudly, the sound echoing hollowly, ebbing away into an eerie silence broken only by my breath.

The door swings open a few moments later, and warm light pours out, spilling over the threshold and onto me.

It's Tori's mom, and I can see the resemblance she shares with her daughter— same hair color, same eyes, but Tori's face, laugh, personality— those are all her own traits. She greets me, smiling, and gestures me to come inside.

"Hi," she says brightly, chipper. "You're Jade, aren't you? I remember you."

"Yes," I say, and then I admit, ducking my head slightly, "I— I… wasn't a very good friend in the past to Tori."

She shakes her head. "You clearly make my daughter happy. Come inside."

I do, embarrassed at her compliment, barely restraining myself from rolling my eyes as Trina glares at me. I only feel somewhat relaxed when Tori appears at the top of the stairs.

She looks _great_— a dark green, olive colored top that is ruffled on the front, dark black jeans, and sandals. Her hair is a lustrous brown— it reminds me of syrup twirling down in curled locks, and it frames her face, drawing attention to her gold-flecked eyes and the shade of brown above her lashes as she grins at me. I return the smile, somewhat reluctantly, and incline my head as she bounces down the steps.

"You look great," I say, awed as she draws closer. She's really a beautiful person, if you get close. All angles and sharp corners, matched with the fire of life. She's whole and untainted.

I wonder, grimly, if she'll ever be beaten down by cruelty and greed like I've been. The world takes people in its crushing grip and shakes them through the shitstorm and they come out either with hearts stained by riches and greed, or souls shattered into little pieces.

I don't want that to happen to Tori. I need to protect her.

"She insisted on making steak," Tori whispers in my ear. "I tried to tell her you don't like it, but she wouldn't listen."

I laugh at her frustrated face. Sometimes she's adorable. "I'll force it down. Heck, I'll even compliment it, how's that?"

Tori rests her hand across mine. "Great. And ignore Trina. She's… a bit mad that I'm 'dating that freak goth chick that shoved a paper down her bra,'…" Tori smirks.

"She was being _an annoying prick_!" I defend myself. Tori takes my hand and pulls me over to the table. I can't help shivering slightly at the pan of steak— it has always been on my list of things I loathe— but for Tori, I can do it. I can force down a disgusting chunk of baked animal that's supposedly 'fancy'.

They made an excellent meal, I'm impressed, which is rare— a bowl of creamed mashed potatoes, steaming and fluffy and white, a pan of crisp and fresh green beans, swimming in butter, and even the steak surprises me. I can eat it without cringing.

The dinner passes somewhat amiably. Her dad still looks wary, and he asks a lot of questions; I can see he is scrutinizing me for any flaws, any sign of ill intentions. He doesn't want his baby girl to get hurt, and I wish I could tell him that I'm not going to hurt her ever. I'd rather die first, and that realization surprises me.

Tori holds my hand under the table, and I clutch it gratefully; my hands are cold and trembling but she is warmth and reassurance and I hold her tighter. She's the cure.

"So, Jade," Tori's mom says, leaning forward. I swallow and flare my nostrils, trying to keep my patience in check. Tori's mom smiles, and again I'm surprised at how genuine she is. Tori's whole family, really. They're not fake, not pretending to be interested or anything. They are, or they aren't, and I can tell I really have her captivated; she really wants to get to know me. I am dating her daughter, after all.

The thought makes my stomach curl, twisting bitterly. My dear step-mother wouldn't care at all. Except for the fact that I'm dating a girl— she'd be screaming mad over that— she would not give it a second thought.

I switch my attention back to Mrs. Vega and smile politely. "Yes?"

Her face furrows in a half-frown, like she's testing the weight of her words. "Tell us a little about your family."

Tori's eyes go wide fractionally and she casts a worried look at me. "Mom, I don't think that you should—"

"It's fine," I cut in, straining to not show my distaste for the query. "I'm adopted, and my adopted parents divorced. I… I live with my dad."

It's not a complete lie. He has custody of me; I just live on my own. I can tell Tori knows what I'm thinking when her hand twitches in my grasp.

Her face wrinkles in real concern. "I'm sorry to hear that, Jade."

I smile again, bitterly, bile souring my throat and ruining the meal. I'm sorry too. "Yeah. Uh, thanks."

The rest of the dinner passes somewhat smoothly— Trina complains a lot, and eyes me like I'm going to spring at her any second— and Mrs. Vega shakes my hand as I get up to leave.

"I think they liked you," Tori whispers in my ear as I turn back.

I nod. "They'll need to. We're together whether they like it or not."

She laughs, a sound I'll never tire of hearing, and follows me out to the car. Her eyes burn into me— gold, glimmering and gleaming enticingly, or caramel and chocolate mixed in a blend, hawk feathers that glint gold, chips of fluttering amber. A mosaic of color, earth and sun. I feel the sudden urge to open up to her, to let myself be— _me_. Not the icy shell I pretend I am.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school," she says softly, her lips twitching in a smile. I capture her in a kiss, soft and chaste, pure like the moon, and it speaks more words than can be said.


	15. Damaged and Broken

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I don't know what to expect when I return to school, to be honest.

I know that kids will avoid Jade and I. It's not my say when the world realizes that being… like us— it's fine. It's fine to love whoever. There will be people who call us disgusting and weird and different, but those people don't matter. I know Jade would get exasperated if I quoted Dr. Suess, but as he said, 'Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.' It's a surprisingly fitting turn of words for us.

Jade greets me with a kiss when I walk through the doors.

I've seen her and Beck make out thousands of times in the halls, in the Blackbox, outside school— every where. I never thought it'd be me instead of Beck.

She's definitely not without any feeling on her part, that's for sure; her hands clutch my back tighter and I melt into her gratefully, like she's all there is.

When we break apart, there aren't many eyes on us, and for that I'm somewhat relieved. California is more accepting of people like us, and in Hollywood Arts it's all about being you, not a lie.

I love this school more every day.

Jade lets me go, a smile springing to her lips— a real, genuine smile, untainted by anger or sarcasm.

"Hot," she comments, swinging her bag over her shoulder. "Careful not to miss anything because you're thinking of me."

I flush and stutter a retort. She laughs and sways off, leaving me smiling at the entrance, staring after her. I'm suddenly gripped by the paralyzing feel of losing… losing us. What we have now.

The thought of being without Jade brings real pain to me. I can feel it wrapping an invisible hand around my heart and squeezing, pain stabbing, a billion tiny daggers plunging to my soul. It's not just the crap about how 'it almost feels like real pain'— it is real, physical pain. I struggle for breath, and I banish the thought. Jade and I… we'll take it a day at a time. I can't lose her, I just can't.

Jade is my everything. Everything's happening so fast, but I don't feel pressured or rushed— it's a thrilling kind of adrenaline, like a dollar coaster. There are ups and downs, but in the end it's worth it.

Surprisingly, class flies by, and before I know it we're at lunch. The day is crisp, clear, a cool spring breeze blowing the stark buds of unfurling green across the courtyard. I sit down at our table, the chilly, interlocking bars pressing against my arms as I look around.

Andre comes up a few seconds later, grinning crookedly as he sits. "So, Tori," he says, his voice suppressing, teasing. "I hear you got yourself a girlfriend."

I smile at him and press my lips together to hold back a laugh. "Well, y'know, I can't imagine why you'd say that."

Andre rolls his eyes. "I was getting a bag from my locker, and I turn around and you and Jade are in a lover's embrace. What's that all about, huh?" His eyebrows dance in curiosity, but not resentment or fear. "When I liked Jade, you about went the whole mile to keep me from crushing on her, remember?"

"Yeah." I purse my lips, remembering that awful time. "That was before… before I knew what I know now."

"What do you know now?" His head tilts, dark locks curtaining over his shoulder as he perks an eyebrow at me.

I shake my head slightly, brow furrowing in dismay. "I know we're best friends, but… I can't tell you. It's— it's not my right to."

He looks a little disappointed, but he shrugs. "If you say so."

Cat and Beck join us next, and Andre leans over to whisper in Beck's ear. Beck looks shocked at first, a flicker of jealousy and sadness darting across his face. Then it's replaced with resignation and mild curiosity as he looks over at me. I'm relieved to see there's no real anger in his face— if anything, he just looks surprised— and my breath exhales between my teeth. He grins at me, and he teases, "Looks like you've got yourself a handful now, Tori. Jade can be wily."

We chatter amiably for the next few minutes, and I tactfully avoid the topic of Jade, until she approaches from the doors of the Asphalt Cafe.

Jade drops next to me, letting out a long, frustrated breath. Her hair whirls down in helixes full of black, shimmering volume, and her eyes are angry as she glares at her hands. I look over in concern. "What's wrong?"

She rolls her eyes and slams a fist on the table, rattling the trays. "People giving me bullshit about you-know-what."

I place a calming hand on her leg. "It's okay. We had to have expected it, you know."

She clenches her jaw, eyes flickering like flame, and shrugs, a sharp jerk of her shoulders that shifts her hair down her chest. "I don't have to like it."

"Woah, wait," Robbie says, his voice confused, "What's 'you-know-what?'"

Jade's eyebrows raise in query as she glances at me. "Vega didn't tell you, puppet-boy?"

"I am not— don't call me—" He splutters, and then he gives up. "No, she didn't." His voice is indignant and he looks injured at Jade's tone.

Jade perks a studded eyebrow, a smirk curling up the edge of her mouth. She says it bluntly, shortly, her eyes daring them to say something. "Vega and I are dating."

The reaction is bordering between hilarious and worrisome: Cat squeals in excitement and throws out her hands, Robbie doubles over, choking on his pizza, and Beck rolls his eyes and hands Andre a 50$ dollar bill. My jaw drops. "Andre!"

He smiles guiltily. "What? We bet on it. I said you'd tell us today, Beck said it would happen next week. He lost the bet, and I get the money." He pockets it, smirking, and Jade is glaring at them with exasperation. I'm not able to stop a smile from blossoming on my face as I see Beck and Andre exchange a knowing look.

I settle down, sunlight striking Jade and illuminating her face into a pale yellow, just barely shaded over. She presses her lips together as her eyes flick over to Beck. He's watching her with sadness— no, regret— in his eyes, and I feel a flash of possessiveness.

He let her go, and now he pays the price.

It's definitely a hefty fee.

oOoOoOoOoOo

"The talent show is coming up!"

I turn as Cat squeals loudly, her hands crumpling a sheet of crisp magenta paper. In large block letters at the top, it says "Annual Hollywood Arts Talent Show!"

I peer over her shoulder, eyes raking the page as Cat's hands clutch it tightly. My mouth falls open as I read.

The show is this Saturday. You can showcase whatever you got into the school for— singing, dancing, other odds and ends of talent. I can already feel the ideas bubbling up like a fountain, songs and ideas and outfits, and then it hits me like a rock. I know my idea. I know what I'll do.

"Thanks, Cat!" I say, my chest hitching and expanding with excitement. I slam my locker door and swing away from it, halting with a jolt as I smack into someone. They grip my shoulders and straighten me. "Woah there, Vega. Where are you running off to?"

I wiggle from her grasp and smile apologetically. "Sorry, gotta go talk to Andre! I'll catch you later!" I throw the words over my shoulder, hair flying out as I fling myself down the hall, urgency and thrill propelling my feet. The cold tile, flecked with gray and black, flies by under my feet as I whirl a corner and stop just before I crash into Andre.

"Woah there," He says, repeating Jade's earlier words. "Why the rush, chica?"

I take a deep breath and blurt out, "I need you to help me in the talent show with the piano. And I need backup violinists."

His eyebrows scrunch together of the bridge of his nose and a frown creases his lips. "Well, I guess I could get Sinjin and some others to do the violins, and I could hit the piano… What song?"

"Listen." I lean over and whisper into his ear, and a broad smile stretches across his face, all doubt clearing away. "That's a good one, Tori! Yeah, I'll do it. Say we practice tonight?"

"Okay, yeah, sounds great!" I smile at him, warmth filling me, sprouting from my toes and curling around my heart. "How does around 7:00 sound?"

He bounces on the balls of his feet, brown eyes glittering like coffee, black with the slightest tinge of rippling, shimmering gold. "I'll be there."

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

The last, melodic chord of the piano wavers and fades into silence, a crystalline drop of thrumming, haunting tune hanging, suspended, on the horizon. I exhale and lean over on the sanded wood of the piano, where Andre furrows his brow and then smiles up, his fingers lightly brushing the white keys of the instrument. "I think it sounds perfect."

"What do you think Jade will think?" I press, hands digging into the whorled, knotted wood as my breath stutters in my chest. I swallow back my apprehension, mouth pursing thoughtfully.

He leans back, hands leaving the row of black and white bars to rest on the black pane of the bench. "If she loves you at all, she'll think it sounds like angels singing." His eyebrows cock and he gives me a meaningful look. "And that's an understatement, y'know, she'll probably be all over you after you sing it."

I grin, the first traces of ease blossoming like a flower, rosy and warm, in my heart. "Really?"

"Really." He shakes braids of dark hair— vines, crumbled and fallen and dead, yet still glossed with life— from his face and rises lithely from the bench. "I'm starving. You got any of that Belgium cocoa?"

I walk over into the kitchen— my limp is barely noticeable now— and reach up to open the cabinet. As I pour the brown, sifting powder into a rimmed mug, my thoughts stray over to Jade.

No, they don't stray. They return to her. She hasn't left my mind at all, she only just lurks in the back sometimes.

I can feel a smile tugging up the corners of my mouth, as Andre starts talking about Jade.

"I have her in my History class. She got in trouble for not paying attention, and she told the teacher her mind was occupied with other things." He gives me a sly smile. "I can guess what those other things were."

"She said that exact same thing to me in the hospital," I say, frowning as I stir the powder, brown and white and flecks of hazel, into the steaming white surface, fractured like broken bones. "The, 'My mind is occupied was other things.'"

"I'm sure that's all you guys did," he says, his lips pressing together to keep back a grin. "Talking, I mean."

I gasp and hit his shoulder lightly, my cheeks flushing. "Andre!"

"What? You know it's totally true."

"Not… what you're thinking!" I retort. "I don't— I'm not a—"

"Okay, so you only kissed, or what?"

I bite my bottom lip, embarrassment heating my face. "Maybe, but that's all!"

He chuckles and takes a sip from the mug, slamming it back down and wiping the last of the chocolate from his mouth. "Let's go finish up your song, Tori."

Hours later, I collapse back onto the couch, head swimming with lyrics and hopes and anticipation for Saturday night. It's a thrilling kind of feeling— like fearful hope. It's fly or fall, and I've got to get this right. I want my words to be perfect, want Jade to believe.

"Tori!"

I twist my head back to see Trina descending from the stairs, her face twisted in an annoyed grimace. I let out an internal sigh and moan. "What now, Trina?"

"That freaky goth chick just pulled in the driveway," Trina says, "And I don't want her to _pester _me or start having _you know what _with you—"

"Incidentally, Treen, her favorite item that she is obsessed with are scissors. Wonder if that's got anything to do with her sex life?" I roll my eyes inwardly as Trina's face drops in shock and she chokes on the bread she's eating.

"If you have sex in the house, I'm so totally telling Mom! Go do it in her car or something!"

"Car sex. How would that even work?" I chuckle and spring up from the couch. "Probably would result in an injury or two."

"The goth chick—"

"Her name is Jade, Trina, get it right. And just because we date doesn't mean we're going to start having sex everywhere," I say feebly, shoving my glasses up my nose and glaring at her, unable to hold back an amused snort, "Or that she's going to become any less prickly to you, because quite frankly, you're annoying."

Trina snorts and bats her eyelashes. "You're just jealous because I'm the talented one in this family." She flounces off, grumbling about how idiotic and talentless I am. I stick my tongue out at her, face scrunching in a glare, as I swing up from the couch and lope toward the door.

Jade's propped against the doorframe, eyes hooded with sharp black eyeliner. She blinks and smiles slightly as I open the door, and my own face splits in a grin as she silently walks in and tosses her bags on the couch, the air puffing out in a hiss as they droop, black against blood-red.

"I'm hungry." Jade saunters into the kitchen, hair flowing blackly down the sharp edges of her shoulder blades. "Feed me."

"Why should I have to be the stereotypical girlfriend that makes sandwiches and such?" The smile on my face threatens to grow larger, tugging at the edges of my lips. "Why can't you be the girly one, huh?"

"Imagine me being girly, Vega." She snorts, flinging open the fridge with a toss of her hand. White light pours over her as she cocks an eyebrow at me. "What an utter fucking nightmare."

"I won't deny it." I amble over to her, wrapping my arms around and over her shoulders, my head nestled against her neck as I observe the contents of the fridge. "Dad forgot to buy groceries, anyway, so we can't make sandwiches.

She grumbles and slams the fridge door, and I release her as she turns toward the counter and pulls her phone from her hip. "Then pizza it is. And we can talk about the talent show while we wait for it to get here."

My brain scrambles to think of a lie— I can't tell her what I'm really doing, because it's a surprise— and I decide to wing it. She crooks the phone in between her ear and shoulder, glancing over at me. "Yeah, hello? I want a large cheese pizza. Make half of it sausage," Here she winks at me, and I grin crookedly, because she knows that's my favorite type of pizza, "And bring it to 1650 Cypress Avenue, sharp." She hangs up, letting her phone clatter to the counter as she prowls to the slope of the couch, and she lounges on it, reminding me forcibly of a panther.

"So," she says, drawing out the 'o' with a twanging drawl, "What song are you singing for the show?"

I stall for time. "How do you know I'm singing?"

She laughs harshly. "Vega, you sing like an angel. What else would you do, huh?"

"Thanks," I say, sitting beside her. Her legs drape over my lap and I lean back contentedly. "And yeah, but…" The lie tastes sour in my mouth. "I don't know what I'm singing yet."

She quirks up the corner of her mouth. "I know what I'll be singing. And before you ask," she adds, seeing my mouth open in question, "It's a surprise."

"Ah." I nod and scoot closer to her as silence falls over the room. It's a comfortable kind of silence, full of unspoken feeling and charged energy. I feel her eyes raking me and there is such hope in them, quietly powerful.

"Jade," I say softly, my voice barely piercing the fog of quietness. "What would help you get better?"

We both know what I'm talking about.

Her reply is short and cut like a knife, all her earlier cheer frozen into anger, frigid and bitter.

"Revenge."

oOoOoOoOo

(JADE'S POV)

She's warm and trusting, leaning against my side, and we're tangled up— my legs are fallen over her lap and her hair falls over my shoulder. I still feel the word that has fallen from my mouth, chillingly cold. It's true. I've known it all along; I want my revenge, I want him to feel what's torn me into ragged shreds for years.

He's lucky I don't know who he is or he would be dead.

I do remember what he looked like exactly— that kind of thing never is forgotten; etched deep into my mind. He had cold, large, icy hazel eyes, black jagged hair, scarred arms, and a predatory, wolfish smile.

I feel fear swallow me as the shadowy shape of it comes to mind.

Tori's voice jolts me back to the present.

"…Normally I'd discourage that, but I think revenge is needed here."

"Hell yeah," I say, trying to make my voice light. It comes out as a growl. "Anyways. I—"

The doorbell rings loudly, slicing through my sentence, signaling the arrival of the pizza. I pull off of Tori, grudgingly so, and rise, trudging toward the door. I heave it open and pull a crinkled five dollar bill from my pocket, shoving it toward the pizza man. He smacks his gum and hands me the pizza, grabs the money, and strolls off toward the humming form of his car. I slam the door and set the pizza on the table, the salted and warm scent wafting through the air.

"Tori, did you order pizza?"

Trina pokes her head from the top of the stairs, and I roll my eyes. "Yes, and you don't get any!" Tori yells back.

Trina scoffs and strolls downstairs anyways, tossing her hair flippantly. "I'm your older sister! You can't let me starve."

I pluck the pizza box from the table, balancing it on the pads of my fingers, and raise it out of her reach. "I doubt you'll starve."

My gaze flickers down to her stomach, and she gasps. "Rude!"

"I speak the truth. Don't I, Tori?"

Tori purses her lips, throwing an apologetic glance at Trina. "I'm not going to take sides here. Buuuuttttt, I agree with Jade."

Trina snorts and brushes past me with a curl of her lip. "Whatever."

I flip open the box, and tear a slice from the circle. Tori reaches up to catch it as it spins from my hands toward hers.

And I find myself relaxing like I never have before. This is a home to me.

**Hey guys :D I was thinking randomly when a AWESOME idea popped into my head. Should I do a VicTORIous/Hunger Games crossover, with Jori? Tell me your thoughts in the reviews…. :D ! I've actually written a lot of it so far. It's from Tori's point of view and yeah, it'll have lots of Jori. I promise it's not cliche and Tori will NOT be like Katniss. **

**It would however mean Heal would be not updated as often. Maybe once a week or less because the end is in very distant views. **

**Thoughts? **


	16. Breaking Point

**Angst yay~**

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The spotlights illuminate the stage of the talent show in bright colors— yellow, magenta, teal, as the crowd buzzes and shifts below. I'm behind the curtains, my heart racing behind the white prison bars of my ribs. Andre is perched on the piano, fingers poised above the keys as the violinists shift behind him. I clutch the microphone tighter, swallowing back my nervousness, eyes scanning and darting over the crowd. I told Jade to be in the crowd, asked her to be there, and I find my gaze drawn to the front row.

There she is, emerald eyes fixated on the stage, curiosity gleaming in them. I breathe heavily, almost jumping out of my skin as a warm hand touches my shoulder.

"Calm _down_, Tori."

It's just Cat, and she beams at me as I shake my head furiously. Her eyes sparkle happily as she tilts her head at me, and my mouth falls open breathlessly. "I can't, God dang it. This is killing my nerves, Cat."

She takes my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze, her voice wobbling in joy. "Just think of Jade."

I groan. "That makes it _worse."_

Cat grins and gives me a gentle push. "You're on. Good luck, Tori!"

I swallow, throat bobbing as the crowd roars and everyone scurries off, leaving me alone behind the curtains. Technically, Andre and the violinists are there, but I feel swept up into a world of high adrenaline and thrill where it's only me and the microphone and Jade, and miles away I can see the crowd yelling.

But the people are pushing all around and I'm jerked back to reality as the host of the talent show shouts into his headset, the sound throbbing around the Asphalt Cafe in color and whirls, but my sight is only directed at one person.

"And now we welcome our favorite junior— Miss Tori Vega!"

I heave a breath as the curtains sweep back and the spotlight rays down on me like the sun. My eyes jump to Jade, and her eyes are on me, awe evident on her face. She smiles as I look at her, and this does everything to multiply the butterflies rampaging my stomach, whirling and crawling up my esophagus.

The first chord of the piano strikes, silencing the crowd and bringing a tense silence in. The strum of guitars and the ever increasing tune of Andre's piano draws me into the first line of the song, broken only by my breath.

"_I remember tears streaming down your face_

_When I said, "I'll never let you go,"_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light_

_I remember you said, "don't leave me here alone."_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight…" _

The crowd is already murmuring and swaying to the song, and I see Jade's eyes light green and blue, shimmering in shocked recognition. I hope she likes my song choice. God knows it was hard getting it right.

"_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound..."_

I risk another glance down as I inhale, butterflies quieting and warm fire taking their place. Jade's eyes, smokey with black, large and green, are focused up at me, and I swear I can see the shimmer of tears glossing them over.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Andre's piano hits the next line hard, diamond-like beauty as the golden sound of strings hum and magnify my voice into a strong chorus.

"_Don't you dare look out your window,_

_Darling, everything's on fire_

_The world outside our door_

_Keeps raging on_

_Hold on to this lullaby_

_Even when the music's gone_

_Gone…_

_"Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound…"_

_The melody of voice pours from me and I flutter my eyes shut, picturing Jade._

"_Just close your eyes,_

_You'll be alright_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound…"_

My feet carry me to the edge of the stage, and Jade is just so close, an arm's length away, I long to jump down to her. Jade, with her tumbling black hair and eyes deeper than forest pools, her rare smiles and vulnerability and the way she makes my heart cartwheel in my chest. Instead, I look at her as deeply as I can, throwing my words out so she can catch them and believe what I say, use my words as antidote for her wounds that are beginning to heal. I can see a tear streak down her cheek as she looks up at me, and her hands twine over her heart. My breath stutters in my chest but I hang on, determined to finish. This isn't about winning, it's just about voicing my heart.

"_Safe… and sound…"_

The piano slowly fades to nothing, nothing, _nothing. _

The cheering of the crowd erupts with the force of a bomb, rolling over me and exploding a smile on my face as I bow slightly and exit the stage. I'm blind to the applause and the yells of fans, blind to everything. I start to run down the graveled path, eyes searching, looking for Jade.

She's all that matters.

oOoOoOoOoOo

(JADE'S POV)

I can't believe it.

She looked so beautiful, so angelic, so perfect on the stage; her hair had haloed in warm caramel strands down her shoulders. Her eyes were chips of gold as she sang, her words were worth more than anything to me. I would trade all the money in the world, if only to see her sing again.

To _me_.

The lyrics that poured so truthfully, so innocently and thoughtlessly from her are haunting me. She meant it. She means everything she says, and that's why I love her.

The thought jerks me to a halt. Do I love her? Do I love Tori?

No, I decide. I'm falling for her, but I'm not completely in love…. yet.

I know it's a lie, even as a thought.

I go on stage in a few minutes, and now I have to top Tori. It seems less possible now. She sang what was perfect, words I find myself believing reluctantly, words that wind through me and slither into my heart like gripping fingers of truth and love and light.

I slip into the dark shadows of backstage, where a pianist and five or so violinists are perched, waiting for me. I let them know to get ready.

I frown and run back over the song in my head, breath sighing as I cut my way toward the drapes of the curtains. The instrumentalists are already ready, shifting their string chords and shuffling music sheets. I swallow and nod curtly to Sinjin, who is handling the curtains. He smiles crookedly and gives me a thumbs up, yanking the rope that controls them.

With a parting sound, they slowly move aside to let yellow light pour onto me. The crowd yells and my eyes scan, locking onto Tori, who is beaming at me from the first line.

My heart is going to burst right from my chest.

After the host has introduced me, I snap a finger to cue the instruments. They launch into the strumming melody of the song, and I see Tori's eyes widen in recognition as the first striking beats of piano capture the crowd.

"_Heart beats fast,_

_colors and promises…"_

I dart my eyes toward Tori, and she has tears pooling, her face wide open in a smile as she gazes up at me.

"_How to be brave,_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?_

_But watching you stand alone,_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow…_

"_I have died every day waiting for you,_

_Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you_

_For a thousand years… _

_I'll love you for a thousand more." _

"_Time stands still_

_Beauty in all she is_

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath _

_every hour has come to this._

_One step closer…"_

_"I have died every day waiting for you,_

_Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you_

_For a thousand years._

_I'll love you for a thousand more…"_

_"And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more."_

_"One step closer,_

_One step closer…"_

_"I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more._

_"And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more…"_

The crowd explodes in applause, hands beating together as I exit the stage. I fight through surges of people, eyes open for Tori. When I reach the light-pole, I can see her approaching from behind the stage. Her eyes alight on me, and she starts running, hair waving out behind her, hands flying out as she crashes into me. I stagger back, hands wrapping around the slope of her shoulders as she laughs into my chest, her breath warm in the chilly air.

"Did you like my song?"

I pull back, hands wrapping around her, eyes taking her in hungrily. "Tori," I say, breathing, exhaling, letting it go, "There aren't word to describe how much I liked that. It was perfect."

She smiles and draws forward. "So are you." She presses me close. "I loved that. " Her voice is barely a breath, hesitant. "I love you."

She initiates the kiss this time, and her lips morph against mine in a silent symphony. It's almost desperate, passionate and fiery, like she's trying to convince me of something. When we break apart, she whispers against my ear. "West, I do believe you've captured my heart."

"Ah, well, I'm good at stealing things." I pull her tight, arms protecting her, cold fingertips brushing along the ridges of ribs and heated skin. "But it looks like you are too, Vega."

I was ice, hard and spiked and hurting relentlessly, jabbing spears of coldness at whoever drew near. Now, with Tori, I'm snow— still cold, but softer, more approachable, even something to be looked forward to. Deadly, still, but less so.

The thought clings to me and worry suddenly races through me.

Sometimes I really fucking hate it. I liked being closed off, usually; that meant nobody could hurt me. Now Tori has opened me no easier than a door— and I'm letting her. Letting her.

Letting people inside only hurts you in the end. Damn it, how could I be so _stupid?_

My hands ball into fists as the thought explodes, and I gently push her away, clenching my jaw, teeth grinding together in a scraping chorus. Suddenly Tori's arms feel contracting and cold, not warm and slender and never-pushing— no, my body remembers the arms of another; they're broad and aggressive and all too familiar. Arms from my nightmares, ones that, instead of comfort and love, pin and allow no escape. A sudden memory, more like an echo of pain, flares in my chest, hot and agonizing between my legs. My stomach constricts as bile rises in my throat, heated and dizzying like I'm going to be sick.

The image of hazel eyes pierces me sharply and I back away, stumbling over my own feet, arms crossing defensively and breath ragged as I shudder it out.

"J-Jade?"

"No," I bark out, harsh and edged as Tori draws closer to me, eyes swimming in confusion. The dim colors of chocolate and chips of gold whorl and spiral, burning into me, meshing until they transform into a cold hazel flecked with frigid brown. My voice is harsh and barbed, flying ice that's coldly cut off. "G-get _away_ from me!"

Then, as I see shock and disbelief and pain spread across her face, like ripples from a stone thrown into a pond, my feet are carrying me away.

I run into the night, running running _running_, feet slapping against wet pavement. I'm flying from her, like it's possible to escape the pain and scars; like it's possible to rid myself of the memory of his arms piercing me and the awful throbbing between my legs as memories surge up in a screeching chorus, dark and swirling.

The memories capture me in a smoky grip full of terror and rage and greed— a darkness that _blinds_ me like living hell.


	17. You're All I've Got

**I need to stop running your feels over, don't I?**

Nah.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

My fingers skitter across the glowing screen as I bite my lower lip, pondering what to say. Jade's face is branded into my mine— it was crumpled in fear and anger and confusion, and she ran away like she was being faced with hell.

From me.

My breath hitches in my chest and my eyes blur, stinging with tears. I'm still in shock, really. Her wounds are so, so deep, they still bleed profusely— she can't even get close to me without throwing up walls and yelling at me to stay back, hugging me and crying and telling me she loves me and hates me all at once.

She looked at me like I was going to hurt her.

_Fear._

I pick at a stray piece of hair on my cheek and think, I really _despise_ whoever did this to her. Jade was already made of glass; glass formed from adoption and fighting parents, and then someone picked her up, played with her, and then broke her when they had no more use for her beauty. Then her own father took her glass shards and crushed them to powder, sparkling and beautiful and utterly, utterly, shattered.

It's a blinding rage, licking at my stomach like red flame, tongues of fire scorching and rising up my throat, turning my sight scarlet. I can only think in hot colors and my hands release the phone as I drop down with a muffled wail of frustration. I can't even put into words how screwed up it is and how I want to heal her but I don't know how and how she's hardly even healable anyways—

"Tori?"

I grit my teeth and look up. "I'm _so _not in the mood, Trina."

"No, no, no." She saunters over and slides down beside me, and her eyes flicker in concern. "You look like something's wrong. Boy troubles? Any hot douches I need to beat up or kiss up, _hm_?"

"I somehow think this is out of your element." I look up at her, cradling my head in cold, sweaty hands. "No. It's not boys."

She frowns, quirking one side of her lip. "Hmm… let's see.. Ah, I know! Is it Jade?"

I roll my eyes. "Brilliant thinking, there, Trina. Must've taken genius brains to figure _that _one out."

"I know, right?" She looks extremely pleased with herself, which causes my eyes to spiral in frustration again. Then her eyes become deep, dark pools of concern again. "Come on, Tori, we're _sisters, _for Bieber's sake—"

"Say what now?"

"It's not right to say _His _name." Trina waves a hand vaguely in direction of the ceiling. "As I was saying, we're sisters, I can tell when you're upset. Spill the beans."

"I can't," I groan, muffled as I drop my face onto my arm. "She told me not to tell anyone."

"Ooooh! Is it gossip? Juicy? Dramatic?"

I consider screaming at her, but she's oblivious. I think she'd sober up really fast if she knew what was troubling Jade. "It's probably the worst that could happen to someone besides torture or death. It's_ really bad news, _Trina." I place heavy emphasis on the last words, hands plucking at the carpet. "Like, I think if you really think at it you could guess."

Trina's eyes narrow in thought, the tip of her tongue poking through the corner of her lip. "I don't… wait…" Her eyes fly open and shock ignites them. "Oh wow, Tori. Uh… that's… just wow."

"Case and point."

"Has she…" Trina gestures helplessly. "Identified him to the police? Gotten his rapey butt arrested?"

"No. It only happened when she was thirteen, she didn't know who it was— she only knows what he looked like and— wait, I shouldn't be talking to you about this, I promised her I wouldn't."

Trina rises and says only, "I know_ just_ the thing to cheer you up."

After a few minutes she returns, carrying a bowl of ice cream, and it's cooke dough— my favorite. It's creamy and cold, flecked with dark brown chips of chocolate, and broken up by pale chunks of soft dough. With it she brings a can of frigid, frosty, soft whipped cream and a scarlet cherry, gleaming like a drop of blood.

"Eat up and talk," She says, placing it beside me and sitting down heavily. She winks. "Trina Vega is known for keeping secrets well."

"Treen, we both know that's so untrue." I stick a spoon in the soft cream anyway, swirling it before I raise a spoonful to my mouth. "You blab worse than a five year old. Are you trying to liquor me up through cooke dough ice cream?"

She looks offended. "I do not! And no!"

I sigh, raising my knees to my chin and folding my arms over them, swallowing the cold confection. "Yes, you do. Plus, she trusts me not to talk. I'm not breaking her trust. And unless you laced this with beer I doubt it'll do anything."

_Even if she does hate me now. I was too pushy. _

"Fine, fine." She sighs dramatically, loudly. "Listen, I'm going to soak my face in some mayonnaise, okay?"

"… What purpose could that _possibly_ serve?"

"It shrinks pimples!" she spits indignantly, sashaying out the door with a glare at me. "And it works!"

I sit there for a minute of two after she has left, fingers numb on the cold screen of my phone, when the house echoes with hollow sound of someone knocking on the door.

"Tori, get the door!" Trina yells. "I'm busy!"

I click the phone angrily, fingers jabbing the off button forcefully as I toss it on the bed and rise. My leg slips and I stumble against the bed, growling in frustration and heaving myself back up.

I walk downstairs, stomping on the steps to relieve my anger and pent up misery, and grab the doorknob. My eyes are surely spitting fire as I yank it open, frame of oak wood gleaming darkly as it swings and shudders to a halt.

All my anger is burnt away when I see her.

I have to say, I was not expecting Jade to be at my door.

She's slumped against the doorframe, and as I gape at her, she collapses with a choked gasp of pain. I react out of pure reflex, grabbing her a split-second before she hits the threshold.

She whimpers slightly as I drag her inside, my heart beating my ribs in shock as I look down at her. I gently push her onto the couch where she remains still, eyes frozen into emotionless pools of pale green ice, black hair framing her face like a portrait.

She looks completely catatonic.

Completely broken.

Only when I see her in the lamplight do I realize why she looks this way. Her arms, chest, all her visible skin— are pale red. Her forearm is scored with parallel bleeding lines like someone dragged their nails across it, blood slowly welling in berry-bright spots and rolling down in ruby rivers. Bruises flower across her chest, her cheeks, face— like somebody relentlessly beat her. Little cuts, shard-like, scatter across her form.

I gasp in shock, my heart slamming; but I stifle my wails and questions. She looks like she couldn't speak to save her life. Instead I gently remove the torn leather jacket from her, remove everything until all she wears is a dark gray tank top and ripped leggings. She doesn't move the whole time, and her eyes still are locked on nothing, reflecting the glow of the lamp. My face twists in troubled thought for a moment, and then with a surge of determination, I shakily lift her. My arms tremble from the strain and my leg is wobbling erratically, but I stumble, staggering, to the foot of the stairs.

She's trying to be light; I can see that, she's trying to help so I don't collapse from her weight. But she can't walk with this multitude of injuries. Her arms are bruised and shaking and bloody, her hair is a mess, and the back of her arm is slashed with perfectly parallel cuts that drip scarlet blood.

I know she put them there.

But what about all the other flowering injuries?

I somehow, God knows what strength it took, manage to drag her upstairs and into my room. I collapse for a few minutes, panting, catching my breath as Jade lies slumped against the wall, blood staining her arms, little flecks on the tile like rain. Standing, I open up my cabinet and take out something I've never used, never needed to use— a first-aid kit.

I click open the box, white lid springing open. The smell of anesthetic coils up through the air and I carefully remove a bottle of it, bandages, a washcloth, and other things. I can see Jade's eyes watching me, but she doesn't move as I scoot over and lift her arm.

There's a large, forming bruise on her jaw; it's sickly purple and practically glows in vibrancy, in a sign of reckless violence. I tear my gaze away to see the four neat slashes across her wrist, bleeding slowly, sluggishly, the skin around them a raw, scrubbed red.

"Jade." My voice is stern and loud. "Jade, look at me. Who did this to you?"

Her head slowly tilts up and her voice is hoarse, cracked. "The bruises and scratches… my father. The cuts… I… I made them… I just want the pain to go away, Tori…" Her voice rises to an agonized wail, cracking. "I want to die, Tori, God! I just want to die, anything to make this all end, I hate it, I hate it…"

"But you can't just—" My eyes blur. I realize it's tears forming. "Why?" I shake her gently, blood warm, quelled by my fingers. "Jade, you're beautiful, why would you hurt yourself? And your dad—" I choke off the words as Jade trembles violently, shaking her head, tears staining her cheeks.

She doesn't answer, her breath whistling out between clenched teeth as her hand trembles against my leg. I take the damp washcloth and gently swipe it across her arm, squeezing slightly, blood soaking into the fabric. I pull it away and there are bloody crimson flowers blossoming across the soft white cloth, more welling up from the deep cuts. Tears stream down my face as I look up at her, and she's shaking with silent sobs.

"Jade, this is serious. You might have to go to the hospital—"

"No. No… hospital. You can— you can help me. It— looks worse than it really is." Her voice is ragged and she doesn't meet my eyes, which makes anger flare in my stomach— not at her, but at her father. I can guess what has happened— he must have come to her apartment and beaten her either before or after she cut herself. He found out about us, and hurt her. "Fuck…it— it hurts…"

I just don't know why— but the anger snarling inside of me is demanding an answer.

Questions can be asked later; my main priority is to heal.

How ironic it is now, that the healing is physical; and mental, and emotional… and everything. She's _completely broken. _

And that makes my heart stutter, breath hitch, in pure pain at hers— I don't want her hurting this bad. She has no outlet except herself, and that…. I feel tears smudging my vision as I bandage her bleeding wrists, all of the major wounds, and wipe away the numerous little scrapes all over, dabbing anesthetic on them— the flat white plane of her stomach, the slope of her sternum, the length down her legs and arms. The bruises that color her body will have to heal on their own. I press a gentle kiss to where her pulse flutters in her neck and she sighs softly, chest curving inward. The sigh holds words, words of given up and misery and raw, raw pain.

Her eyes are closed and I don't know if she can hear me, or if she's too deeply buried in her thoughts, so I say it softly. It whispers out and curls in the air with the promise of redemption.

"I love you, Jade…" I gently brush a hand over the white bandages that cover her wrists, sadness cloaking me. "So, so much."

Her eyes flutter open, locking on mine with startling clarity and lucidity— deep dark pools in a forest, dappled sunlight and shafting dust-motes crusted with ice. She remains silent but I can see fear and repression in her eyes.

"I'm afraid to love you back."

The words are no more than a whisper; I barely catch them, fingers outstretched for the value of her words.

"Why?" My voice is soft, barely escaping as I lean forward and peer into her eyes, hands gentle on her shuddering chest. "I'd never hurt you, Jade. I—"

"I don't want to hurt you, Tori. I deal it out by lashing at people I love and…" She swallows, pain crumpling her face, eyes pooled with gleaming tears that track down her cheeks. "I don't want how badly I'm screwed up to hurt you too. I love you so much it terrifies me, and I can't—" Her voice cracks, dropping. "I don't want you to try and heal me when I'm…" She gestures, a white-clothed arm flopping helplessly, dried blood patterned down her palms. "This badly broken." She's crying, eyes shadowed, makeup smudged beautifully. "I love you so much but I can't— I just don't want to cause you any pain, Tori, and that's all I seem to do—" She breaks off as I press a finger to her lips, breath shattering out.

"Jade." My voice is softly firm. "I'm going to help you. You know why?"

She blinks, eyes drowned in confusion, swimming in misery.

"I'm helping," I continue, gripping her hands tight— icy fingers clutching my own like I'm her lifeline—"Because _I love you, _Jade, and I care for you very, very much— no, I'm not just saying it. I'm not going to leave you, _West, _got it? No matter how much you teased me I never left, and I never will."

She trembles, a sob choking in her throat. "Don't leave me, Tori," she whispers, her fingers digging into my palm. "Please don't ever leave me."

I gently swipe a thumb across the heat emanating from her beaten form. "I won't."

OoOoOoOoOoO

_**Next chapter, we find out from Jade's point of view what went down at her apartment. Hang on for a thriller of a chapter! (Warning; it will contain some VERY strong triggers, just so you know, as well as references to what's "wrong" and "right" regarding religion and homosexuals. please don't read if it triggers anything for you. Thank you and I hope this was a decent chapter!)**_

_**Also, lately reviews have been somewhat lacking. Are you guys just reading it and not reviewing or have I really only got six readers? :/ **_


	18. Losing Grip

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN **

**-sobs grossly-**

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**Guest- Thank you :)**

**JustErin- W-wow! Thank you a lot!**

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**lesbian-otps- never… hehehehe.**

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** - soon, soon :)**_  
_

_**oOoOoOoOo**_

_**(JADE'S POV)**_

_**This happens right after Jade ran away from Tori at the talent show. A flashback, as it were. This happens BEFORE last chapter!**_

I stop when I reach the towering shadow of the apartment building. My heart is slamming against my ribs and bile is in my throat, choking me as I heave for breath, face hot with exertion and anger and fear. My chest feels burdened with a thousand rocks of guilt and hatred and memories, God the memories are flooding back and I _absolutely fucking hate it— _

I can feel him inside me, bringing shattered glass and terrible sensations with it. God, it hurts so bad on _so many levels_—

I stalk my way up to my apartment. Knives are shooting from my eyes, surely, and I cross my arms over my chest as I enter the apartment. The backs of my wrists are throbbing, telling me something. Blood is begging to flow from my veins and I want to let it, because maybe the physical pain will distract me from my tormenting mind.

Maybe. I hope.

Tawny weaves around my ankles as I kick open the door and slam it behind me. A muffled scream of pure feeling— it's so much; anger, trauma, hatred, guilt, shame, _misery_— wells up from somewhere deep inside. Someplace darkly hellish, a place I'd locked up and swore I'd _never_ to return to, but Tori wrenched open this door like all the others and the demons that lived within are flooding out, swarming in droves, are killing me from the inside.

I gently push the cat away and enter my room, hands shoving through the curls of dark hair as I look in my mirror.

The person that stares back isn't me.

It's a broken person with eyes of nothingness.

I slowly open a drawer, my heart in my throat, resolution settled with quiet misery and agony. The dark silver blade winks back at me, enticingly evil. It speaks.

_If you hurt yourself, Jade, maybe the memories will fade. Don't you want them to go away? _

"Yes," I whisper, a soft promise in the still air. "I do."

I lift it, the sharp edges nicking the rough pads of my fingers as I press it softly against the snowy flesh of my wrist.

The blood bubbles up brightly, shining blackly in the dim light, red and enticing like cherries, ripe strawberries.

Except this is far from sweet.

It's _release. _

The blood hisses as it bursts from the cut, the skin splitting, furling back to form a slash both shallow but deep at once, pulsing sickeningly as I make another. The pain is beautifully mortifying and my memories slowly fade as I see the torment I've endured being written on my own flesh.

One slash.

Two slashes.

Three slashes.

Four slashes, all of them mind-numbingly horrific.

I don't realize what I've done until I stagger back, blade falling, slick with dark blood that coats the razor-sharp edge. My arm is dripping blood, falling to the floor in a gentle rain, wet on my arm as I stumble into the bathroom and see the neat, parallel slashes that ebb blood in a sick scarlet tide.

"Jade!"

A muffled shout jerks me from my daze and I snap my head up to hear a loud knock on the door. My heart stutters and stops as I recognize the voice.

Life must be fighting back now to hurt me worse because more recent memories are bursting forth from a shattered dam.

_Dad. I can't love boys, men, I just can't. I'm not—_

_You're gay? _His voice is snarlingly harsh and disapproving, disgusted and recoiling. _That's going to send you to hell, Jade. God has no room for filth like you. Outcasts! You're fucking disgusting— _

_That's bullshit._

_No, it's _true._ Get out of this house, Jadelyn. I never want to see you again, you screwed up beast! You're no daughter of mine, I didn't raise you to be like this— _

I'm jerked from my memories as I roughly wipe the blood from my arm, hand slicking across the expanse. More quickly wells up as pain shoots through my veins. I storm from my room.

The monsters are rampant tonight and I'm held together by a single, fraying thread right now.

He's waiting in the living room, his dark gray eyes slits of anger as he looks me down, rooting me to the spot.

"So." His voice is a deep growl, and I notice randomly that his hair has thinned considerably as he glares at me like I'm some piece of shit on his shoe.

When I see my father, it's like ash is building up inside me, flaking in charred bits, filtering in my lungs and choking off my breath, reminding me of the past, of the scars he left. They are snaking across my heart, my essence, physically and mentally in every terrible way possible. Memories well up, memories of the straight edged cuts that flow scarlet down my arms, made from the slashes of a knife, trying to express pain. It rolls over my ribs, feathers of flaked ebony, darkening them to smoke and souring my feelings until they're all sharp-edged and twisted black.

I _hate _ash. Ash means fire, dead fire, and fire is supposed to be warmth and light and life. Ash is cold and dead and unfeeling, the remnants of what was once flickering and living brightly.

He reminds me of ash.

—and I hate him.

"So," he repeats louder, pacing forward. A vein throbs in his forehead and his jaw is set furiously. "Jadelyn."

"That's my name," I spit back, concealing my arm behind my back. "Genius for you to remember ever since you cut me off." I can feel blood staining my shirt, blossoming across the black cloth. "I'm your daughter," I continue, my voice a guttural snarl. My arm twinges with pain, fire licking my veins. "You should love me the way I am!"

_Even if it's screwed up. _

He ignores the jibe and turns, his arms behind his back, fists clenching. "I pay for your apartment," he says softly, dangerously. "I pay for your car, your school fee. And yet you still—" he swallows, throat bobbing, mouth twisting in a scowl. "You still date a _girl. _I forbid it, Jadelyn."

"Sorry, dear _Father." _I scoff. "You don't dictate the way I live my life now. I'll damn well date whoever I want. I _love_ her, she cares more than you ever did! Whether it's a boy or a girl or a fucking combo, for God's sake, you—"

I don't get to say anymore because he backs me against a wall, his eyes pinning me. "You will not date a girl," he hisses, his hand shooting up to grab my neck, slamming my head against the wall. Stars sparkle at the edge of my vision, lapping blackness. His breath smells of alcohol and his eyes are bloodshot, hazy. "You'll regret this, or else."

"Or else what?" I shout back at him, writhing in his grip, arm trembling with loss of blood. He's strong, always has been, and I fall back as his fingers twitch as if he's envisioning snapping my neck. My head is spinning and my stomach is churning and I feel so weak all of a sudden—

He snaps his arm to the right, throwing me to the floor. His eyes flicker to my bleeding arm, the slashed red lines, and his mouth twitches in a frown. "And you're emo, too? God, what have I raised?"

"You haven't _raised_ me," I spit, struggling weakly as he looms over me, lip curling in a snarl. "If this is your idea of raising, it's fucked up! I've raised myself and dealt with your abuse, to me and Mom too before you kicked her out into the _streets_—"

A fist slams into my jaw and I fall back, gasping in pain. He kicks my ribs harshly. "You shut the fuck up, Jadelyn! You don't talk to me that way."

"I'll talk however I goddamn want—"

Another blow to the stomach, to the sternum, to the hips. I cry out as pain rockets and squeezes me tightly, pulsing through my body. Scrambling to my feet, darkness spinning at the edges my vision, blood spattered everywhere, I stumble away. Fire is scorching my arm. "I'm… leaving," I gasp, his furious face spiraling as my vision sways. "You can no longer… think of me as your daughter. I— hate you for making me what I am."

Then with tears streaming down my face, with his voice screaming after me, I lurch toward the door, blood running slickly down my skin, ruby rivers that wink in the half-light.

"This isn't over, Jadelyn! I'll be back to sort you out sooner or later!"

One thought pulses in my head. The person I shoved away and told to stay away.

I have to get to Tori's before everything falls apart, because right now I'm…

I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend to be strong.

I— I need her.

The drive to her house is a blur for me; I manage not to wreck the car. Luck, perhaps? Or is some deity on my side?

No, I don't believe in luck. It hasn't helped me for four years straight and now is no reason for that to change.

Maybe if I wreck the car it'll be luck, for this hell to end. Death would be mercy now— but I'm not a coward. I'm not taking the coward's way out… yet.

Blood is wet on my palms; the air smells coppery and tinted as I screech to a halt in the driveway, staggering out and to the front door. The stars glint mockingly at me as I swallow, head spinning with darkness, fatigue. With the last of my strength, I knock once, and then collapse back on the frame. I wipe the blood from my wrists and little wells up this time, but only when the porch light flickers on do I see the extense of my injuries.

Bruises already flower all over me, and my face is stinging sharply, aching with pain where my father punched me in the jaw. Blood is sticky all over my left side and hatred surges in my throat and I feel my body prickling with thousands of pin needles, shards of me bursting from my skin to disappear into the cold, uncaring air.

I hear the hollow noise of footsteps and then the door swings open.

Upon seeing her, something in me breaks, heart shattering into billions of shards, and I stumble, falling forward, hands outstretched in a plea. I can't see and the world is spinning and fiery pain burns me from the inside, demons cackling in my head as I cry out in agony—

Strong hands catch me just as the floor rushes up and I'm dimly aware of being dragged to the couch. I gasp a breath, unseeing, tears pouring straight from a broken heart. My ribs shudder, rattling as I cough, throat burning with agony and tears.

She props my on the couch and I lay limply. It's too late to fight anything, anyways…

I feel her hands on me, touching where my arm is ribboned in blood. I look down at her, catatonic, eyes blurred with tears as she looks up at me. She looks shocked, horrified.

Maybe it's me. Maybe I horrify her.

I won't blame her if she gives up. I probably would.

I feel her arms wrap underneath me and I don't even move; my strength has been sapped, taken by the demons inside. They laugh and flood my head with snowy alleyways and dark rooms and the silver sheen of bloody blades—

"_No," _I moan, struggling weakly, darkness pounding at my sight. Her eyes flicker down, and she's crying; tears drip down as she lurches up the stairs, blood staining her shirt.

I slump down as she collapses in the bathroom, head lolling against the wall. My nose stings, clogged with tears and hopelessness. I wonder if I've lost enough blood to die.

God, I hope so.

I feel skilled hands wiping blood from my shredded arm, and fire erupts along the veins, roaring hungrily. I shake with silent wails, frozen, unable, unwilling to move.

"Jade."

Her voice is firm and I look up slowly.

"Jade, who did this to you?"

"The bruises and scratches… my father. The cuts… I… I made them… I just want the pain to go_ away_, Tori…" I struggle to find the words, body rising as I slam at the floor, sight silver with pain. "I want to die, Tori, God! I just want to die, anything to make this all end, I hate it, I hate it…" My voice is pitifully weak and I drop back, snarling. My voice is a whisper, broken. "I don't want to live this life anymore."

She looks sadly into my eyes, frustration in the furrow of her brow as she grips my hand. "But you can't just—" Her voice breaks, eyes darkening to a deep amber, tears running down her face. "Why, Jade?" Her voice is a broken plea. "You're beautiful… Why would you do this to yourself? And— and your dad—" Anger breaks off her voice. I shake my head violently, the demons flooding out in a great surge, snow flaking on my head and bruises flowering within me. My face is slick with wetness, salt of pain.

Tears are salt and they're rubbing it in the emotional wounds, exploding with agony.

"Jade, this is serious. You might have to go to the hospital—"

I jerk away. "No. N- no, it's not as bad as it looks—" I choke back my protests. "P-please, Tori…"

She says no more, instead rubbing medicine over the raw, red cuts on my arm, hands cool and gentle over the aching blood of forming bruises. Her hand winds a soft bandage over the wounds and she softly places it back on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. I feel her raise my shirt and I flinch away as she brushes anesthetic over the cuts that scatter over my body, fingers cold against heated skin. I close my eyes tightly, trying to drown out the menacing whisper of the voices in my head.

"I love you, Jade… so, so much."

My eyes snap open at the quietly uttered words and I look, shocked, at Tori's grieved face. Lines etch over her eyes, worried grimaces, and I reach out to make sure she's not some apparition my mind has created to torture me.

The words come out with consent from me, falling from a parted mouth. "I'm afraid to love you back."

Her eyes flick up, shocked that I spoke. She swallows, hand clenching over mine, eyes splashes of dark shimmering gold. "Why? You know I'd never hurt—"

"I know." My voice is shattered with desolation. "I don't want to hurt you, Tori. I deal it out by lashing at people I love and…" I take a deep breath. Swallow once, twice, struggling for words. "I don't want how badly I'm screwed up to hurt you too, I love you so much it terrifies me, and I can't…." My voice breaks. "I don't want you to try and heal me when I'm this badly broken." Tears pool and fall down, little rivers on my skin. "I love you so much but I can't— I just don't want to cause you any pain, Tori, and that's all I seem to do. What if it's inevitable? Love ending, I mean. It always does and I— I just— "

She presses a soft, cold finger to my lips and I stutter, words stopping as she takes my hand in her own.

"Jade, I'm going to help you. You know why?"

I jerk my head to the side twice and she smiles sorrowfully. "I'm helping you because I love you and I care for you. More than I ever imagined I would… I could."

"Don't leave me," I whisper, reaching out for her. "Please…"

"I won't."

And I believe her, and somehow one more scar stitches itself up.

But blood is still flowing and I'm still trembling in agony as the demons from my past beat me down into dust, and I just don't know if I can do this anymore.

I was never strong and I wonder if I might have hit my breaking point, because now, all the light is gone…

_faded away. _

**oOoOoOoOo**

**This chapter was incredibly hard to write because I was troubled trying to express Jade's pure hopelessness and want for it all to end, as well as my own feelings for that matter… Hope I did okay. **

**R&R—all nineteen of you!— and until next time, Jori on!**


	19. So Cold

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

**Hey guys, thanks for all the heartbreaking reviews xD I know reading that was hard '-'**

**Get this. I had the sequel written up to the fifth chapter— that was a lot of hard work, and I was actually satisfied with it— and I **_**accidentally deleted it**_**.**

**So yeah. Gotta starting rewriting the sequel and I've lost my head start. Therefore, the sequel will only come out when I've written chapter 7+. Ok? Ok. :)**

**oOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I remember one time when I was eleven, I was in the kitchen, fighting with Trina. She shoved me into the counter and I fell back, and knocked over a vase. It shattered into chunks, maybe ten or so curls of glass, sharp shards all over the floor and we both got in huge trouble, but I can still remember how it smashed beautifully against the wood and how I thought, _this is unfixable. _

But then Mom took it and glued it carefully back together and you could hardly see that it had been broken; and the glue made it even stronger than before.

This leaves me to wonder if Jade is like the vase.

She's lying, trembling, on the bed, arms stiff by her side, face paled in shock and horror. Her eyes stare up at the ceiling blankly, deep blue orbs that are wracked with pain. I sit beside her, a hand softly stroking her hair and she trembles and whimpers softly, lost in the past.

Suddenly she jerks up, eyes wild, head jerking side to side as she brandishes a fist. A soft cry issues from her throat as I clutch her arm and gasp in shock. "Jade! Jade, what's wrong?"

Her eyes snap to me, and they clear, filling with tears as she collapses against me, crying miserably. I hold her tighter and whisper comforting words in ear as she shakes violently. My mouth twists in a sad frown as I look down at her, all her ice melted, with nothing left but a cold, sad puddle of nothing.

"I keep seeing it," she says, muffled, her head buried in my sleeve. "Feeling it." She pulls me closer, sobbing into my arm. "I hate being so weak."

"I'm here for you," I murmur into her hair. "I'm never going to leave you."

"Forever?" She says, sitting up and wiping her eyes with a slight hand.

"And always," I say back softly, my hands still curved around her. "Promise not to run away from me again."

"I'm sorry," she says softly, surprising me. "It was just… Old fears came back, and I got scared that you were just someone else that would get inside to the real me and then hurt me, like Beck did." She wipes her eyes again, makeup smudging the green, catlike. "And I saw you as… As _him. Hazel eyes. _So I ran home and thought if I could distract myself with physical pain it would make the demons go away…" She gives a soft, sad, half-smile. "But it didn't work. _Dear daddy_ showed up and beat me up like a real big boy." Her voice is bitter. "He was drunk. I could tell."

"I'm so sorry," I say, and I mean it. I feel awful, mortified, and she shakes her head slightly and pulls up the sleeve of her non-injured arm. I gasp.

Striped along the pale skin is white scars, pencil thin and neat, silvery gleams like snow. She jerks back down her shirt, covering them, eyes meeting mine stubbornly as she shakes my hand firmly. "So. You know."

Before I can say anything, she goes on. "Those are old. I swore to never cut again. I had everything locked away, but you unlocked it and that… I couldn't handle it all at once. But…" She takes a deep breath. Lets it go. "I promise not to do it again. Not after what I saw last night."

"You saw…?"

"You looked at me as if…" Her eyes flicker away. "As if I were completely gone. Broken. I'm not." She smiles weakly. "Not completely, Vega. Don't give up on me yet."

"Hey, I said I wouldn't." I laugh delicately, and she pulls me down beside her, my cheek pressed against the steady pulse of her neck. Jade rolls over on top me, grinning wolfishly, eyes twinkling as her hands crawl up my sides.

"No!" I giggle, writhing under her as she grins evilly, hands tickling my ribs.

She smirks. "Return of the Ticklebunny twins, Vega."

The door suddenly creaks open. "Hey Tori, what do you— _HOLY CHIZZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_

We both jump about ten feet in the air, Jade falling off of me as I shoot up, cheeks igniting in a furious blush. "Trina! What the heck?"

"We're_ not _fucking, you wazzbag. Chill." Jade's voice is smooth as a snake and I hit her lightly, cheeks flushing.

"You better not be!" Trina's mouth is agape in shock. "Tori, remember that you pledged abstinence—"

Jade swears behind me, hands tightening around my waist. "Is she serious, Vega?"

My mouth drops, a hot flush igniting my cheeks as embarrassment courses through me. "Yeah, kinda."

"No groping? Handcuffing and teasing? Nothing?"

"J-Jade! Shut up!"

Jade smirks widely as Trina gasps, hand fluttering over her heart.

"That's disgusting!" She makes a grossed-out face and whips the door shut with a hollow bang. "If hear any moans or screams I'm calling Mom!"

"We'll try to be quiet, but no promises!" Jade shouts after her. "I'm sure Vega isn't a screamer, but I bet I could make her one!"

Trina yells back an insult that wouldn't be allowed in print, and I choke on laughter as Jade rolls her eyes. "Sometimes I wonder if you two are related. Or why your parents didn't stop with her."

"I feel your pain. I have to live with her twenty four seven. It gets really annoying… always." I cock an eyebrow at her, gentle hands on her arm. "If they stopped with her, I wouldn't be here."

"Well," She leans forward and nuzzles her face in my neck— I can still feel the wetness of dried tears and shuddering breath. "I, personally, much prefer you over Trina."

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

(JADE'S POV)

We return to school the next day, and nobody asks about the healing, raw red lines that mark my wrists like bloodied burns. I claim them to be from Tawny's claws when Beck asks me nervously about them.

But still, I can see Beck's shocked eyes on the wounds, Andre's concerned looks, Robbie's nervous, jittery glances, and Cat's confused stare— but none of those eyes matter except for Tori's reassuring, protecting, comforting hand on mine. Nothing does.

When we sit down for lunch, Beck slides in next to me, left, and Tori sits nervously on my right. I give him a cold sideways glance and return my attention to my lunch, stabbing forcefully at a chunk of watermelon before clenching my jaw and jerking my head to look at Beck. "Did you want something?"

His eyes are big brown pools of what can only be described as chocolate, concerned and soft. "Are you okay?" He says softly, so only I can hear.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." The lie slips out easily and I look down at my food, fork mutilating my fruit as I jab at it.

His fingers brush almost imperceptibly over my wrist, pain lighting the raw skin, and I jerk it away with a snarl. "Fuck off, Beck." My voice is menacing and bitterly cold, twisted with anger.

He flinches away. "I was just asking. You don't look okay."

"Well don't ask. You broke up with me, remember, so why should you care?"

I turn back my attention to the table.

"Jade, did you hear?" Andre says, arms folding over the table as he perks a dark eyebrow at me. Feeling my angry expression soften somewhat, I roll my eyes and shrug slightly.

"What?"

"We got a new teacher for Calculus." His voice is dismal as he adds gloomily, "Everyone says he's really mean looking."

"What does he look like?" Tori asks, voice curious, head tilting to the side.

"I saw him in the hall," Cat pipes up. "He's got this kind of jagged black hair and he's really big and scary looking and his eyes are a sort of cold hazel… And he's got these weird scars all over like he fights. He yelled at me for offering him candy. I don't like him."

The rest of Cat's words are drowned out as a bombing memory implodes on me, leaving me choking for breath, gasping as Cat's words call up a vivid image in my mind.

Jagged black hair.

Cold hazel eyes.

Broad arms, rippled with—

Scars.

As my eyes widen, I can only complete one coherent thought while my word shatters around me, falling dust and ash leaving me breathless and gasping, fire scorching the air around as demons drown out the sky and memories flood me with horrific sensation, corroding and poisonous.

_He's back. _

Tori can see that something is wrong because I'm bent over, struggling for breath, scars tingling all over my arms as I clench the table. The world is spinning—

snow falling—

screams echoing—

_pleading _let me go, let me go!—

crying screams—

cruel laughter—

the hiss of a knife cold against her neck—

warm blood dripping down but she's so—

cold cold _cold_—

lying in the snow with torn clothes wishing she was dead—

violation and trauma and greed—

the image of hazel eyes, burning into her.

I jerk out of the memory with my eyes stinging sharply, and my breath coming ragged gasps. Everyone is looking at me, openmouthed, and I lurch away from the table, bile rising in my throat as a scream forces into my chest, doors opening with darkness pouring and filling me.

I run.

oOoOoOoOoOo

(TORI'S POV)

I find Jade later in the janitor's closet; she looks hollow, haunted, dead inside. She's slumped against the shelf, hands digging into her arms, jaw clenched.

"Jade," I whisper, closing the door behind me. She looks up sadly, sighing a deep breath that comes from her very core, hands falling away as I crouch down beside her. Dark eyebrows draw together as I take her arm and pull her close. She huddles into my chest, choking on a sob, ribs wracked with a shuddering cry.

"Jade." My voice pulls her from a seeming stupor and she murmurs back, "What? Do you know— "

"Do I know who you think it is?" My tone is dejected, anguished. "Of course. I know what you're thinking. I just…" I struggle to put my thoughts into words that won't hurt. "I think that you should go see if it's… him or not. There are plenty of people with that description."

"_Are_ there," She growls, getting up despite the doubt that swims in her pale gaze. "You know there aren't. Jagged black hair? Cold hazel eyes? Cat described him exactly, Tori. You don't ever forget something like that." A breath exhales from closed teeth. "I remember everything."

"I know you do," I whisper against her ear, soft and comforting. "But you don't have to think about it."

"I try not to. But it's hard, Vega. Especially when… " Her voice falters. "Especially when I haven't left where it took place. This very city."

I take her by the hand and pull her out of the closet, gently brushing hair back from her set face, and wiping the tear tracks from her cheeks. I shudder when I realize how different she's become, how weak.

No, I correct myself. Not weak…_ soft. _

I don't know if she's okay with that just yet.

I lead her into Calculus— surprisingly, she doesn't protest— and the class is shifting with murmuring kids. Some of them look angry at the fact that we have a new teacher.

"Hey," Jade mutters to me, "By the way, what the hell happened to the old teacher? That old bat, Ms. Price?"

"Oh yeah," I say sadly, "She fell down the stairs and broke her legs. She's taking the rest of the year off." A slight frown crooks my lips. "Poor woman. I liked her."

"I didn't," Jade states bluntly, dropping into her seat. "She gave a shitload of homework."

"I _like _Calculus!" My voice is indignant.

"Another reason we don't get along well," She teases me coyly, eyes glinting. Behind the sparkle I see her terror, apprehension, fearful anticipation.

Suddenly the door jerks open and the teacher steps inside.

The new teacher doesn't look lenient. He has ruffled black hair, narrowed eyes, and a jagged looking smile. His flecked hazel eyes are cold, unreadable, and his arms are broad and rippled with raised white scars under his business shirt. His gaze reminds me of a cold night, unbroken by stars, just the deepest path of pitch black with no light to guide it.

I wonder what kind of an idiot principal would hire this man to teach when already I'm intimidated, and he hasn't said a word.

"Hello, class," he says; his voice is a deep, growling rumble that's like the snarl of bear. It sends chills running down my spine. "I am your new teacher. You will address me as Mr. Garroth, or 'sir'." His smile is the grin of a wolf about to kill its prey.

The class mumbles assent around me, and only then do I realize what is wrong.

Beside me, Jade's whole form is tense, stiff as ice. Her eyes are huge as she gazes in speechless horror at him. I know that Jade is never scared so I know then.

It _is _him.

**Oh no! Who's this?**

**I hope I made it clear enough who this new teacher is. If you're confused, PM me.**

(I'm so cruel for doing this ^^')

**These next chapters will be explosive as Jade is confronted once and for all with her past and the man who caught her in that alley… what will happen and what plot twists will come? Keep reading and reviewing to find out! Until next time, -Floody**


	20. Stronger

CHAPTER TWENTY

My stomach is churning too and my mouth is dry, and fear clutches me strongly. I can just feel it, I just know it'll be him, know it know it _know it. _

The door swings open and I'm faced suddenly by someone who's haunted my nightmares for four years, and a scream rolls up my throat as he looks directly at me.

I can see things flash through his cold hazel eyes as he stalks up the aisle and I almost fall out of my seat jerking away from him. Recognition, cold amusement, and greed light his gaze as he glances over his shoulder at me. I feel like throwing up or screeching. I need to get out of here before I go insane because he looks like he knows me and remembers me and _why are his eyes full of lust_—

"Tori," I say under my breath. "Tori, Tori." She looks over, eyes pools of concern and fear as the teacher's gaze flicks toward her.

Fear is an understatement for what stops my heart right now.

"Tori it's him get me out of here oh my _God_—"

"Um," she squeaks, raising her hand high, dark auburn hair falling to the side as his gaze slides to her. Sudden fury ignites me as I imagine him doing to her what he did to me.

Hell no. If he does anything to Tori, _my _Tori….

"Mr. Garroth? Teacher sir?"

He jerks his pointed chin toward her, eyes frigid chips of ice. "What?" His voice is a rumble that unlocks another flood of memories—a sadistic laugh, a growled threat. Goosebumps shatter the flesh down my arms.

"I don't feel so good," she lies, swallowing, eyes terrified. I can't blame her, not when my own heart is slamming against my throat. "Can I go to the nurse?" He jerks his chin down, stabbing the air like a knife. The scar on my neck burns suddenly. "Go," he says. I see his eyes flick hungrily to me, a dark promise held inside them.

"Can Jade help me?" She squeaks. "My leg is acting up—"

He looks in boredom toward her prosthetic. "Yes. Which one is Jade?"

She gestures vaguely in my direction and this time I meet his gaze, standing up, hands curling into fists, eyes glaring directly into his own as my fists slam down into the table. A promise of vengeance echoes from me as I shoot him a poisonous glance. His smirk in return breaks my courage and I skitter to Tori, all but dragging her from the room.

There are no words for how my soul is breaking right now, billions of shards.

She helps me into the janitor's closet and I break down as soon as the door is shut, a muffled scream ravaging my throat as tears pour from eyes. I grip Tori's shirt as I slide down, the past stabbing me over and over and over with long knife, leaving blood everywhere.

"No, no, no, _no,_" I moan, hands fisting in her shirt. "Why…"

"Jade. Jade. Was that him—"

"Yes," I cry, pulling her against me. "Yes it was and he remembers me, Tori, I don't want him to hurt you but— and he's going to try again on me _I just know it—"_

She presses a soft kiss where my heart is hammering in my neck. "I won't let him hurt you," she whispers. "Remember— '_You'll be alright…"_

"'_No one can hurt you now,'" _I choke out. "But…"

"But?"

"I don't want him to rape you too."

Her eyes become cold like a lioness. "If he tries," she says, voice full of power, "He'll definitely regret it."

"How…?"

"My dad's a cop," Tori laughs simply. "I've been handling guns since I was ten and I learned how to defend myself in case this ever happened. My dad gets cases like these sometimes and he…" She shudders. "Let's not go into details. Just say my 'monster purse' is full of 'monster materials'." She rubs my shoulder. "I promise you this: he won't be staying here."

"You—" I swallow back my doubts, kill the demons in my head, allow myself to not be ice for a moment. "Promise?"

"I swear it."

I offer a weak smile. "Okay."

"Now let's go back— yes, I know it's hard, I know it's killing you. I'll be right beside you all the way and if he tries any funny business—"

Tori draws a swift finger across her throat. "I'll handle it. You can't get closure until you've faced this and accepted it, Jade."

I nod jerkily, sudden anger and want to stand up for myself filling me. I rise to my feet and grip her hand, helping her up.

"Let's go," I say.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

(TORI'S POV)

She's so strong. I would have gone hysterical by now.

He teaches the whole period, but I miss it all. All I can see are his flickering, hungry glances in her direction, and the defiant twist of her mouth as she never lets her gaze leave him, a silent challenge lurking within blue depths.

I want to kill him for even looking at her so… so lustfully. My God.

My stomach is boiling with anger by the time the period ends. The class exits the room and Jade and I stomp behind them, our hearts racing in one melody.

"Jadelyn— Is it West? You, stay behind." The teacher's voice is cold and unreadable as I whip around, anger flashing through me, my hand poised on the bottle of pepper spray that resides in my belt.

Jade stops stiff, her shoulders high with tension. I stay beside her and the teacher gives me an unfriendly glare. "You don't need to stay behind, Miss Vega, I'm not going to hurt her—"

"Sure you won't, you liar. I'm staying with her," I snap angrily, "To make sure you don't take advantage of her." I visibly pull the pepper spray from my purse and uncap it, hand tense. He recoils slightly, teeth showing in a slight snarl as he gives me a penetratingly cold glare, hands flexed on the edge of the desk.

"What," Jade snarls as the door shuts, "The _fuck _do you want?" Her voice is bitterly cold. "I know who you are," she adds with a dry, humorless laugh, her eyes flashing menacing blue fire. I would have been yelling in fear by now if Jade was looking at me like that. "Seems you remember me too, you rapist bastard. Couldn't keep it in your pants, could you? Well, here's something." She takes a step forward, stance threatening. I see him shrink back minutely. "I am a strong woman with a broken soul and a clear mind, all because of you. If you even try anything, I swear to God I will _kill _you with no regrets at all." Her hand snakes forward and pokes him in the chest, and her body shudders as she makes contact. "Got that?"

He chuckles softly, his arms flexing, face drawn taut. "Watch your step, Jadelyn. And I wouldn't take anymore trips from class for a… friend." His gaze flickers to me, voice becoming official, but there is sick glee underneath. "Or a significant other. I won't hesitate to punish you both."

"Don't say my name with your fucked up mouth," She snaps, whirling around and stomping to the door. "Don't look at Tori or even think of touching her, or you'll regret it." She laughs. "God, you'll regret everything you ever did to me. To anyone else for that matter. You'll be out of Hollywood Arts and in jail within the month, teacher dear. I'd watch _your _step, because I'm not a scared thirteen year old anymore. Far from it."

I can almost see fear in his eyes as we exit.

I feel so proud of her. She's a long way from closure but she took a massive step and faced him, faced her past bravely without crumbling.

As we leave, Jade grips my arm tightly and I can see how much strength that took to face him, let alone touch him, threaten him.

"I'm proud of you," I tell her, shaking her arm.

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't be," she mutters, almost angrily. "It's not a big deal."

"It's a huge deal! You—"

"Hey," she snaps. "Here's an idea: just go to class, Vega." Her voice is frigid, and the glare she sends cut me straight to the core, a knife of blue glacial ice. "I want— I want to be alone right now."

She turns on her heel and with a wave of black and green and blue hair, she's gone, leaving me behind a closed door, another wall thrown up between her and I.

I smack it hard and fall down bleeding.

**Shorter chapter than usual. I promise the next one will be longer, and relieve your suspense :) **

**Everyone, I made a victorious forum. I want all of you to join it! Here is the link: **

** forum/The-Ultimate-Jori-Forum/160986/ **

**Please PM me to join it. Everyone of you, post if you will be joining in** your reviews!


	21. Light at the End of the Tunnel

**Ahhh! I'm sorry for not updating, life's been pretty hectic as of late. Plus, I've been writing something for the AMAZING new web series Carmilla, so the sequel to Heal will be a bit late. **

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Blood rolls in a single scarlet drop down my arm, leaving a pale red track behind.

The pain feels good, distracting me from hazel eyes. I want to rip out my heart and just die—

No.

I trace the knife over the palest cobalt shimmer of a vein under snowy flesh, contemplate plunging straight down.

No.

Tori's eyes linger in my mind, and then the image of a greedy smile and cold eyes swallows up her gentle face, hands reaching for me in the night.

_No._

Maybe if I dig this knife deep enough I'll wake up.

Or maybe this is all really happening and I'm not asleep.

But maybe it's all a long dream and when I wake up, nothing will have changed and I'll still hate Vega and— and…

A cry rips from my throat as I jerk the knife away. Having things back to how they used to be would be worse. So much worse.

Because even though I hate to admit it, I've come a long way from the hole where I was.

I feel so cold.

It's so quiet here.

Nothing but the demons screeching in my head and ravaging me until nothing remains but blood and tears. I press a finger to the welling cut on my arm and it comes away a vivid shade of red, dyed cherries that I lick off.

The salt tastes like tears.

_Ding-dong! _

I throw the knife to the floor, bloodstained metal clattering and skidding across the hard tile as I stalk to the door. A heaving sigh rattles my ribs as I grip the doorknob, considering whether to open it or not. At last, with a harsh laugh, I decide why not— what have I to lose?

I yank it open, pain flaming up my arm as I stare balefully at the door. My expression drops away to surprise and pain as the visitor steps past me into the apartment.

"Tori?" My voice is full of shock and misery. "Why—?"

She puts her bag down on the couch and takes my arm, pain flitting across her face. "I'm here for you," she says simply. "Forever—"

"And always," I say out of reflex, flinching as she comes closer.

I didn't think she would care enough. I thought— no, I assumed— she'd leave me like all the others.

I never thought she'd keep climbing these walls when she risked falling off and being hurt.

"Tori," I whisper. Her eyes are bright orbs of dark gold as she looks up at me, hands wrapped around my neck. Her touch is no longer threatening or reminding of something else.

Now, it's all her own.

"Don't ever leave me."

"I'd rather be stuck in a room with Sinjin for five years straight than leave you," she whispers back.

"Damn, that's pretty serious."

She leans forward, breath exhaling softly, nose brushing mine. I capture her this time, and it's almost desperate: words are passed, promises made, ice melted.

When I pull away, she smiles at me and presses soft, warm hands onto the sensitive stretch of skin just above my stomach. "Can I stay the night?"

"Fuck, Vega, are you going to be a hopeless romantic on me the whole time?"

"No!" she protests, laughing. "I just—"

"Hell, it's fine. You can bunk in my room, even." My mouth twists in a grimace. "But I am not feeding you, Vega!"

"Awww," she whines, "Not even a little bit of food?" She sticks out her lower lip and I immediately crumble.

"Fine, fine." I lead her into the kitchen and comment teasingly, "You are turning me into a big softie, damnit."

"Hooray!" She claps loudly, making Tawny hiss irritably from where he sleeps on the couch. "Mission accomplished!"

A few hours later, I drop down into my bed, hair falling down over my shoulders as the mattress bounces slightly. Tori curls up close to me, reminding me of a kitten— warm, loving, needing protection. Her prosthetic leg knocks me— it's hard and cold and unnatural— but it only makes me want to protect her more against the dangers of the world.

I think I could even be more scared of her getting hurt by— by him, than of him hurting me. I'm strong enough to defend myself but Tori…

Tori's just warmth and light, and she couldn't hurt anyone, really.

But people could easily hurt her.

"You're like a big, fluffy guard dog," she murmurs sleepily, curling closer to me. I stroke a hand over her hair, soft and silky underneath my fingers, smelling of mangoes. Her eyes flicker up to me, deep warm brown framed by stray lines of chocolate-caramel hair that curl down her face like strands of syrup.

"Fluffy?" I say indignantly. "How the hell am I _fluffy?" _

She reaches up and brushes a hand over the twirling corkscrews of black black hair that rest on my shoulders. "There."

"That's not fluff, Tori. That's _hair." _

She pouts and my heart expands to probably three times the size. I think of the Grinch and snort. Maybe I've got a heart condition. "You're no fun," she grumbles, turning in my lap so her face is towards the ceiling, eyes soft as she snuggles closer to me. I lean back, lying down, and she falls with me, so I'm on back looking up at the ceiling and she's curled up beside my stomach, hands drifting aimlessly over my abdomen.

"You're cold," she whines.

"And?"

"And I don't like it."

"So what are you going to do about it?" I waggle an eyebrow in her direction, giving her a sharp edged smile.

She raises a hand and I slap it away. "If you tickle me, I will fucking hurt you."

She pouts again. "No fair."

"Life's not fair," I reply with a smirk, tilting my head to look at her. She flops an arm over my stomach and I notice what she says is true— she's warm and against my skin, it's like fire and ice.

"Tori," I say, my voice shockingly loud in the quiet room, reverberating with conviction, and i shudder. I hope she believes me.

"Yeah?" She cocks her head, reminding me of an innocent, naive puppy, almost.

"I love you."

She pulls me closer, head nuzzled into my neck, breath warm on my skin. "Te amo."

"The fuck does that mean?"

"It means 'I love you,' in Spanish, you idiot." I can feel her smiling against my skin.

"You're a dork, you know that?" I whisper, looking down with a grin.

"I'm in the nerd closet— I've already come out of the gay one."

I wrap her in tight arms, absorbing this moment so it will be mine forever. "Thanks for— for everything, Vega."

"You suck at thanking people, Jade." She laughs and presses a soft kiss to my neck, and I shiver involuntarily, body wracked with an unidentifiable emotion as she draws away with a small smile. "And when are you going to stop calling me 'Vega'?"

"It's a pet name. Affectionate, y'know." I ruffle her hair and she protests, batting my hand away. "And it annoys you, so that's a bonus."

"You little—"

"Vega, Vega, Vega—"

"Stop it!" she says, but she's laughing, a giggle bubbling up as I jerk my body over so she's curled up , head nestles below my chin, legs tucked up by knees. I kiss the top of her head softly, smiling against the soft brown waves. "You're going to be the end of me," I tell her. "I'm going to die because I loved too much in too little time."

"Sounds like the Grinch, you grunch," she says teasingly, echoing my earlier thought.

"I am not a grunch."

"Gank."

"No."

"Wazzbag."

"…Who even uses that term anymore, _Vega?" _

"Scary, even though it's sexy sometimes."

"No. Except for the sexy part."

"Adorable."

"God, no!"

"My girlfriend," she says finally, hands curling around my arms.

"Yes," I say softly.

I want to protect her, protect her innocence, of everything. I want to open up to her and be vulnerable and have her cradle me and tell me it's all going to be okay, for her to heal me and bring me back from the darkness.

"For you, I'm becoming too gay to function," she giggles, hands walking along my arm, fingers waltzing along pale skin. "It's like— like…"

"Having liquid rainbows pour from your mouth like vomit?" I suggest solemnly.

"That's disgusting." She sits up, hair rumpled.

"No," I argue, unable to keep from snorting at her look of horror, "Cat would probably think it was cool!"

"Cat thinks everything is cool!"

"She didn't like Happy Tree Friends or Llamas with Hats, remember?" I say seriously, watching as Tori's face transforms to annoyance and then clears into suppressed laughter.

"Obviously Cat didn't like it— the poor little forest animals were getting gored and the llama blew up everything and ate orphan meat!"

"Carrrrlllll, what did you do this time?"

"I give up," she groans, falling back on my lap. "You're sick."

"Quite healthy, on the contrary." I play with a strand of her hair, dark mocha winding through slender fingers. "You've known this, _sunshine." _

"That's what we are, is it?" Her grin is playful and dorky, arms splayed out on her sides. I walk my fingers down her sternum. "Sunshine and rain?"

"Yeah," I agree, and then we're meeting in a kiss that's fire and ice—

sunshine and rain?

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

The next day I wake up with an unnaturally good feeling. There's no hard rock of dread weighing in my stomach, no lump in my throat, no tingling scars on my arm.

In fact, I realize, I'm not even worried about facing… facing him. Maybe it's because I know he can't hurt me now.

Maybe Tori's found exactly the right medicine to heal these wounds.

I get up from the bed and yawn, running a slender hand through my hair, a small smile spreading across my lips as I see Tori curled up on the bed. The sheets are tangled around her legs and a foot pokes out over the side, one arm tucked under the pillow and another flopped out where I've just gotten up. She whimpers in her sleep, as if she can sense the lack of a body where I was.

With a devious grin, I pick up a small, silvery whistle that glints from my bedside. I wet my lips and place them over the opening, bending down beside Tori's ear. With a sharp exhale, the whistle screeches shrilly and shatters my eardrums. I wince and drop it, eyes flashing up as Tori jerks from her sleep, eyes wide.

Maybe I should have roused her differently…

"Jade!" she whines, voice thick with sleep. "That was not cool!"

"Wasn't intended to be." I smirk as she rolls off the bed, falling to the floor with a groan. The sheets swoop down as she thuds on the carpet, hair a rumpled mess. She groans and dangles a hand in the air. "Help me up? Please?"

"Hmmm…" I bend down, eyebrows perked in a smug smile. I trace my hands along her cheek, down her jaw, brushing sensually above her collarbone. Her breath hitches as I press hot fingers just above the swell of her breasts. "Nah. I think you can get up on your own, sunshine."

"You freakin' _tease," _she mutters, arching upward as I walk my fingers further down, hand flat over her breast. I arch an eyebrow as she hitches again, the edge of my lip curling up as her eyes flutter shut. "What was that, Tori?"

"Tease!" she gasps out, flipping over and throwing my fingers off.

"So, you're calling me a pervert," I snort as she glares up at me with no anger in her eyes, only hints of amusement.

"What— no!"

"Well, then you can't blame me." I jerk open my closet and rip a dark laced shirt and ripped black leggings from the hangers as Tori battles with the knotted sheets behind me. "I'm one-hundred percent a perv, which you should know by now."

"I think I knew from day one, Jade." She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, rising from the heap of tangled sheets. "You just couldn't keep your eyes off of me."

"You were _rubbing my boyfriend!" _I protest with a smug grin, shoving my feet into silver and black combat boots.

"Well," she says, shrugging slightly, "I wasn't interested in Beck." She winks and stretches, shirt riding up to show the swell of her hips, the soft curve of her stomach, the top of her shirt curling down to reveal her breasts. My stomach coils with heat, body tense like a bowstring ready to release. "Just his girlfriend, eh?"

"Who's the perv now, Vega?"

She opens her mouth to reply, stammering, cheeks flushed bright red, when suddenly her mouth drops open. "Jade! We're gonna be late for school!"

"Shit," I say, eyes flicking to the clock. "Better hurry up, then."

She scrambles to the ajar door of the bathroom, her hands already streaking through her rumpled hair. I chuckle and throw a leather jacket over my shoulders, hands running through and untangling a last curl of hair. A wail comes through the bathroom door. "Jade! I don't have any clothes!"

"You could _always _go naked," I reply drily, leaning on the dresser as she pokes an anxious face out. "But then again, I don't want anyone drooling over you."

"Aw, well aren't you sweet," she says sarcastically, poking her tongue out at me.

"Here," I say, rifling through my closet. "Come get something."

"I don't want to wear all black—"

"_Oh, is little Miss Sunshine and Rainbows afraid of the dark?" _I mock in the voice I reserve just for her. She scowls— surprisingly still looking amazing. "I don't talk like that!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Get over here."

She hops delicately from the bathroom and I freeze as I see she's wearing only a sports-bra and and skin-tight shorts. She gives me a coy glance and says slyly, "Staring, hmm?"

I blush and turn back toward the closet, hands shaking slightly, heat balled in my stomach as I pull out a dark gray sweater and toss it to her. "This good enough?"

"There's a bloodstain on the sleeve."

"Oh yeah." I smirk and take it back, eyes scanning the dark patch of brownish-red blood, a slight frown furrowing my forehead. "I knew the guy must have splashed some blood on me before I killed him—"

"Jade!"

"Kidding, kidding. It's from when I accidentally beat up Maggie Brass a few weeks ago. Remember?"

"I don't think you can 'accidentally beat up' someone…" She pokes the stain tentatively. "I think I'll pass this one up."

I sigh loudly and snatch a tight fitting black tank top. "It's a little tight in the upper regions but it'll do for you, 'cause you're flatter than anyone I've ever seen. Seriously, Vega, we're in high school. It's about time you grew some—"

"Don't say it!" She flushes a bright red that would shame even the ripest strawberry. "I can't help it."

"—Boobs."

"_Jade!"_

"What the chizz is wrong with the word 'boobs'? Anyways, you know it's true, even Cat has more rack than you do." I slam the closet shut, throwing a raised eyebrow look at her. "You're jealous. I've caught you ogling my chest so many times—"

"I do not!" She flushes an even brighter red, stuttering. "And how would you know? Do you stare at Cat and I and compare?"

"Not often you meet somebody who has a comeback for everything," I laugh. "Come on, Vega. Let's go."

**Let's try and hit 212 reviews! Come on, we can do it! 15 reviews—everyone reading this, scroll down and gimme a comment on something you liked, or didn't, or a comment :D**


	22. An Ending

_CHAPTER TWENTY TWO _

The air is warm and threaded with the first hints of full on spring, crisp and clear, with trees putting forth flowering buds and dogwoods dropping pale flowers to the ground. The soft petals scatter like white rain across the parking lot and I reach down, laughing, to pick up one. It's a delicate shade of white, rimmed with dark, pink-gold, and I drop it into Jade's hair. It adorns the lustrous black waves beautifully and pops out starkly against the darkness of her hair.

She plucks it out gently and holds it forth to me. "No, you take it." With this, she reaches up, hands delicately moving through my hair as she winds it into place. A small smile tugs the edges of her lips. "There we go."

"Are you sure you didn't put— put a bug in my hair or something?"

"I can't believe it, Vega." She forces on a fake look of hurt. "You don't trust me."

"Of course I do," I say, laughing, taking her hand and pulling her across the wind-flurried lot, petals swirling in miniature tornadoes around us as the wind scatters them. "I've always trusted you."

The sun beams down, a huge gold drop in the high-arching blanket blue, swathed in cirrus clouds. Andre greets us at the front door, his face wrinkled in a worried frown as he sees me. "Tor! Hey, Tori!"

I frown a little and hurry, plastic leg catching over the curb and sending me sprawling onto the sidewalk with a cry of pain.

Immediately, Jade reaches down and hauls me up, arms flexing taut as I straighten and brush a hand through my wind-blown hair, letting out a small groan of sadness as I see the dogwood flower crushed on the walk. Jade gives me a small pat on the shoulder and lopes off, black hair streaming out behind her.

Andre takes me aside, his eyes worried. I cock my head, anxious. "What is it?"

He takes a deep breath. "Tori, I'm not stupid. I was in Calculus. I read Mr. Garroth's expression, and Jade's, and yours. I know what's going on, and I don't like it."

"What's going on?" I ask, stalling for time, feet shifting nervously. Surely, surely he can't have guessed.

"Jade and him—" He looks uncomfortable, dark brows arching over worried eyes, hands wringing together. "He did something to her. Didn't… did he?"

My hands ball up. Yep, he guessed. 

"Not here, where people can hear." I say under my breath, grabbing his hand and tugging slightly. "Come with me."

He trots along as I seize him and run. I pull him into the janitor's closet, eyes casting around as I shut the door and prop my weight against it.

"What the helicopter is going on?" he says, looking baffled, his hands curling in his pocket.

I take a deep breath, squeezing his hand before dropping it. "You can't tell anyone this," I warn him, breath rattling in my chest. "No one, got it? And especially not Jade!"

"Okay," he says, expression confused.

"When Jade was thirteen," I say quietly, breath stuttering in my chest, "She was walking home from school, and she… she was raped." I see his face fall, eyes widening almost comically as he bites his lower lip. "That Garroth guy— it's him. I don't know why or how he found her, here at Hollywood Arts, but he _did._ And that incident hurt her really bad, especially now that he's back."

His face is angry now, eyebrows digging furiously over his nose. "And he had the _nerve _came back here?"

"Yes. And she's terrified he'll try it again."

"Not with me on guard," he says loudly. "Heck no. He ain't getting anything from her, that's for sure."

I wring my hands together. "I think was going to… to try yesterday. He made her stay after class."

"And?"

"I stayed with her and pulled a pepper spray. He looked like he was going to wazz himself."

"Nice." His eyes gleam like a lion's— anger, boldness, pride, bravery. "Tori, I'm here for ya. You and Jade both— you ever need help, I'm your guy." His face sparks with anger. "And I swear we'll get him out of here and into jail, Tori. I swear it."

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

I jot down a note on my paper, hand aching from writing so much as I let the pencil clatter down onto the desk and stare at the black scrawls until they blur hazily.

Calculus _sucks. _

I used to love it, but then this— this Garroth guy dared to come along. Not only is he a complete _wazzbag_, he's a terrible teacher too.

My hand rubs my neck as I prop my head, elbow digging into my desk. My eyes slide sideways to where Jade is yawning at her desk. Her arms are folded threateningly and her eyes are glaring like she's about to pop out a gun and shoot us all.

That's probably why Garroth isn't looking her way anymore. He may be cruel and soulless but— but he's a coward. Only a coward would do what he's done.

"I don't get this," I growl under my breath, a frustrated breath flaring my nose as I swing my glance upward. "Calculus is so stupid—"

The teacher glances over his shoulder, eyes cold. "If you don't get it, Miss Vega, you can stay after school today for my tutoring session, and to learn about speaking out of turn while I am teaching a class."

My heart explodes in fear. "B-but I didn't—"

"It's not a choice, Miss Vega. I'm telling you. Unless you'd rather make it up this Saturday?"

"N— no," I stammer, my throat thick with fear, bile in my mouth. "I'll stay."

My eyes flick over to Jade, and her teeth are almost bared in a snarl as her eyes spark fire, longing for vengeance shooting from every pore in her body. 

When her eyes dart to me, the fear in them is palpable.

School ends, uneventfully, a few hours later. My shoulders are set with tension, backpack rubbing uncomfortably into my shoulders. I take out my pepper spray and shove it in my pocket, my heart racing as I walk toward the Calculus room, hatred and anger and fear boiling in my stomach.

Mr. Garroth is waiting when I enter the room. As the door clicks shut, my heart thumping loudly, my ears roaring with blood, he rises with a cruel twist of his mouth, his face drawn and taut.

I feel like I'm going to be sick. I wish Jade were here to protect me from his approaching tread and hungry eyes—

"So, Miss Vega." He slams his hands down onto the desk. "Tori, Tori, Tori. You seem to be well acquainted with Miss Jadelyn."

"It's actually Jade to you, _wazzbag_," I snap back, anger flaring, all my sweetness gone. I remember Jade's voice.

_Cats have claws._

"And if you even think about touching her—"

"Oh, no." His voice is smooth as a snake, and I notice with a bolt of panic that he's backed me up against a wall, a corner, with no escape. "I wouldn't dream of it. Not that little spitfire, hm? She's already…" His voice lowers, become husky as he draws near, face taut and impassive. "Had her uses, as it were."

"You mean you raped her," I snarl, backing, spine hitting the wall, hands sweating profusely. He comes up so close I can feel him, his hands brushing my neck, a greedy smile marring his features. His eyes flicker with an unreadable emotion as they drop down.

"If that's what you want to call it," he says lazily. There is no remorse at all in his tone, only dismissal, nonchalance, and that sets fire shooting into my blood. His hand shoots up to my neck, holding it back, choking me off against the wall. I struggle to scream but he has cut off my breath and I know the blow is coming as his hand fumbles with button on my jeans—

"What the hell are you doing to Tori?"

His head snaps to the left and his hand whips away as a voice rings out coldly in the room.

But it's not Jade.

It's _Beck_.

He backs away, grinning cruelly. "Mr. Oliver. How good of you to show up." I can see fear and hatred in his hazel eyes.

"I said," Beck growls, slamming the door, drawing closer with fire flickering in his eyes, "_What. Were. You. Doing. To. Tori_?"

It's not often you see Beck's angry side, but now, I've never been more glad to glimpse it.

I've never been more happy to see him. I leap from the corner and hide behind Beck, heart slamming, nose burning. Beck moves forward to shelter me, sparing a comforting glance at me. "I'll protect you," he says softly, and though I know I'm not Beck's favorite person right now, his eyes are filled with fury on my behalf.

"Oh," he says, silkily, his voice poisonous, jerking our attention back to him. "Nothing at all."

Beck's eyes are fiery slits. I've never seen him so angry. His hands are balled into fists and his hair shadows his eyes. "You were going to rape her," he snaps, "Just like you did to Jade, weren't you?"

"And even if I was," he hisses back, face taut, drawn with anger, eyes cold, "What would you do about it?"

"This," Beck says. He withdraws his hand and pulls a small black voice recorder from his pocket, the red light bli. "I have everything you've said," he adds sternly, eyebrows etching thin crevices in his brow. "And when the police get this, they'll not only have evidence that you were going to rape Tori, they'll also have charges that you violated Jade, too."

His hazel eyes fly wide and in them I can see pure loathing and hatred. He moves forward, fists clenched, but Beck grabs my wrist and pulls me. "Let's go," he says quietly, pulling open the door and dragging me out. "Hurry!"

I run and don't look back.

**Hey guys :D  
If you're reading this, this is the second to last chapter. So, let's pull up some reviews!  
Oh, and I published a new story—I'd be honored if you R&R'd. **/s/10788866/1/Stars-and-Candles


	23. The Closing

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

The next day, Tori tells me how he tried to hurt her and my sight blurs red, scarlet, crimson.

"You mean that— that shithead— got you in the room?" I snarl, my fists curling tightly, crushing the chip I'm holding. "What—"

"He backed me against a wall, said how he was done with you and this— this crap about how you'd already had your uses, like you were some prostitute or something. I would have punched him but he cornered me and said it was my turn and tried to unbutton my jeans." She's trying to sound nonchalant, but fear shines below indifference and I wrap an arm around her, heart screaming behind bleached ribs. "He'll never hurt you," I say. "You hear me?"

"Yeah. I was so scared but then Beck burst into the room and got it all on tape," she says quickly, eyes shining with hope. "If that tape gets to the police—"

"He could get arrested," Beck says, leaning forward with a solemn face.

"Oh my God," I say under my breath, and then I look up, gratitude warming me. "Beck— I- I don't know what to say— thank you—"

"Jade," he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose and then smiling sheepishly, "I care about you. Really, I do. I know I didn't show it but…" He swallows. "I'm happy for you both," he finishes quietly. "And I'll support you both through this.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

We take the tape to the police.

Garroth— the rapist, the tormentor, my worst nightmare, the instigator of it all, the man who broke me— gets jailed within the next week.

Tori and I go to trial after Beck turns in the recorder to the police and it turns out— as several others came forward from Hollywood Arts— he'd violated at least three others, all of them too scared to speak up, too ashamed. The judge gave him a sentence of twenty five to life, labeling him a 'menace to society'.

And one more wound, the biggest one of all, gashed deep over tissues of my heart and soul, bleeding out every day— this wound stitches into a faint scar.

I brush a gentle hand over the clean grass, vibrant green, pushing up from soft soil.

New life. That's what spring is, right?

With new life, comes new hope, and Tori was everything I could have hoped for. She took my wounds and looked at them. She didn't try and shove them together, stitch them like Beck tried. She took her time and wiped away the hurt and found the source and gently healed them— healed so I didn't even know I was better until I could look at them without flinching.

And so I tell her I love her. I tell her I'll do my best to try for her.

Because she deserves that.

"Vega?"

"Hmm?"

"You know I'd die without you, right?"

She looks at me, face washed in warm moonlight, smile gracing her face with more beauty and the night sky above. "And that's why I'll never leave, you doofus. I'd miss you too much if you died."

Next thing I know, I'm on my back in the grass while Tori is kissing me passionately above, the stars glimmering like ships in the night.

I know things will be rough. Because she's Tori, and I'm Jade, and the world is bound to try and crash us, two ships that collided in the darkness.

But hey— we're also Vega and West, and we're tough as nails. We're ice and fire and sun and moon.

And opposites attract, don't they?

The road is long from being travelled, and we've stumbled over the thorns with bleeding feet. But now we're on a smooth patch in this path while we heal.

And we'll enjoy this path because Tori is all I've ever wanted…

I'm not about to let her go.

She's the girl I love that's healed me, and now we're ready to take whatever comes next. Tori's my saving grace and the girl I can be weak with, the fire and sun, this person I'm head over heels, falling up for.

Because whatever it is, as long as she's holding my hand and whispering in my ear, I can be strong.

This is the last chapter of Heal. My God… it's been a LOOOOONNNNNGGGG ride!

Is it the end? No way, Jose! We've got a sequel, duh ^^

I purposely left loose ends ( a lot of them, in case you hadn't noticed) to tie up in the next book. No need to solve everything, eh?

Kk. Time to thank all you lovely ducklings who wasted time on this horridly written thing


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